When I was deeply into my spiritual practice, there was a phrase I’d chant to bring me into alignment. I’d light a candle, sit on the cushion in front my my altar, close my eyes and tune in.
“Surrender my ego for my soul’s purpose so that I may receive what’s meant for me.”
It’s been a while since I’ve sat in front of that altar or had a formal practice of any kind since entering motherhood, but that phrase has stayed fresh in my mind. That phrase is the prayer I lean on when I’m expecting maturity or silence from my babies. It grounds me into the understanding that life does not unfold in all the ways I believe it should-that’s the ego talking. Instead, life constantly offers opportunities for me to live purposefully, as long as I surrender my agenda.
This week’s BLOOM theme is all about the expression of the universe through day to day life. I’ve been reading Becoming Supernatural by Dr Joe Dispenza for the 5th time, only this time I’m consistently applying the practices. In just a few days of shifting my attitudes and thoughts about where I’ve been struggling, there have been incredible changes. And I’m not saying these problems have vanished, even more powerful, they’ve stopped being problems!
What stands out as the biggest blessing this week is my will to create change when I recognize it’s necessary. It may not be immediate but when there is an intuitive pull in my life informing me that I’m misaligned, or traveling down a path of fear and doubt, I heed the call. Each time it looks different but this week it looks like practicing a mindset shift during low energy moments, reminding myself that instead of yelling I can speak calmy, instead of silencing the alarm I can whisper “thank you,” as I lift my head off the pillow, instead of stressing about lack of sleep I can remember what a blessing it is to have a healthy vocal baby laying in bed next to me keeping me on my toes. My biggest blessing this week is not just my willingness to do the thing I know needs to get done, it’s the attitude I bring when I decide to show up.
The lesson that’s shining through for me this week is the power of surrender. It’s one of those things that I’ve read about a million times in self-help and personal development books, something I’ve understood and accepted logically for years. However, this week I’m experiencing the results of consistently surrendering the tight and tense feelings in my body for relaxation and calm. Which translates to me noticing that my body is reacting to a negative thought I’m having, which is causing me to contract in my body. Therefore, the lesson I’m continuously learning is the more that I tune in to how I’m feeling the more control I can take over what I’m thinking and guide it where I’d like to go, and choose how I’d like to feel.
The obstacle I’m facing the most this week is my own damn self, more specifically my pride. There are certain ways I’ve expected myself to behave in motherhood, or life in general, that I’ve needed to adjust. It’s easy to have expectations before life actually unfolds and while I know that logically, the emotions of what I believe “should be” occurring can really overpower my senses. And this ties into the lesson of surrender because the tighter I hold onto “the should” the further I become from what is, the more unnecessary stress I create in my world.
As a result of my lesson on surrender and obstacles with pride, the opportunities I’ve been seeking are to change my mindset each time I encounter a negative thought. Which of course first requires noticing my thoughts at all followed by the will to shift it, no matter how strong the current is. This week’s negative thoughts were about the way others were showing up and how frustrated it made me feel. But there’s no use in focusing on what I can’t control, so I sought opportunities to shift my thoughts toward how I could respond rather than react and it helped remind me I have a choice-always.
This week a lot of momentum was being generated toward attracting my highest and greatest good and I’m real proud of that. It takes a lot of work to reprogram my thinking and I’m the only one who can do it, so I’m showing up and it feels good. Momentum looks like waking up to go to the gym after 4 hours of interrupted sleep, choosing kindness over crankiness when I’m running on reserves, pausing during the good moments to soak them in so that the bad moments don’t have as much power over me. Moving into next week I’d like to build on that momentum by planning things ahead of time to bring the energy of preparation, anticipation, and consistency into my days.
Thankful for another week of reflection and intention. Cheers to choosing gratitude and awareness again and again.
mindfullybri.com 