It’s the third week of the new year, entering the fourth, and I’ve decided to bring back my weekly BLOOM check-ins. Too many months have passed since I sat down to review my week, reflect on my attitudes, and make a conscious effort to move forward with intention.
Last year was probably the hardest one I’ve lived to date and as a result I ended up in a real dark place. Between being postpartum and grieving my parents there were so many emotions flooding me all the time that I started to avoid them.
My body was withering, my mind was wandering, my soul was whispering for me to come back home. It took months to even hear the whisper but ultimately it became louder than the urge to neglect my needs. So here I am.
It’s officially been 6 weeks since I started taking care of myself again. Going to the gym 3 times a week, waking up early to meditate, reading books about spiritual evolvement, and hydratining more-still not enough water but I’m making progress nontheless.
Now that I’ve built momentum while discovering my identity I’m ready to hold myself even more accountable for my actions, and the best way I know how is to BLOOM weekly.
This week’s intention was clarity.
As I was walking on the treadmill to cool down after my workout Monday morning I asked myself “Okay Sabrina what’s the day looking like?” And it dawned on me that was the first time in a very long time I had really considered how I want to show up in my day.
And I had no idea. I mean aside from the mom responsibilities I tend to daily and the chores at home that need to be done, I didn’t have a focal point for myself-which is the whole point of this journey. I lost myself in my roles and relationships to others, buried so deep I forgot I’m an individual underneath it all.
So I decided to gain some clarity by asking myself some introspective questions and journaling my responses. Writing out answers to questions like “what’s my purpose” and “who do I want to surround myself with” and “what legacy do I want to be remembered for?”, all helped me realize that I wasn’t as far gone as I had thought. I just wasn’t checking in.
The more questions I ask the more clarity I’ll have to take the next step toward who I am becoming. Now on to the important questions.
What was the biggest BLESSING shinning through the week?
My body and all that it’s capable of doing.
This week I was able to increase reps and weight at the gym, something I fantasized about while pregnant with my second son. I couldn’t wait to challenge my body again, do a HIIT workout, practice push-ups and lift heavy weights. I’m so thankful for how far this body has taken me and how far we’re going to continue going.
What was the biggest obstacle on the path this week?
The struggle that kept holding me back was my frustration and lack of patience with my kids. Whether someone was whining or taking a toy from the other, or procrastinating bedtime while sharing stories of their day in jibberish, it all felt really hard to hold. At one point my husband and I couldn’t even have a conversation because the talking/playing/crying was so loud we couldn’t hear each other.
What was the opportunity you sought for healing, growth, or expansion?
Each time I lost my cool, or the few times I caught myself before doing so, I’d notice where I was holding tension in my body and release it. Tight shoulders? Exhale and release. Clenching my jaw? Exhale and release. Even tension I held in thought form tightened my face and when I recognized it I made an effort to let it go. Over and over and over and over again.
What is one way you can build momentum moving into the next week?
I’d like to build momentum toward being a more patient and kind mother, not just when it’s easy. The purpose of my early morning gym and meditation sessions was to refill my cup. It’s been AMAZING to prioritize myself again and now it’s time to practice finding harmony with who I am to others as well.
A simple way to build momentum is to cut the distractions so I can practice presence; finding one on one moments with each of my boys and devoting my undivided attention towards their favorite toy or book. A priceless gift that expands us all.
It feels really good to be checking in with myself today. I hope you carve out the time to do the same ❤️
mindfullybri.com 