InnerWork

Monthly Highlights: January 2023

Posted on January 30, 2023January 30, 2023 by Sabrina Renee

January is the final month of maidenhood as I’m a few days shy from my due date. Not only does it feel like this pregnancy has gone by so quickly, but also the start of this year feels like it’s moving at lightning speed. To think any day now my newborn will be in my arms just blows me away.

The days ahead may be blurry. As the saying goes the days are long but the years are short, that’s a wild concept to consider. My goal as a parent is to be as present as possible but as a first-time mom, I also understand most of my learning happens on the job and so being present may prove more trying than realistic.

In an attempt to make the most of this life-changing year, I’ve been journaling each day to savor the most precious moments. Writing has always been my favorite form of release, communication, and reflection especially when done consistently. Usually, I bite off more than I can chew, but this year I’ve found the sweet spot of answering 3 simple questions at the end of every day:

What excited me today?
What exhausted me today?
What did I learn today?

Each month of 2023 I’d like to share the highlights of my life with you, the exciting ones, the exhausting ones, and the ones that offered me lessons to take forward. Partially because it’s important to me that I maintain my love for writing, even if it’s simple journaling. But also I love sharing my experience with those interested, especially as I embark on new territory with mindful intentions. So here are my highlights of January and what I’ve taken from them.

Highlights of Excitement in January

Getting a bedframe for the first time in 5 years
My husband and I are minimalist by nature, or maybe just lazy I’m not sure, either way we don’t need much to be happy. We’ve lived together for 5 years going on 6 and this month bought our first bed frame. Until now we’ve had a mattress on the floor and have had no complaints.

However, since I’ll be having a baby any day now we’ve been preparing for the postpartum period and all the ways to create comfort and support for me and baby. The more I thought about getting out of bed with my knees higher than my hips the more I realized it was time for a bed frame. It has been a HUGE change, I’m not used to being so high off the ground but it’s been an amazing improvement for the multiple bathroom runs throughout the night.

My father’s 72nd birthday
My family lives a little over an hour away and ver since hitting 9 months of pregnancy I stopped taking long trips outside of town. So although I wasn’t able to physically see him, hug him, and grab a slice of ice cream cake, what a blessing it was to call my father on his 72nd birthday this year.

It’s exciting for all the obvious reasons, celebrating life is always exciting. But this year is super special for me because my baby will have a grandfather, something I didn’t have the priveledge of growing up. The thought of my little one making precious memories with him in the garden or listening to old school wisdom swells my heart.

My grandmother’s 95th birthday
A few days after my father’s birthday is his mother’s, my grandmother’s, and this year she turned 95. That entire week felt like on gigantic blessing to be celebrating so many decades of life. My grandma lives in North carolina and it’s been nearly a year since I’ve seen her, I really miss her.

Thankfully she’s surrounded by love all the time and never alone. Her friends and family threw her a party with upwords of 120 people showing up to shower her with gifts, loving speeches, and gratitude for all that she’s offered throughout the years. My grandma’s heart is so pure, I can’t wait for my baby to experience all of that love.

Washing my newborn’s clothes
Those tiny socks and mittens are honestly too cute to explain. The smell, the size, the cute little designs. My heart began to swell. I wasn’t ready for how emotional it would make me to wash, dry, and fold those little outfits.

It allowed me to start fantasizing about late night feedings and getting them dressed in the morning, as I started to pack a diaper caddy that will sit next to my bedside. As I counted and organized the clothes according to months I prayed for time to slow down just a little bit. This baby isn’t even here yet and yet it all feels like it’s going too fast.

Purchasing home-birth materials
I’m so excited to be setting up our home-birth essentials in the baby’s room. We’ve got the tub and hose ready to be used, positive affirmations ready to be written on a giant white board, and the essential oil diffuser ready to set the tone. All that’s left is the set up when the time comes. I’m in no rush but I am getting eager.

Highlights of Exhaustion in January

Starting the year off with the worst congestion
The most frustrating part of this year was starting it off so congested that I couldn’t breathe through BOTH nostrils. I literally pulled back to back all nighters because laying down felt like drowning, and I couldn’t find comfort with my big belly. On top of the congestion I had a few hours of Braxton hicks contractions that I had to mouth breathe through, would not recommend, but you do what you’ve got to. Although the congestion hasn’t gone away 100% I have since become very grateful to breahe through both nostrils again.

Releasing pent up resentment under the full moon
Two of my spiritual friends and I like to get together under full moons to align our energies with higher frequencies. This one was very important to me because it was the last one before I became a mom, and I’m not sure when we’ll be getting together again. Once we got together, lit the incense, and started sharing intentions, I began to feel lighter. I had no idea just how much heaviness, resentment, and anger I had been holding onto for so long.

The days that followed felt like being hungover, a healthy hangover where I had let go of burdens and baggage, but a hangover nonetheless. I was left with lots to think about, exhausted from all I was still letting go, and working to accept how to move forward from all of that. It was powerful, overall great for my spirit, but man it was exhausting.

Nesting non-stop for 3 days
From waking up with the urge to scrub a toilet all the way to my need to start freezing meatballs for postpartum, nesting hit me hard. It came in a strong wave and stayed for about 3 days before I suddenly crashed. It was empowering and exhausting all at once, and I hear it could come once more right before baby arrives. This time I’m ready for it.

Dealing with swelling of my legs and feet
One thing I wasn’t prepared for was the swelling of my lower body. Swelling is one thing but the “fluffy discomfort” that accompanies the swelling really threw me. I’d describe it as having server’s feet, if you’ve ever worked in a restaurant setting you know what I’m talking about.

The crazy thing is I didn’t need to be on my feel for hours or do strenuous work. This exhaustion was challenging to get around because it was simply apart of pregnancy, something to work with, accept, and learn to rest through. I guess this doubles as a lesson learned too.

Working through 12 hours of promordal labor contractions
This sounds more painful than it actually was, it felt more uncomfortable and inconvenient than anything. What was exhausting was being awake for it the entire time and not being able to sleep the next day. It was interesting to feel the waves varry in intensity, time, duration, move from my abdomen to my back, and suddenly subside. It was like a dresss rehearsal of what could be expected, but from what I understand x10.

Highlights of Learnings in January

The importance of slowing down for my mind and body
I (re)learned that slowing down is a precious gift to give myself, one that continues to serve me long after I’ve begun to pick up the pace again. Whether it’s to slow down and take a deep breath during a challenging moment, or slowing down my body after a lot of activity, it’s the choice itself that I keep learning from.

I keep learning that I have the option to slow down, that urgency may be my first go to but it doesn’t have to be the end decision. Each time I slow down I remind myself that I can always slow down, it’s always a choice, and it’s always MY choice to make, no one else’s.

There is someone on the otherside of the anger I feel
As I began to release anger and resentment under the full moon I realized how strong that hold was over me. I was holding on so tightly to how wrong someone else was, how much they were hurting me, and how their actions were impacting those around them.

What I wasn’t thinking of was the person on the otherside of my anger and resentment, what they may be feeling and going through. The more I humanized the person the less power those emotions had over me. My resentment didn’t fade entirely but it doesn’t control me anymore.

Consistency is truly a superpower when it comes to making an impact
Each week this year I’ve been emailing my subscribers which may not seem like alot but I’ve really struggled with consistency in the past. As a result I’ve had a couple of people reach out in gratitude for what I’ve been sharing.

It’s been reassuring that when I stick to something there’s someone on the otherside building an expectation to receive from me. Instead of allowing that to transform into overwhelming pressure, I’m learning to allow that to help me sustain my consistency. Rather than striving for perfection each week my goal is progress, to keep showing up as I am even when it’s not pretty.

My husband is the best support system I could ask for
During the most painful, uncomfortable, and challenging moments of my 9th month of pregnancy my husband jumped into action. This isn’t something that surprises me at all but I’m learning just how supportive he could really be. Doing the heavy lifting, putting the dishes away, putting together the baby furniture-these are things I expected.

But sitting on the floor in the bathroom with me, rubbing my back through the contractions, buying my favorite ice cream without prompting, these took me by surprise. I learned he really wants to support me in anyway he can. I decided to make a word doc with suggestions to take out the guess work so when it’s crunch time and I’m focused on my breathing, he’ll have a little cheatsheet.

Time For You To Reflect

This simple practice has helped me reconnect with what’s important in my life and allowed me to start practicing gratitude for the little things each day. I’m a firm believer that the little things one day become the big things by snowball effect, and I’m really excited to look back each month on just how much life changes each day.

May this monthly highlight blog invite you to become curious about the life you’re living, what feels good, what drains your energy, and overall what lessons you’re learning along the way. Life is being lived whether you pay attention or not, but the more you pay attention the less it feels like it’s slipping away. This way you’re actually living it with your eyes wide open.

Start where you are, with how you’re feeling, and all that’s going on within you. It’s a perfect time.

Mindfulness, Weekly Insights

Finding Gratitude and Practicing Presence

Posted on January 15, 2023 by Sabrina Renee

Nesting Intuitively

Each day this week my morning started with a strong urge to deep clean something. From the moment I opened my eyes I found myself imagining how satisfying it would be to transform a space from dirty to clean, from disorganized to everything having its home. One day it was the bathroom, from the toilet to the shower, another day it was the kitchen from the countertops to the pantry. Scrubbing, sweeping, slowly cleansing my space and transmuting the energy all around it.

There’s something so magical about having the energy and motivation to complete something that’s been on your mind, even if it only recently popped in. Cleaning is one of the most tangible ways to practice energy work because you’re quite literally transforming a space, the energy in it, and the items that occupy it. Everything is energy and if you bring intention to whatever it is you do, anything can become an offering.

There’s a palpable change in the environment when that happens, and when you can bring mindful awareness of what’s being moved, thrown away, cleaned thoroughly, or properly placed it’s like you’re waving the magic wand of change.

That’s what nesting has felt like to me and it’s been a lot of fun.

Exhausting but fun.

Exhausting because it’s coming in waves of urges that I can’t seem to suppress or logically wish away. So during the moments when I’ve attempted to tell myself “just relax you can get some of this tomorrow,” there’s a loud inner voice that instantly responds “let’s just see how much we can accomplish now.”

It’s been interesting, however, to maneuver this energy work with a big belly and swollen limbs. There are absolutely times when my body is speaking louder than my thoughts and forces me into a nap, or at least sitting down in between tasks. And believe me, I listen.

It’s been a loud reminder that intuition isn’t always woo-woo. Sometimes it’s incredibly practical, it offers guidance that you know is best for you but maybe you’ve been too distracted to listen.

Somewhere in between reorganizing the pantry and elevating my swollen ankles, there’s a voice of wisdom guiding me throughout my day. After more than half a year of transformation and change grounding me into the physical realm, it’s been pleasant to feel my intuitive senses reignite within me. Whether it’s coming in the form of nesting for my sweet babe’s arrival, or suddenly feeling like an open channel with the ability to write for three hours straight, I’m grateful, I’m open, I’m willing to be guided.

Finding gratitude in the lack of control

This week I’m grateful for the bursts of energy that have been followed by the inevitable winddown. From starting off my day like a firecracker, with focus and intention on specific tasks that are calling me, to the hot shower and red raspberry leaf tea routine at night, these moments are sculpting something beautiful in my home.

In an incredibly physical way, all these little moments are teaching me the importance of balance, the feeling of doing and being, listening and taking action. More importantly, it’s helping me understand the balance of that which I can control and that which never was in my control. When I tune into the rhythms of my intuition and the direction it’s guiding me each day, I become more trusting of the universal wisdom that is all around me. For all of the lessons I’ve learned, there are another thousand I have yet to learn, and that’s such a wonder.

Each time I follow my intuition the universe ushers me closer to where I’m meant to be, all while miracles and shifts are taking place behind the scenes, most of which I’ll never even know about. Something as small as following the “urge” or “inkling” to clean my kitchen countertop could be the smallest step in a larger vision unfolding for me. And the more I listen the deeper I establish trust in what’s to come. The more I trust in what’s unfolding the easier it will be to practice gratitude for it all, not just what I believe is working out or in what I am in control of, but for the unseen unknown parts of my life as well.

These days I’m finding gratitude in the unknown because I’m faithfully falling in love with this next chapter way before I know what’s written. I’m choosing to be grateful rather than be worried because the vibration is higher and honestly it just feels better. Even if I’m blissfully unaware of what’s to come at least I’m choosing to do so from a positive standpoint. I’m choosing to surrender the illusion of control for the belief that something greater has my back. So while admitting there will always be areas of life I can’t control, I’m also willing to accept the areas I can-like my thoughts, my mindsets, and my beliefs about what’s on the other side of the unknown chapter.

And that, my friend, is the greatest power any of us can harness.

How I’m Practicing Presence

I’m at the point in my pregnancy where the baby can come in the next 5 days or 5 weeks and still be considered in the realm of healthy. It’s easy to get wrapped up in wondering when things are going to start to happen, looking for all the signs, and listening to the old wives’ tales about which gender the baby will be. And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t swept up in those “what-ifs” every now and then. But the truth is this is the ultimate unknown territory and as a mindfulness teacher it’s the greatest curriculum I’ve come across yet.

Not knowing what motherhood looks like, not knowing exactly when my child will come earthside, now knowing how it’ll feel or what to expect, it’s the perfect opportunity to remain open. There will always be moments when worry or doubt creep in and in those moments they’ll be brief pauses between the thoughts that follow. In those pauses, I see the string of narratives created in my mind and recognize when I’ve gotten lost in the thick of it all, allowing the unknown to consume me rather than cultivate curiosity and openness.

It’s interesting, you can try and plan every detail of how something will go but the truth is everything is unknown. Sometimes it feels like that’s how the media and society promote pregnancy, as something to prepare for from the nursery and toys to the schedules and types of parenting. But as a first-time parent, I’m becoming a brand new version of myself that I’ll have to learn and figure out as I go. And that’s okay. Planning is okay and so is not knowing it all, making room for both I believe is key.

Something as transformational and unpredictable as pregnancy can really drive home the point of not being in control, while simultaneously teaching me all the ways I am.

I can control my breathing when it’s time to calm down.

I can control whether I move my body or whether I allow myself to rest.

I can control whether I fuss over when the baby will arrive or whether I chose to be present.

I’m incorporating mindfulness practice by focusing my energy where I actually have a say while calling energy back from all of the worry and doubt that drains me.

To be present doesn’t necessarily mean to feel pleasant. It doesn’t mean I have to enjoy what’s currently unfolding or have control over it by any means. Presence, rather, is the choice to be here now, no matter what. To practice presence is to be where my feet are, to observe my thoughts, to notice my attitudes and body language, and the energy I’m offering at this moment.

It’s only in the present moment that I can recognize the ways my mind is driving me to nest, or when my body is begging me to take a break from moving so much, or when it’s time to hydrate and take some deep breaths. Life is happening in the present moment always, never in the past or the future, so each time I notice myself worrying or planning or assuming I know what comes next, I remember I’m not living. I’m oscillating between thoughts of the past and the future, constantly ignoring what the present is currently offering.

The beauty of this practice is that it’s a practice, meant to be revisited consistently. The present moment doesn’t take it personally when I’ve been lost in thought, instead, it invites me back in with grace and compassion. It invites me with a deep inhale and a slow exhale.

To embrace what is.

To be here.

To notice.

To allow.

What is the present moment offering you right now?

What is it inviting you to experience?

MindBody, Weekly Insights

A Journey From Maiden to Mother

Posted on January 8, 2023January 21, 2023 by Sabrina Renee

Moments of Transition

The past few weeks have brought on more tightness, tension, pangs of discomfort and even douses of pain than I remember experiencing before. While my tolerance for pain is quite high I’ve also never had to endure it so consistently for such an extended and unforeseen specific amount of time. As my body prepares to give birth in the next four weeks or so I’m being stretched beyond limits I onced perceived for myself, a true time of growth and expansion. From restless legs and pelvic pain to getting up to pee multiple times and finding it impossible to get back to sleep, I’ve begun to experience life through a different lens. One of transition from what once was to what will be, more importantly how it all is right now.

This transition isn’t one that took place over night, or even just over the past 9 months. In fact, I’d argue it started a few years ago, the moment my husband and I decided starting a family was going to soon be a priority. Back in 2020 when the world began to change in unprecidented ways we both felt called to share with one another the visions we saw for the future. That discussion consisted of what type of parents we wanted to be, the values in which we’d raise our children with, the intention we’d pour into ourselves to welcome this chapter into our lives, and the type of environment all of this would take place.

For the next two years the goal was to turn inward and get curious about the parts of us that were longing to grow. Individually we assesssed the values important to us and the goals we wanted to pursue before conception like health, nutrition, spirituality, healing, and other paths of maturity. Now, this isn’t to say we decided on the perfect time to concevive, I don’t believe any of us has the power to play God in that sense. But we did decide that an important part of conception was the intention that came before, the life we cultivated beforehand, and the energies we were planning to merge to create life.

For two years healing, maturity, love, and learning, and unlearning, were a priority both individually and collectively.

For two years we dove into becoming the greatest versions of ourselves, establishing deeper connections to our ideal selves and inching closer to them each day.

For two years we leveled up before ever “trying” to have a baby.

I’m so grateful this was our path.

But I’m also reminded of how mutlifaceted transition truly is. Shifts into who we are becoming start in subtle ways, most of the time before we are even paying attention and long after we’ve begun to see. This helps ground me into perspective in moments when my joints are achy and my legs are so swollen it hurts to walk. It reminds me this is yet another shift in transition.

And sure maybe it isn’t as glamorous as working out, eating healthy, or learning deeper self-love practices. But I’m also reminded that those moments weren’t always the most fun either. It felt good to share my life vision with my life partner, to talk about our desires and dreams about the future, but the work that came after wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. It was two years of leaving no stone unturned so that I could face my inner world head on and heal the blocks that stood in the way of becoming my greatest self.

Transition isn’t meant to feel good all the time, it’s meant to uproot and redefine. So I’d like to believe these false contractions and sleepless nights are wonderful opportunities to help me continue to expand, pushing me toward the culmination of all my past efforts. The more I practiced shifting my mindset from “why is this happened?” to “this is happening because…” the less personal and painful it feels, and the more I’m willing to be with what’s happening rather than focus on my opinions about it all.

Being Okay With How Things Are

A struggle I faced this week is not feeling grateful 100% of the time about being pregnant. Even feeling the urge to complain about my physical discomforts and the ease of living that had been taken away. On a particularly challenging day where the baby’s head pushed deeper and deeper into my pelvis I sighed loud and said “JUST COME OUT ALREADY!” Almost immediately I felt awful, and here’s why.

Now maybe that doesn’t sound like the craziest thing to say to you but to me it felt like I committed the ultimate sin: not being grateful to be pregnant. To me, saying that was like saying I’m over this, I dont want to do this anymore, I’m tired and just want this to end already. And in that moment maybe it was my truth. My frustrated, exhausted, impatient truth.

I came down so hard on myself for not feeling enthused about being pregnant anymore and for finally giving into the urge to complain about the discomforts in my body. Expressing my truth felt like trading in my immense gratitude for a heaping pile of guilt because I “shouldn’t” be feeling anything less than joyous every moment of everyday of this pregnancy.

As my emotions cooled down, and my loving husband comforted my hormonal self, I began to see cleary that there were lots of expectations at play. The reason I came down so hard on myself for feeling that way was because I expected myself to feel a different way, all the time, everyday, no matter what this transition brought into my experience.

It’s funny, recently I was explaining the word perspective to my 5 year old niece after a conversation about change being hard, especially when we want things to go our way and they don’t. We talked about how perspective gives us a chance to see things differently and that different isn’t always bad. Sometimes, if we’re open to how things change, we may find a new even better way of looking at things, if we’re willing to try. And as I was simplfying this concept to her I realized how much more complicated I was making my own life.

It’s easy to want things to be particular.

It’s hard to accept that life changes.

It’s even harder to hold onto what we want as life is already changing.

Sometimes it’s just about choosing the road of least resistance.

Sometimes choosing to accept the change is a lighter load than holding onto how we wish things were.

And in those moments we accept ourselves as we are, adding a little more self-love and a little less judgment to our lives.

Accepting Life As It Is

Daily mindful living is a mantra in my home, an intentional lifestyle choice fused into how we move about the day. It’s been a refreshing challenge to welcome that way of navigating life into pregnancy. The beauty of mindfulness is that the principles apply no matter who you are, what you’re going through, or how it’s making you feel. But in my experience it’s been exceptionally powerful during trying moments that test your patience, faith, and belief. So it’s safe to say practicing mindfulness throughout pregnancy is a wonderful training ground for parenthood that’s soon to follow.

Acceptance and non-judgment are the attitudes that have come up for me most recently. These are the attitudes and lenses in which I’m anchoring into during challenging moments. I’d like to believe each of the attitudes feed off of one another but in particular acceptance and non-judgment are joined at the hip. Because once you’ve accepted life as it is you can recognize the judgment you’ve been passing about it. On the flip side, once you’ve recognized how much you judge your experience or circumstance, you can begin to accept what is rather than focusing on your opinions about how it makes you feel or how it should be.

Anchoring into these attitudes, along with any other mindfulness practice, is just that, a pratice. It’s implying that you’ll never truly master these ways of being and that’s the point. To continue coming back to apply what you learned last time and the time before that so you can choose to expand your consciousness once more, open your heart once more, open your mind once more. Mindfulness is a simple and profound in that it releases the unneccessary while inviting expansion.

Expansion.

That’s a reoccuring theme for me.

Physically, emotionally, spirutally, even on a cellular level, expansion has been happening within me for quite some time.

Maybe that’s one of the many miracles giving birth is meant to teach, how to expand beyond this version to create the next.

To expand from maiden to mother, from one archetype to the next, never able to shrink back to who you once were with a brand new capacity to hold what’s meant for you.

What a terrifyingly empowering thought that I will never be the same again.

As I enter the week ahead I leave behind my opinions of how it “should” be, what things are “supposed” to feel like, and how I “think” life should be moving. And instead I’ll practice anchoring into accepting what is, noticing judgments, releasing the heavy burdens of the unneccesary and tune in to what’s right in front of me. The expansion of my being, my body, my soul. It’ll be a trippy ride to reflect on one day, but imagine how powerful it’ll be to present to the push and pull of it all, right here right now.

May you choose to live mindfully in anyway you can this week.

Start small, start now, just start.

Mindfulness, Personal Growth

How to Be Okay With Change

Posted on September 19, 2022September 19, 2022 by Sabrina Renee

Expectations are a two-way street.

Expectations are the root of suffering. Without them, there would be no story to compare the present circumstance to, no other way it should have gone, and no ideal version of what could be happening if things were different.

Expectations invite more suffering by perpetuating narratives of what’s changed and what didn’t occur, taking us further away from accepting what is. And further away you move from acceptable, the further from the present moment you become.

It’s natural to create expectations for ourselves and hold them for others. Expecting life to unfold in a particular way, people to behave accordingly, or treat you in a certain way because that’s what you would do, or how you’ve always received something. It happens, humans are creatures of habit which ultimately leads to assumptions.

The thing is, people are constantly seeing life through their own unique lens, one which is cultivated by different memories, experiences, and beliefs. Two people can be looking at the same exact scenario while seeing things from completely different perspectives because of the hue of their lens.

One can see problems where another sees opportunities. Expectations are no different; where you expect something to happen you can also invite a fresh perspective to welcome change.

Inviting Suffering Unknowingly

There is a connection between what is causing you suffering right now and an expectation that has been placed upon someone or something. When something happens, someone hurts you, something didn’t go right, chances are there’s an expectation that things “should” have gone differently, better, a particular way you’d imagined in your mind.

The deeper you dig into the narrative of what should have happened, the further away you pull from alignment and the present moment. If you’re constantly focusing on circumstances of the past that can’t be changed, on people and places that can’t be controlled, or stories the mind creates, you’re wasting precious energy.

But by choosing to recognize the expectations you’re holding onto, the ones that hold you back from being with changes unfolding now, you’re moving with the current flow of energy. Instead of focusing on what could have been, you’re standing in what already is, and that’s the place decisions are made.

Dropping expectations isn’t easy, but it is possible once you begin to notice where they have a hold on you. If you’re gripping onto a story rather than reality, focusing on opinions rather than facts, clinging onto the way you believe things need to go rather than accepting the way things are, you’re going against the ebb and flow of life.

When you find yourself holding onto what isn’t and pushing away what is, it’s time to drop expectations because they’re not serving you.

Learning to Be Okay With Change

The only constant you can count on is change. Change from within, change all around, change from the people in your lives. Time is always moving forward and although you don’t have to accept that truth, it doesn’t stop it from being true.

Just because you grip tightly to what once was doesn’t mean it still is, it simply means you haven’t moved into the present moment and have decided to hold onto past expectations. That’s what it means to live a life of resistance.

Deciding to be okay with change doesn’t necessarily mean you’re comfortable with it, or even that the change is something you’ve wanted. Being okay with change is less about your opinion of it and more about acknowledging reality as it shows up. Whether you choose to respond with resistance or acceptance change is inevitable, but the prolonged suffering that accompanies that change is entirely up to you.

There are plenty of opportunities that come up in your life to drop expectations. You’ll begin to notice them once you recognize all of the expectations already set in motions, the ones you hold for yourself, others, and life in general. Some expectations get so deeply embedded that it becomes something you identify it, that’s where the challenges come in.

It’s simple, but not easy. It’s possible but difficult. You’re either rooted in what’s expected or moving toward alignment, and you can always choose again.

How to Notice Change and Expectations

To sum up, there are two states of mind this blog focuses on: autopilot and mindfulness. The difference between the two is clear: mindfulness is to bring your presence to something, to pay attention, whereas autopilot is not paying attention or tuning out.

Autopilot isn’t a negative state of mind, but it is one that doesn’t require awareness. Without awareness there’s a lack of presence freeing up your thoughts and energy to be floating elsewhere. If you’re not bringing intention to what you’re doing, there’s a chance you’re just going through the motions.

To practice mindfulness is to bring awareness to those motions, those choices, those habits and day-to-day tasks. It’s not about doing anything differently, quicker or slower, but doing it with a sense of presence and awareness. Noticing what you’re doing and paying attention to how it’s done. This is the practice that will lead you to recognize expectations.

You can learn to be with discomforts rather than push them away.

You can learn to be where you are instead of the story in the thinking mind that should have unfolded.

You can learn to be okay with change instead of putting up a fight of resistance at every turn.

You can learn to recognize when expectations have their claws deep in your beliefs, so you can practice mindfulness, turn off the autopilot, and make deliberate choices that bring you closer to acceptance.

Being okay with change really means being with the change, rather than being with the thoughts of what “would have been” easier, simpler, better, etc. To be okay with change is to be with what is, to be with what is present in your life.

The more you practice noticing your automatic habits, choices, and movements throughout the day, the more opportunities to practice mindfulness will surface. It’s in these moments of mundane everyday instinctual choices that you can invite intention and a fresh pair of eyes.

The difference between autopilot and mindfulness is your presence, a shift that happens in an instant, a choice that’s always within you. May you have the courage to make that choice today and may it bring you closer to a more peaceful version of yourself.

**Check out the full live stream on Dropping Expectations and Being Okay With Change**

Mindfulness, Practices

Overcoming Distraction with Mindfulness

Posted on September 4, 2022September 11, 2022 by Sabrina Renee

Are you struggling to overcome the distractions showing up in your day-to-day? Have trouble staying focused because your thoughts are pulling you in multiple directions? Finding it difficult to keep your attention on what’s in front of you?

In the world of smartphones, social media, and instant gratification, you are surrounded by an infinite number of distractions. Beyond the screens of entertainment and minute-by-minute updates, there’s also the issue of the untamed mind being programmed to swing from thought to thought.

It’s within the nature of the mind to wander, anticipate, think, or keep moving in some way or another. Rather than resisting the ebb and flow of your thoughts in times of distraction, it may be a more powerful practice to direct your attention outside the mind and into the body.

Noticing You’ve Become Distracted

All change starts with awareness, becoming aware of what is already happening or unfolding in the present moment. Shifting your attention from the mind and into the body first requires becoming mindfully aware of where your attention has been placed.

To be mindful of distraction is to notice it with acceptance of what’s caught your attention or how long you’ve been distracted; it’s letting go of expectations and assumptions about the process of learning to focus.

Distraction is the mind’s reaction to a lack of direction. If you want to focus you need to choose something to anchor your attention into. By tuning out of the thinking mind, which often moves at a rapid pace, and tuning into the body, which can be tangibly experienced through physical sensations, you are able to anchor your attention into a feeling or even the breath.

Grounding Into The Body

The mind may be where distraction takes place but the body is the vehicle that plays it all out. In other words, while the mind is taking you on trips to the past or into the future, the body is often left unattended in the present moment. If the mind wanders long enough it’ll find itself circling negative emotions, which elicit sensations of constriction or tension in the body.

For instance, when you have an anxiety-producing thought you may clench your fists or maybe it feels like your chest area got incredibly tight. This is the body’s response to your thinking. The longer you stay distracted in the mind, the further from grounding into the body.

Grounding begins with an anchor, the breath being a wonderful place to start mainly because it’s always waiting in the present moment for you. Paying attention to the breath is also a neutral focal point, an example of the ebb and flow that’s happening within your body. Whether you’re tuning in or not the breath will continue to flow, but it can offer great insight once you are paying attention.

Let’s go back to that anxiety-producing thought. Along with a tight chest and clenched muscles you may notice you haven’t exhaled in quite some time. If you are breathing you may notice it’s shallow and quick, rather than deep and smooth. The quality of your breath cycles, inhaling and exhaling, is an indicator of your levels of stress or calm.

Practice Tapping Into the 5 Senses Mindfully

While the breath is one of the most powerful and profound ways to choose focus over distraction, it also may be challenging for those who have never done breathwork or meditated before. Another way to ground into the body is to tune in through your 5 senses: touch, sight, smell, taste, and hearing.

This is a common practice offered to people suffering from high levels of anxiety as well as stress, frustration, or moments of overwhelm. By having a tangible and practical focus on each of the senses, it may be easier for you to shift from overthinking to simply paying attention to the present moment.

The beauty of this practice is that even if you ask yourself these same questions each time you feel overwhelmed, you’ll get different answers each time. Just like mindfulness, each moment is a fresh unfolding of something new.

Ask yourself the following questions changing the number of senses as you please:

What is one thing I taste right now?
What are two things I smell right now
What are three things I feel right now?
What are four things I hear right now?
What are five things I see right now?

By tuning into your senses you are automatically grounding into your bodily sensations. Your bodily sensations are leading you out of the thinking mind and into the here and now. It’s in the here and now that you can make shifts in your attention by deliberately deciding where to focus your energy, and making more focused choices.

Let’s Review

If you’re having difficulty focusing or battling distraction, you most likely won’t be able to think your way out of it. To do anything mindfully is to bring your full awareness to it, without judgment, anticipation, or expectation for things to be different. Therefore, choosing to become aware of what being distracted looks like for you is a good place to start.

Once you’ve noticed distraction in the mind you can also notice how it may be showing up in the body. For some, this may look like tension in the muscles, while for others it may show up as constricted sensations of tension. However distraction arises within the mind it’s a wonderful opportunity to become aware of the body. Rather than resisting the fluctuations of the mind, it’ll be more beneficial to bring attention toward the body and work from a practical focal point.

Grounding into the body can be done through the vehicle of the breath, which is always in the present moment, as well as tuning into the 5 senses. By asking yourself to bring your attention to what you can smell, hear, taste, touch, and see you’re more likely to overcome distraction because it’s happening in the mind. Although you may not keep distractions at bay for a long time through this technique, it will be long enough to interrupt the cycle and provide your mind with a direction of focus.

The 5 senses can be the path into knowing your body and listening to its wisdom on a deeper level. By practicing this exercise during moments of stress, frustration, or overwhelm you’ll be developing the muscle of direction, which will ultimately weaken the muscle of distraction in the mind. Rather than fighting your thoughts or trying to change the fast past thinking mind, tuning into the 5 senses is a great way to get to know the body with loving kindness.

Practicing mindful awareness of distraction isn’t about taking it away altogether, but choosing to recognize its hold on you so that you can make a more deliberate choice. Remember, peace is always one choice away, that choice is always yours to make, and that choice begins with self-awareness.