Sabrina Renee

The Power of Surrender

Posted on February 1, 2026 by Sabrina Renee

When I was deeply into my spiritual practice, there was a phrase I’d chant to bring me into alignment. I’d light a candle, sit on the cushion in front my my altar, close my eyes and tune in.

“Surrender my ego for my soul’s purpose so that I may receive what’s meant for me.”

It’s been a while since I’ve sat in front of that altar or had a formal practice of any kind since entering motherhood, but that phrase has stayed fresh in my mind. That phrase is the prayer I lean on when I’m expecting maturity or silence from my babies. It grounds me into the understanding that life does not unfold in all the ways I believe it should-that’s the ego talking. Instead, life constantly offers opportunities for me to live purposefully, as long as I surrender my agenda.

This week’s BLOOM theme is all about the expression of the universe through day to day life. I’ve been reading Becoming Supernatural by Dr Joe Dispenza for the 5th time, only this time I’m consistently applying the practices. In just a few days of shifting my attitudes and thoughts about where I’ve been struggling, there have been incredible changes. And I’m not saying these problems have vanished, even more powerful, they’ve stopped being problems!

What stands out as the biggest blessing this week is my will to create change when I recognize it’s necessary. It may not be immediate but when there is an intuitive pull in my life informing me that I’m misaligned, or traveling down a path of fear and doubt, I heed the call. Each time it looks different but this week it looks like practicing a mindset shift during low energy moments, reminding myself that instead of yelling I can speak calmy, instead of silencing the alarm I can whisper “thank you,” as I lift my head off the pillow, instead of stressing about lack of sleep I can remember what a blessing it is to have a healthy vocal baby laying in bed next to me keeping me on my toes. My biggest blessing this week is not just my willingness to do the thing I know needs to get done, it’s the attitude I bring when I decide to show up.

The lesson that’s shining through for me this week is the power of surrender. It’s one of those things that I’ve read about a million times in self-help and personal development books, something I’ve understood and accepted logically for years. However, this week I’m experiencing the results of consistently surrendering the tight and tense feelings in my body for relaxation and calm. Which translates to me noticing that my body is reacting to a negative thought I’m having, which is causing me to contract in my body. Therefore, the lesson I’m continuously learning is the more that I tune in to how I’m feeling the more control I can take over what I’m thinking and guide it where I’d like to go, and choose how I’d like to feel.

The obstacle I’m facing the most this week is my own damn self, more specifically my pride. There are certain ways I’ve expected myself to behave in motherhood, or life in general, that I’ve needed to adjust. It’s easy to have expectations before life actually unfolds and while I know that logically, the emotions of what I believe “should be” occurring can really overpower my senses. And this ties into the lesson of surrender because the tighter I hold onto “the should” the further I become from what is, the more unnecessary stress I create in my world.

As a result of my lesson on surrender and obstacles with pride, the opportunities I’ve been seeking are to change my mindset each time I encounter a negative thought. Which of course first requires noticing my thoughts at all followed by the will to shift it, no matter how strong the current is. This week’s negative thoughts were about the way others were showing up and how frustrated it made me feel. But there’s no use in focusing on what I can’t control, so I sought opportunities to shift my thoughts toward how I could respond rather than react and it helped remind me I have a choice-always.

This week a lot of momentum was being generated toward attracting my highest and greatest good and I’m real proud of that. It takes a lot of work to reprogram my thinking and I’m the only one who can do it, so I’m showing up and it feels good. Momentum looks like waking up to go to the gym after 4 hours of interrupted sleep, choosing kindness over crankiness when I’m running on reserves, pausing during the good moments to soak them in so that the bad moments don’t have as much power over me. Moving into next week I’d like to build on that momentum by planning things ahead of time to bring the energy of preparation, anticipation, and consistency into my days.

Thankful for another week of reflection and intention. Cheers to choosing gratitude and awareness again and again.

Uncategorized, Weekly Insights

Back in the BLOOM

Posted on January 25, 2026 by Sabrina Renee

It’s the third week of the new year, entering the fourth, and I’ve decided to bring back my weekly BLOOM check-ins. Too many months have passed since I sat down to review my week, reflect on my attitudes, and make a conscious effort to move forward with intention.

Last year was probably the hardest one I’ve lived to date and as a result I ended up in a real dark place. Between being postpartum and grieving my parents there were so many emotions flooding me all the time that I started to avoid them.

My body was withering, my mind was wandering, my soul was whispering for me to come back home. It took months to even hear the whisper but ultimately it became louder than the urge to neglect my needs. So here I am.

It’s officially been 6 weeks since I started taking care of myself again. Going to the gym 3 times a week, waking up early to meditate, reading books about spiritual evolvement, and hydratining more-still not enough water but I’m making progress nontheless.

Now that I’ve built momentum while discovering my identity I’m ready to hold myself even more accountable for my actions, and the best way I know how is to BLOOM weekly.

This week’s intention was clarity.

As I was walking on the treadmill to cool down after my workout Monday morning I asked myself “Okay Sabrina what’s the day looking like?” And it dawned on me that was the first time in a very long time I had really considered how I want to show up in my day.

And I had no idea. I mean aside from the mom responsibilities I tend to daily and the chores at home that need to be done, I didn’t have a focal point for myself-which is the whole point of this journey. I lost myself in my roles and relationships to others, buried so deep I forgot I’m an individual underneath it all.

So I decided to gain some clarity by asking myself some introspective questions and journaling my responses. Writing out answers to questions like “what’s my purpose” and “who do I want to surround myself with” and “what legacy do I want to be remembered for?”, all helped me realize that I wasn’t as far gone as I had thought. I just wasn’t checking in.

The more questions I ask the more clarity I’ll have to take the next step toward who I am becoming. Now on to the important questions.

What was the biggest BLESSING shinning through the week?

My body and all that it’s capable of doing.

This week I was able to increase reps and weight at the gym, something I fantasized about while pregnant with my second son. I couldn’t wait to challenge my body again, do a HIIT workout, practice push-ups and lift heavy weights. I’m so thankful for how far this body has taken me and how far we’re going to continue going.

What was the biggest obstacle on the path this week?

The struggle that kept holding me back was my frustration and lack of patience with my kids. Whether someone was whining or taking a toy from the other, or procrastinating bedtime while sharing stories of their day in jibberish, it all felt really hard to hold. At one point my husband and I couldn’t even have a conversation because the talking/playing/crying was so loud we couldn’t hear each other.

What was the opportunity you sought for healing, growth, or expansion?

Each time I lost my cool, or the few times I caught myself before doing so, I’d notice where I was holding tension in my body and release it. Tight shoulders? Exhale and release. Clenching my jaw? Exhale and release. Even tension I held in thought form tightened my face and when I recognized it I made an effort to let it go. Over and over and over and over again.

What is one way you can build momentum moving into the next week?

I’d like to build momentum toward being a more patient and kind mother, not just when it’s easy. The purpose of my early morning gym and meditation sessions was to refill my cup. It’s been AMAZING to prioritize myself again and now it’s time to practice finding harmony with who I am to others as well.

A simple way to build momentum is to cut the distractions so I can practice presence; finding one on one moments with each of my boys and devoting my undivided attention towards their favorite toy or book. A priceless gift that expands us all.

It feels really good to be checking in with myself today. I hope you carve out the time to do the same ❤️

Healing

How I’m Healing (2023)

Posted on December 2, 2023 by Sabrina Renee

This season’s focus is on paying attention to the character being played out in my life, to be the awareness behind the unfolding. It’s something I have committed to practicing again because I forgot. Each time I forget to be aware of the story it’s because I started to believe it as permanent.

And there’s even deeper layers than that.

So let’s tie everything with the theme of distraction, otherwise referred to as “you’re doing it again.”

So this season I’m paying attention to myself from thoughts and behaviors to habits and identity anchors, simply noticing. Noticing how I show up for myself, for others, places I’m shining, and places that I’m keeping dark, my responsibility is to become aware of the life I’m currently living.

My job is to practice paying attention.
It’s a practice which means I will keep coming back to it, over and over again.

The end game is when the game ends, the game of life, there’s no ultimate goal other than waking up.

The obstacle that’ll be faced for everyone is falling back to sleep, going from awareness to distraction, over and over again.
Rather than associating negative feelings with being distracted learning how to stop taking it personally and start taking responsibility for the change.

It’s my job to notice who I am and accept it, to decide who I will become, to forgive who I was.

Cultivating, manifesting, and deciding the details of the life I want to build is part of my day to day. Some seasons call for more action to be taken, others urge reflection, grounding, and gaining clarity, the last one is what I’m aligning with.

Simply because I’ve remembered to. I was jolted out of the story playing in my mind just long enough to become a witness as if the main character of your TV show broke the 4th wall.

Standing back far enough to see you’re in costume, dressed up as this personality that was founded on beliefs, some of which you’re not even aware of, that are deeply driving the vehicle (your body) through this life. Beliefs of fear and love are the seeds planted within blossoming or dying off from the amount of focus fed.

Making a cup of tea, looking at my apothecary, noticing it’s a bit more full with what is healing.

Connecting back to my relationship with healing, what it’s looked like, where it’s begging for the light of awareness to be pulled out of the darkness. A nudge back into alignment with the vision after becoming lighter from letting go of assumptions and expectations, moving higher, closer to my higher self.

Remembering it’s not about the details, the story, or the anchors in identity during this chapter of the character’s story. It’s about how it all feels and whether it’s bringing you closer or further from where you want to go.

So when you notice you’re distracted, you’re doing it again, come back to an anchor in the present moment. Unhook yourself from what’s pulling you in multiple directions and decide you’re going to stand tall, here and now.

Remember to stand back far enough where you are not your thoughts, your feelings, your experience. You are the awareness behind all of those things. Someone playing a character, stepping into a role that can be changed at any time.

Notice and come back, over and over again.

Healing

Before Inner Work (PT1)

Posted on September 11, 2023September 11, 2023 by Sabrina Renee

When people meet me or stumble across my teachings they have assumptions of who I am because I am a mindfulness teacher. They see that I lead meditations, or have attended my workshops and believe that I’ve got it all together.

Some people think I am calm and patient all the time.
Some people think meditation comes easy for me.
Some people think I have always been this way.

That’s the one that stops me in my tracks. Because it wasn’t too long ago that I was at my emotional rock bottom looking for the solutions I get to offer people today. When I think back on all of the inner work I’ve done to learn how to love myself, heal my suffering, and make personal growth a priority, it honestly feels like I’ve lived 100 lives already.

And while I am incredibly proud of who I have become as a result of the work I’ve put in, I never want to forget who I was, or where I was, or the crazy shit I used to do. It humbles me and I need that to stay grounded.

But also, I never EVER want someone to believe that I have ALWAYS been mindful, that I have ALWAYS treated myself with compassion, that I have ALWAYS had the answers to pain points like anxiety, stress, emotional regulation, or positive beliefs. Because not too long ago I was so lost and clinging to the belief that I didn’t deserve more than the shitty circumstances I found myself in time and time again.

So in honor of my Inner World program I’d like to share stories and lessons from who I was BEFORE I put the work in. Because my past self is the reason I am who I am today. She suffered alone in the dark for years before ever having the thought that things could possibly be better one day.

And if this is you right now, suffering alone in the dark struggling to believe that you deserve a life of peace, happiness, health, and deep unconditional self-love, then I pray this finds you exactly where you are.

I pray you read these words and KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that you’re meant for more than the pain you carry.
I pray you know that you are worthy of love.
I pray you know that no one’s opinion of you matters more than your own.
And most importantly, I pray you know that you don’t need permission to be better or want differently for your life, you just need to believe it’s possible.

This isn’t an article about how to change your habits, how to think positive, or how to achieve your goals. Instead, I’m choosing to share the stories of who I was before I was able to think positive, believe in myself, or trust that anything could be better than it was. This is who I was before I learned to love myself, before I healed my suffering, before I learned how to grow through what was happening rather than shrinking because of it.

This is me before the inner work.

When I was 17 years old I got caught in a parking lot with a white powdery substance. And that wasn’t even the craziest part of my night.

At the time I was experiencing my very first season of depression, but I didn’t know that nor did I have the words to articulate the pain I was going through. I had a job, I was on the basketball team, I was showing up to all my classes. The bare minimum bar that’s set for a teenager was being met so I couldn’t see the problem. I was maintaining.

It was shortly after my very first heartbreak that I turned to drugs and partying as a means of escaping the pain that wouldn’t go away. Again, this isn’t the language I’d use back then because it was just me having a good time. I had no idea how much and how far I was running from the pain within me.

Blacking out on the weekends became so routine that I had gotten used to hearing stories the next day of the parts of the night I couldn’t recall. But in those stories I was such a good time so I rolled with it.

And if you would have tried to tell me I was depressed I’d surely call you crazy. Because I was going out with my “friends” and having what I’d classify back then as a good time, even if I was sickly thin, had more cigarettes than meals each day, and my heart would be racing nearly every moment of every day. Who cares, you’re only young once right?

Anyway, it was a Friday or Saturday evening which meant I definitely wanted to be knee deep in the strongest distraction possible for as long as possible. So I met up with people who didn’t genuinely care about me so we could connect over the one thing we all had in common, getting numb, I mean having a good time.

The thing about partying hard is you start to pay less and less attention to what’s going on around you, things get sloppy. That’s exactly what we did, we got sloppy enough to get comfortable doing illegal things out in the open and a cop car pulled right up next to ours. I remember this moment like it was yesterday: smoking my cigarette a little slower in the back seat, feeling my heart rate blaring in my ears, wondering if we would really get caught or he’d just drive away. He didn’t.

Within a few moments we were instructed to get out of the car and separate. It was 15 degrees in February and I had a basketball tournament next weekend, I remember thinking my coach is gonna murder me. My parents will be shattered.

But to me the craziest part of all of this is that I couldn’t have been more unfazed.

My purse was searched on the hood of the car while, my “friends” were being patted down, and I was waiting for a female cop to arrive for my pat down. While I stood there shivering, there was a moment where I had a very unique inner experience. Maybe it was an outer body, maybe I was just high, or maybe it was the first glimmer of self-awareness. All I remember thinking is “I should really care more about what’s happening but I really don’t.”

Imagine being a minor who got caught doing drugs outside, who may get arrested, have parents and coaches and teachers informed but just simply not caring.

That was my first realization of how good I had become at numbing myself to the world around me. There was no remorse or regret, I felt no guilt or anxiety about what happened next. In fact I was almost bothered by how my night was interrupted and my fix wasn’t satiated. BIG red flag.

In the end someone took the fall for the entire group and for the time being I was safe, lawfully. And while I didn’t suddenly cut ties with these people and cut out all of my toxic behaviors I couldn’t forget how much I didn’t care. I couldn’t escape the feeling that I should care more about my life, my self, my body, my emotions, and where the fuck I’ll end up if I don’t.

Making better choices didn’t happen overnight, it took a while because before changes happen awareness is a must. And becoming aware of the things you’ve invested ALL of your energy into running away from isn’t easy. It’s arguably the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do.

And so slowly, I became aware.
I became aware of the people I partied with, how they made me feel and what we had in common.
I became aware of the habits I’d gravitate toward when things got hard and how easy it was to forget.
I became aware of how I’d feel when the drugs wore off, how I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror anymore.
I became aware of the double life I had been living to keep up appearances while slowly and secretly hating myself on the inside.

The more I noticed what was happening the harder it became to keep it happening. There wasn’t some sudden blissful moment of clarity where I knew the type of person I wanted to be. Instead, for me, it was little moments or awareness building on top of one another to paint a picture of the road I was heading down. The clearer that road became the more I had to face the responsibility of walking that road without the blinders.

And I learned that everything is hard. It’s hard to run away and it’s hard to face what you’re running from. So really it all comes down to which hard you’re willing to choose but before that even happens, you have to accept that all of this is a choice. Whether you’ve been actively choosing or doing so unconsciously, the choice is still yours.

If you’re in a really dark place or running from the hard stuff and running toward the numbing “good time”, take a look around. Open your eyes to what you’re doing, who you’re doing it with, and how it really makes you feel. Start taking into account the long term effects on your mind, body, and spirit if you don’t start paying attention.

Wherever you are in life is a great place to start. You need nothing more or less in order for you to wake up to how things are going. Just look around, take your head out of the sand, stop numbing your way through and give yourself the chance to feel something because you matter.

Please, please start acting like you do.

Uncategorized

It’s Okay to Start Over

Posted on May 21, 2023 by Sabrina Renee

For the past week I’ve been bringing more intention to my day. From noticing what I’m putting into my body, making sure I get outside more often, actually having a meditation practice, hydrating the proper amount for someone who’s breastfeeding.

All of these things I’ve at some point in my life were second nature, some I had even mastered (except for the hydration while breastfeeding) only to be approaching them as a beginner once again. It’s incredibly easy to become overwhelmed with where I want to be, rather than focused on where to start, especially if I’m stuck on how it used to be.

Stuck focused on how well balanced things were, how consistent I once was, how easy some of this used to be. That’s a recipe for never taking a step forward because you’re too busy trying to recreate the past without accepting the present.

The more awareness is brought to my day to day activity the more I need to practice having grace with myself. Because the truth about living an intentional life is that you first have to notice.

Notice what’s working for you.
Notice what’s benefitting you.
Notice where your priorities lie.
Notice the quality of life you are living.

And then own it all.

Taking ownership is avoided by most people because initially it’s terribly uncomfortable. To face all that you are not, all the places you haven’t yet gotten to, all the behaviors you still unconsciously or willingly choose, these are the things that aid to your demise. These are the choices that bring you further from who you ultimately desire to be.

Taking ownership is hard but so is repeating the same loop of patterns that keep you small, frustrated, or stuck. Every road will offer a hard obstacle that needs to be faced. It’s all about deciding which challenge is worth your time, which challenge will you benefit from, which one is hard now but fruitful in the long run.

If these words are tugging at your heart strings, you already know what you need to own up to. Before you talk yourself out of facing the uncomfortable parts of yourself I encourage you to take a moment and reflect. Look back at this moment from the eyes of your future self, the most successful, happy, healthy, loving, and carefree version of yourself.

If that is even too challenging for you PAUSE.
Meet yourself where you are.
Notice any judgment that comes up.
Practice extending some grace and compassion within.
Then take the time to figure out what success, happiness, health, love, and being carefree would mean to you.

Do this over and over and over again. This is intentional living at it’s finest.

Now it could be ten years down the line, 1 year, a month, or maybe even next week. The amount of time doesn’t matter as much as the visualizing itself does. Stand in that future moment and reflect back on this one with gratitude, knowing you’ve made it out of the trenches, started from scratch and built a life you’re proud of.

Stand in the emotional state of what your ideal life feels like. Is it joyous? Content? Fun? Whatever description suits you, practice standing in that feeling. Then ask yourself these three questions:

What behaviors did I let go of to get here?
What thoughts helped me strengthen my self-worth/confidence?
What choices shaped the person I am today?

Let the answers surface organically. Force nothing. Allow your future self to guide you with ease.
The more you practice standing in the moments experienced by your ideal future self, the more clear each of these answers will become.

This week’s insight is that I’m starting over in fitness, nutrition, creativity, being an entrepreneur, all of it. IfI let it, the thoughts on being a beginner will overwhelm me into not taking any action. But I’m reminded that ownership is only uncomfortable initially, if it continues to be it’s because I’m choosing not to move forward.

This week my intention is to move forward with the knowledge I have, standing on the stepping stones of all the times I’ve started over, and allowing ownership be empowering instead of overwhelming.

May you have the courage to move forward even when it’s uncomfortable.

I promise your future self is worth it.