Tag: Growth

Posted in Healing

Before Inner Work (PT1)

Posted on by Sabrina Renee

When people meet me or stumble across my teachings they have assumptions of who I am because I am a mindfulness teacher. They see that I lead meditations, or have attended my workshops and believe that I’ve got it all together.

Some people think I am calm and patient all the time.
Some people think meditation comes easy for me.
Some people think I have always been this way.

That’s the one that stops me in my tracks. Because it wasn’t too long ago that I was at my emotional rock bottom looking for the solutions I get to offer people today. When I think back on all of the inner work I’ve done to learn how to love myself, heal my suffering, and make personal growth a priority, it honestly feels like I’ve lived 100 lives already.

And while I am incredibly proud of who I have become as a result of the work I’ve put in, I never want to forget who I was, or where I was, or the crazy shit I used to do. It humbles me and I need that to stay grounded.

But also, I never EVER want someone to believe that I have ALWAYS been mindful, that I have ALWAYS treated myself with compassion, that I have ALWAYS had the answers to pain points like anxiety, stress, emotional regulation, or positive beliefs. Because not too long ago I was so lost and clinging to the belief that I didn’t deserve more than the shitty circumstances I found myself in time and time again.

So in honor of my Inner World program I’d like to share stories and lessons from who I was BEFORE I put the work in. Because my past self is the reason I am who I am today. She suffered alone in the dark for years before ever having the thought that things could possibly be better one day.

And if this is you right now, suffering alone in the dark struggling to believe that you deserve a life of peace, happiness, health, and deep unconditional self-love, then I pray this finds you exactly where you are.

I pray you read these words and KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that you’re meant for more than the pain you carry.
I pray you know that you are worthy of love.
I pray you know that no one’s opinion of you matters more than your own.
And most importantly, I pray you know that you don’t need permission to be better or want differently for your life, you just need to believe it’s possible.

This isn’t an article about how to change your habits, how to think positive, or how to achieve your goals. Instead, I’m choosing to share the stories of who I was before I was able to think positive, believe in myself, or trust that anything could be better than it was. This is who I was before I learned to love myself, before I healed my suffering, before I learned how to grow through what was happening rather than shrinking because of it.

This is me before the inner work.

When I was 17 years old I got caught in a parking lot with a white powdery substance. And that wasn’t even the craziest part of my night.

At the time I was experiencing my very first season of depression, but I didn’t know that nor did I have the words to articulate the pain I was going through. I had a job, I was on the basketball team, I was showing up to all my classes. The bare minimum bar that’s set for a teenager was being met so I couldn’t see the problem. I was maintaining.

It was shortly after my very first heartbreak that I turned to drugs and partying as a means of escaping the pain that wouldn’t go away. Again, this isn’t the language I’d use back then because it was just me having a good time. I had no idea how much and how far I was running from the pain within me.

Blacking out on the weekends became so routine that I had gotten used to hearing stories the next day of the parts of the night I couldn’t recall. But in those stories I was such a good time so I rolled with it.

And if you would have tried to tell me I was depressed I’d surely call you crazy. Because I was going out with my “friends” and having what I’d classify back then as a good time, even if I was sickly thin, had more cigarettes than meals each day, and my heart would be racing nearly every moment of every day. Who cares, you’re only young once right?


Anyway, it was a Friday or Saturday evening which meant I definitely wanted to be knee deep in the strongest distraction possible for as long as possible. So I met up with people who didn’t genuinely care about me so we could connect over the one thing we all had in common, getting numb, I mean having a good time.

The thing about partying hard is you start to pay less and less attention to what’s going on around you, things get sloppy. That’s exactly what we did, we got sloppy enough to get comfortable doing illegal things out in the open and a cop car pulled right up next to ours. I remember this moment like it was yesterday: smoking my cigarette a little slower in the back seat, feeling my heart rate blaring in my ears, wondering if we would really get caught or he’d just drive away. He didn’t.

Within a few moments we were instructed to get out of the car and separate. It was 15 degrees in February and I had a basketball tournament next weekend, I remember thinking my coach is gonna murder me. My parents will be shattered.

But to me the craziest part of all of this is that I couldn’t have been more unfazed.

My purse was searched on the hood of the car while, my “friends” were being patted down, and I was waiting for a female cop to arrive for my pat down. While I stood there shivering, there was a moment where I had a very unique inner experience. Maybe it was an outer body, maybe I was just high, or maybe it was the first glimmer of self-awareness. All I remember thinking is “I should really care more about what’s happening but I really don’t.”

Imagine being a minor who got caught doing drugs outside, who may get arrested, have parents and coaches and teachers informed but just simply not caring.

That was my first realization of how good I had become at numbing myself to the world around me. There was no remorse or regret, I felt no guilt or anxiety about what happened next. In fact I was almost bothered by how my night was interrupted and my fix wasn’t satiated. BIG red flag.

In the end someone took the fall for the entire group and for the time being I was safe, lawfully. And while I didn’t suddenly cut ties with these people and cut out all of my toxic behaviors I couldn’t forget how much I didn’t care. I couldn’t escape the feeling that I should care more about my life, my self, my body, my emotions, and where the fuck I’ll end up if I don’t.

Making better choices didn’t happen overnight, it took a while because before changes happen awareness is a must. And becoming aware of the things you’ve invested ALL of your energy into running away from isn’t easy. It’s arguably the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do.

And so slowly, I became aware.
I became aware of the people I partied with, how they made me feel and what we had in common.
I became aware of the habits I’d gravitate toward when things got hard and how easy it was to forget.
I became aware of how I’d feel when the drugs wore off, how I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror anymore.
I became aware of the double life I had been living to keep up appearances while slowly and secretly hating myself on the inside.

The more I noticed what was happening the harder it became to keep it happening. There wasn’t some sudden blissful moment of clarity where I knew the type of person I wanted to be. Instead, for me, it was little moments or awareness building on top of one another to paint a picture of the road I was heading down. The clearer that road became the more I had to face the responsibility of walking that road without the blinders.


And I learned that everything is hard. It’s hard to run away and it’s hard to face what you’re running from. So really it all comes down to which hard you’re willing to choose but before that even happens, you have to accept that all of this is a choice. Whether you’ve been actively choosing or doing so unconsciously, the choice is still yours.

If you’re in a really dark place or running from the hard stuff and running toward the numbing “good time”, take a look around. Open your eyes to what you’re doing, who you’re doing it with, and how it really makes you feel. Start taking into account the long term effects on your mind, body, and spirit if you don’t start paying attention.

Wherever you are in life is a great place to start. You need nothing more or less in order for you to wake up to how things are going. Just look around, take your head out of the sand, stop numbing your way through and give yourself the chance to feel something because you matter.

Please, please start acting like you do.

Posted in MindBody, Practices

A Guide to Creating Conscious Change: Alignment vs Action

Posted on by Sabrina Renee

Awakening to Your Life

Mindfulness is the practice of moment to moment awareness, awakening to your life as it is. This is a simple yet powerful practice that allows you to adopt a new set of attitudes, to view your world with a fresh pair of eyes. Becoming aware of who you are and what you are doing at this moment brings you out of the thinking mind and into the body, where experiences have been happening unnoticed. By bringing your attention to the experience of your physical sensations you are learning to ground into the present moment, whereas the thinking mind will take you away from it.

Awakening to your life as it is will bring opportunities of profound change into your life. Often people choose only to look at the future to dream, or to the past for reflection as a reference for the change they want. These ways of viewing experience and creating change can only get you so far. It’s the present moment that will reveal all the things about yourself that you’d like to change and how your current lifestyle choices are shaping you as a person. Therefore, if you want to become a better version of yourself tomorrow you have to start paying attention to how you’re showing up today.

The Steps of Conscious Change

A conscious change is one that you are involved in, have contemplated thoroughly, and decide on deliberately. Now is always the best time to time to create conscious change in your life. The first step, as you already learned, is becoming aware of what needs to change. But before any change occurs willingly most people wait until they’ve become frustrated with their own ways or circumstances. The laziness will begin to annoy you, the tardiness will impact your relationships, he procrastination will ruin yet another weekend, the doubts will no longer hold up as truth. You know deep down it could be better, and you also know that the responsibility for these changes falls on you. At some point, you will have to break up with your way of living and welcome change. Choose to do it before you’re at your wit’s end and save some energy for what’s to come. Here are the 3 steps to creating conscious change or A.C.T.

  1. Awareness

    Becoming aware of what needs changing is the first and most important step. Nothing can shift in your life until you become aware of what needs to. This is the starting point for inviting the new and releasing the old, where you learn to focus on what is serving your highest good.

  2. Choice

    After taking some time to observe there’s of your life you’d like to change, you’ll then get ready to make a choice. Sometimes this choice is a giant leap into the unknown, while other times it’s a simple step in the right direction. Even if it’s a small change it can conjure up some indecisiveness within you. This step is about deciding on what feels the best rather than comparing what “would be” better. You can’t see how things will play out exactly but you can tap into your intuition and figure out what course is best for you to take.

  3. Trust

    Finally, it’s time to trust this entire process. Trust in your ability to observe what behaviors, thoughts, or habits need to change in your life. Trust that your choice is a stable one that will bring you closer to who you envision yourself becoming. Trust within your ability to consciously create an overall improved lifestyle for you. Each time you actively build inner trust you strengthen the foundation of your relationship with yourself and your ability to make things happen in your life.

Observing Misalignment

To understand whether you are on the path bringing you closer to who you wish to become, it’s important to know when you’re misaligned or veering off course. An indication that you are experiencing alignment is when you are feeling positive and pleasant emotions. Alignment is the experience of feeling good and allowing more good feelings to find you. This happens when you are thinking healthy thoughts, making choices that line up with your idea of happiness or success and position yourself in a way that invites more of this feeling. An indication of misalignment is when you are feeling negative or unpleasant emotions. In this state of being, you are allowing more of these experiences to gravitate toward you. This happens when you’re thinking of harmful or uneasy thoughts, making choices out of emotional reactivity that do not align with your idea of happiness or success.

Although alignment is the ultimate goal, it’s important that you learn to notice when misalignment is occurring. The most notable thing to become aware of is the experience arising in your body. When you’re thinking troublesome thoughts or experiencing an unpleasant moment, it does not stay only in your mind. It travels throughout the body depositing stress in pockets of your muscles, bones, and internal systems. If you can begin to link your mental experiences with your physical ones you’ll begin to uncover certain patterns of behavior that follow your thoughts. For instance, if you are thinking thoughts of self-doubt your shoulders are likely to slouch and round forward; if you are experiencing an anxious thought that may appear in the body is a fast heart rate or sweaty palms.

Once you’ve become aware of misalignment in your mind you can locate it in your body. The thought patterns you’ve created over the years are powerful and often difficult to shift into a more pleasant experience. That’s why it’s important for you to recognize how misalignment shows up in your body, because that you can change by moving. Move your body in a healthy way, go for a walk if you can, stretch your arms, roll your shoulders back and release the tension in your face, unclench your jaw and take a deep breath. All of these simple choices will help bring you toward feeling better. The closer you are to feeling better the closer you become to alignment. Once you have tapped into the feeling and experience of alignment you can begin to take action toward your goals.

Planning Your Action

Deciding to take action or make an important decision isn’t something to be done without consideration. The right plan of action taking at the wrong time could push you further back than when you started. This is where the importance of alignment comes in. Making decisions in a state of clarity will bring you closer to the change you wish to see, whereas making decisions in a state of emotional reactivity most likely won’t. Although there is a huge difference between allowing your emotions to overcome you and channeling their energy for change, some people can’t quite point out those differences. For most people, emotions running high isn’t something that you thrive off of. It’s actually more likely to stress you out than bring you clarity or confidence about what’s next. This is why alignment and action go hand in hand.

By orienting yourself in the direction of joy, happiness, and success, you are aligning with your higher self. The more you consciously align with yourself the easier it will be to take action. Think of alignment as making your way to the diving board, each step bringing you closer to what you want to do, have, or be. The closer you get the more intense you’ll experience feelings of excitement, joy, and maybe a tinge of apprehension, but you keep moving. toward what it is you want. Now imagine jumping off the diving board as your plan of action, diving into the unknown whether it be by a single step or a massive leap. Don’t rush your way into action without appreciating the role and significance of aligning yourself with what’s meant for you.

Let’s Review

Mindful awareness is the key component in creating any conscious change. Awakening to your life as it unfolds means to release resistance to the state of your life now, so that you may invite new opportunities to find you. Before you begin to make changes you must first become aware of the areas in your life and things involved that need change. In this article, I’ve mapped out 3 steps of creating conscious change that can serve as a guide to making strong decisions that instill your inner trust. By first becoming aware of what needs changing, then making a conscious choice of how to move forward, and finally learning to trust the outcome and your ability to handle it. After you’ve made your decisions and have begun to experience that inner trust, you can learn to build on it by practicing alignment.

The simplest way to practice alignment is to become aware of the moments you’re feeling good and work to invite more of that feeling. This does not mean resisting negative emotions or rejecting unpleasant experiences, these are all apart of the journey. Instead, it’s about becoming aware of both alignment and misalignment, observing and understanding how they both show up in your experience. Misalignment will be tied to negative emotions and bodily sensations of feeling contracted or tight. Being in alignment will feel more open and flowing, with pleasant thoughts and positive feelings. After you’ve become familiar with how it is you want to feel continue striving for that feeling, building up the opportunity to take action. A plan of action is powerful on its own, just like aligning yourself with how you want to experience life is powerful. however, together they become an undeniable force propelling you toward the life you are creating.

You are the creator of your life experience and you are responsible for the ways you choose to respond to the world around you. Every day you are capable of bringing yourself closer to your higher self. It’s in the choices you make, the thoughts you observe, and the behaviors you begin to uncover. Bring a sense of curiosity to what it is you’re noticing within yourself and work on releasing judgment. Who you are today doesn’t have to be defined as good or bad, right or wrong, success or failure. Practice mindfulness with how you are showing up each day as a means for understanding the person you’ve become, not condemning or judging but welcoming. Allow your experience to be one that reveals deeper levels of yourself and uses them as ways to expand.

If you want to create conscious change in your life never stop paying attention. Keep aligning with what feels good and releasing what does not. Keep coming back to the present moment and all of the wonders it has to offer. And when this road gets more challenging than you had anticipated, keep coming back to the breath. Because as long as there is another breath cycle flowing through your body, you have another chance to begin again.

Posted in Mindfulness, Personal Growth

One door closes, another one opens

Posted on by Sabrina Renee

It’s the Sunday after my 30th birthday.

As I write this I’m reminiscing about my homemade baked goods yesterday as I adjust the cheap tablecloth my laptop is sitting on. Right up until our first guest arrived I was baking my first attempt at a 2-layer cake which was a major highlight for me. Although the steps were simple it was the follow-through I was proud of, I have a tendency to get excited when making the fire but sustaining the flames proves difficult.

But there’s something about this place, my new home, that’s proving to be different altogether. And I think I’ve figured out why.

Yesterday I threw a 90s theme 30th with long-time friends at the brand new townhome I moved to at the beginning of the month. Add to that the confidence-boosting haircut I got the day before I moved, you could say I was vibing high.

My home and heart were filled with good vibes the day of the party. From the moment I woke up to the end of the day the energy was funny and loving. My friends got the most intentional and heartfelt gifts I could have received, right down to the wording in each card. At the end of the night, as Ivan and I were cleaning up all the food and saying our goodbyes, I paused to express gratitude for all that I’ve been blessed to receive. That’s when I realized something.

As everyone packed up food and headed to their cars, I realized the party wasn’t the only thing that had ended that night. The anticipation I’ve held for over a year in my heart has officially stopped because I got everything I asked for.

I baked a 2 layer funfetti cake, yellow cupcakes with chocolate icing and banana muffins.
Posted in MindBody, Practices

A Guide to Creating Conscious Change: Alignment vs Action

Posted on by Sabrina Renee

Awakening to Your Life

Mindfulness is the practice of moment to moment awareness, awakening to your life as it is. This is a simple yet powerful practice that allows you to adopt a new set of attitudes, to view your world with a fresh pair of eyes. Becoming aware of who you are and what you are doing at this moment brings you out of the thinking mind and into the body, where experiences have been happening unnoticed. By bringing your attention to the experience of your physical sensations you are learning to ground into the present moment, whereas the thinking mind will take you away from it.

Awakening to your life as it is will bring opportunities of profound change into your life. Often people choose only to look at the future to dream, or to the past for reflection as a reference for the change they want. These ways of viewing experience and creating change can only get you so far. It’s the present moment that will reveal all the things about yourself that you’d like to change and how your current lifestyle choices are shaping you as a person. Therefore, if you want to become a better version of yourself tomorrow you have to start paying attention to how you’re showing up today.

The Steps of Conscious Change

A conscious change is one that you are involved in, have contemplated thoroughly, and decide on deliberately. Now is always the best time to time to create conscious change in your life. The first step, as you already learned, is becoming aware of what needs to change. But before any change occurs willingly most people wait until they’ve become frustrated with their own ways or circumstances. The laziness will begin to annoy you, the tardiness will impact your relationships, he procrastination will ruin yet another weekend, the doubts will no longer hold up as truth. You know deep down it could be better, and you also know that the responsibility for these changes falls on you. At some point, you will have to break up with your way of living and welcome change. Choose to do it before you’re at your wit’s end and save some energy for what’s to come. Here are the 3 steps to creating conscious change or A.C.T.

  1. Awareness

    Becoming aware of what needs changing is the first and most important step. Nothing can shift in your life until you become aware of what needs to. This is the starting point for inviting the new and releasing the old, where you learn to focus on what is serving your highest good.

  2. Choice

    After taking some time to observe there’s of your life you’d like to change, you’ll then get ready to make a choice. Sometimes this choice is a giant leap into the unknown, while other times it’s a simple step in the right direction. Even if it’s a small change it can conjure up some indecisiveness within you. This step is about deciding on what feels the best rather than comparing what “would be” better. You can’t see how things will play out exactly but you can tap into your intuition and figure out what course is best for you to take.

  3. Trust

    Finally, it’s time to trust this entire process. Trust in your ability to observe what behaviors, thoughts, or habits need to change in your life. Trust that your choice is a stable one that will bring you closer to who you envision yourself becoming. Trust within your ability to consciously create an overall improved lifestyle for you. Each time you actively build inner trust you strengthen the foundation of your relationship with yourself and your ability to make things happen in your life.

Observing Misalignment

To understand whether you are on the path bringing you closer to who you wish to become, it’s important to know when you’re misaligned or veering off course. An indication that you are experiencing alignment is when you are feeling positive and pleasant emotions. Alignment is the experience of feeling good and allowing more good feelings to find you. This happens when you are thinking healthy thoughts, making choices that line up with your idea of happiness or success and position yourself in a way that invites more of this feeling. An indication of misalignment is when you are feeling negative or unpleasant emotions. In this state of being, you are allowing more of these experiences to gravitate toward you. This happens when you’re thinking of harmful or uneasy thoughts, making choices out of emotional reactivity that do not align with your idea of happiness or success.

Although alignment is the ultimate goal, it’s important that you learn to notice when misalignment is occurring. The most notable thing to become aware of is the experience arising in your body. When you’re thinking troublesome thoughts or experiencing an unpleasant moment, it does not stay only in your mind. It travels throughout the body depositing stress in pockets of your muscles, bones, and internal systems. If you can begin to link your mental experiences with your physical ones you’ll begin to uncover certain patterns of behavior that follow your thoughts. For instance, if you are thinking thoughts of self-doubt your shoulders are likely to slouch and round forward; if you are experiencing an anxious thought that may appear in the body is a fast heart rate or sweaty palms.

Once you’ve become aware of misalignment in your mind you can locate it in your body. The thought patterns you’ve created over the years are powerful and often difficult to shift into a more pleasant experience. That’s why it’s important for you to recognize how misalignment shows up in your body, because that you can change by moving. Move your body in a healthy way, go for a walk if you can, stretch your arms, roll your shoulders back and release the tension in your face, unclench your jaw and take a deep breath. All of these simple choices will help bring you toward feeling better. The closer you are to feeling better the closer you become to alignment. Once you have tapped into the feeling and experience of alignment you can begin to take action toward your goals.

Planning Your Action

Deciding to take action or make an important decision isn’t something to be done without consideration. The right plan of action taking at the wrong time could push you further back than when you started. This is where the importance of alignment comes in. Making decisions in a state of clarity will bring you closer to the change you wish to see, whereas making decisions in a state of emotional reactivity most likely won’t. Although there is a huge difference between allowing your emotions to overcome you and channeling their energy for change, some people can’t quite point out those differences. For most people, emotions running high isn’t something that you thrive off of. It’s actually more likely to stress you out than bring you clarity or confidence about what’s next. This is why alignment and action go hand in hand.

By orienting yourself in the direction of joy, happiness, and success, you are aligning with your higher self. The more you consciously align with yourself the easier it will be to take action. Think of alignment as making your way to the diving board, each step bringing you closer to what you want to do, have, or be. The closer you get the more intense you’ll experience feelings of excitement, joy, and maybe a tinge of apprehension, but you keep moving. toward what it is you want. Now imagine jumping off the diving board as your plan of action, diving into the unknown whether it be by a single step or a massive leap. Don’t rush your way into action without appreciating the role and significance of aligning yourself with what’s meant for you.

Let’s Review

Mindful awareness is the key component in creating any conscious change. Awakening to your life as it unfolds means to release resistance to the state of your life now, so that you may invite new opportunities to find you. Before you begin to make changes you must first become aware of the areas in your life and things involved that need change. In this article, I’ve mapped out 3 steps of creating conscious change that can serve as a guide to making strong decisions that instill your inner trust. By first becoming aware of what needs changing, then making a conscious choice of how to move forward, and finally learning to trust the outcome and your ability to handle it. After you’ve made your decisions and have begun to experience that inner trust, you can learn to build on it by practicing alignment.

The simplest way to practice alignment is to become aware of the moments you’re feeling good and work to invite more of that feeling. This does not mean resisting negative emotions or rejecting unpleasant experiences, these are all apart of the journey. Instead, it’s about becoming aware of both alignment and misalignment, observing and understanding how they both show up in your experience. Misalignment will be tied to negative emotions and bodily sensations of feeling contracted or tight. Being in alignment will feel more open and flowing, with pleasant thoughts and positive feelings. After you’ve become familiar with how it is you want to feel continue striving for that feeling, building up the opportunity to take action. A plan of action is powerful on its own, just like aligning yourself with how you want to experience life is powerful. however, together they become an undeniable force propelling you toward the life you are creating.

You are the creator of your life experience and you are responsible for the ways you choose to respond to the world around you. Every day you are capable of bringing yourself closer to your higher self. It’s in the choices you make, the thoughts you observe, and the behaviors you begin to uncover. Bring a sense of curiosity to what it is you’re noticing within yourself and work on releasing judgment. Who you are today doesn’t have to be defined as good or bad, right or wrong, success or failure. Practice mindfulness with how you are showing up each day as a means for understanding the person you’ve become, not condemning or judging but welcoming. Allow your experience to be one that reveals deeper levels of yourself and uses them as ways to expand.

If you want to create conscious change in your life never stop paying attention. Keep aligning with what feels good and releasing what does not. Keep coming back to the present moment and all of the wonders it has to offer. And when this road gets more challenging than you had anticipated, keep coming back to the breath. Because as long as there is another breath cycle flowing through your body, you have another chance to begin again.

Posted in Growth

How to B.L.O.O.M in Dark Times

Posted on by Sabrina Renee

concrete tunnel

The Void

It’s been said that destruction is often the first step in recreation. The caterpillar must die for the butterfly to come to form. Sometimes when it feels like your life is falling apart, it’s actually beginning to come together in a new and improved way.

While in the thick of the storm it’s hard to see that it will pass because you’re focused on lack, damage, and change. The normalcy as you know it has ended, leaving you in what is known as the void-a space between what was and what will be.

During your time in the void, you’ll be learning about your true nature, being stripped from life as you know it can do that to you. You’ll be forced to shift your perspective into the next steps to take or stay stagnant, waiting for the storm to pass.

The truth is all storms pass, everything changes, nothing is permanent. But what is also true is there is a version of you who enters the void and a version of you who leaves it, you’ll be changed forever.

How you shape that perspective and build that character depends on the choices you make in the void.

close up photography of pink tulip flower

Are you buried or planted?

Bring to mind the seeds that are placed in the ground to harvest. Think of the trying times and tests they are put through before becoming a plant, a tree, medicine, or food on your plate.

Dug into a deep dark hole with little if any light, left only with an innate sense that something is going to happen next. Life can feel just like this at times. Things are dark and uncertain, you know something’s going to happen but aren’t sure what will.

All that you’ve got is your will to push through and the mindset to fuel it, but these things are choices, not obligations. The perspective you choose will determine the difference between whether you have been buried and planted in the ground. And your choice will begin propelling you toward that outcome.

Being buried feels like a complete lack of control over your life. Feeling the weight of the world on top of you, keeping the light from coming in. An experience similar to suffocation as you’re being pushed down deep into a swirl of emotions that continue reminding you of all the things you can’t change.

At first, it may seem that these things are happening to you, but after a while, you begin to expect it and maybe even seek the presence of unease. Simply put, the void means you’re not living the life you’ve been used to but you’re also not yet living your next chapter because it’s still being built.

It can feel like standing still in a field with no paths leading home until you choose to make one. If you choose to believe you’re being buried this feeling will last a very long time and you’ll continue to miss out on what’s waiting for you.

Being planted will have similar emotions attached but with a difference in feeling. While emotions arise naturally within feelings are focused on and determined by will. The experience may still be unpleasant but you’ll learn to focus on what is waiting for you on the other side of this trying time.

There may still be weight over you of all that you’ve lost but you’ll begin to acknowledge what is no longer holding you back. You’ll still be in darkness for quite some time but you strongly believe that if you push on a little longer, that light will shine through.

The time spent living in the void is a time to accept what is as a start to a brand new beginning. If you can shift your perspective from darkness to light, while still in the darkness, you’ve begun laying the foundation of the next chapter. When you choose the perspective of being planted there is no place to go but up, and you’re well on your way.

woman wearing grey long sleeved top photography

Relax, Release, Allow

Acceptance is a large step toward whatever lifestyle or goal you are trying to reach. You need a starting point and that’s what acceptance gives to you. Acceptance isn’t giving in or quitting.

It’s not telling yourself this is your way of living forever and it’s definitely not a pass to let time go by without putting effort into change. It is only once you’ve fully accepted where you are at this time in your life can you begin to see clearly where it is you’re going.

The three steps to come back to that help pave the way for life after acceptance are:

relax, release, and allow.

Relaxing into this moment means mentally and physically too since the body often holds onto tension, sometimes hours after your thoughts and emotions have passed. Bring more attention to the body’s sensations while you’re experiencing unpleasant emotions or thought patterns.

It takes time, practice, and consistency so be patient with yourself as you meet the parts of you that are troubling to navigate. Keep practicing. Keep coming back with a single breath cycle, an inhale and an exhale, to ground you back into your body and the present moment.

Once you’ve begun to relax your mind and body you can start moving into releasing what you are trying to hold onto. This should start at an internal level such as limiting beliefs, physical tension, and negative thoughts that are causing burdensome experiences.

Again, be patient with yourself and don’t quit because it’s hard to focus long enough. It won’t be easy but the simple way to approach it is to come back to the breath, the present moment, accepting what is even if it’s uncomfortable.

Whether you are aware of what’s happening within you or are keeping your eyes shut to the fact, it’s happening. Think of this practice as an awakening to your true self, drops of awareness in a giant bucket of consciousness.

When you’ve relaxed into the moment, begun to release what’s been holding you back, you can finally shift into allowing.

If you choose to believe you have been planted then you must believe that there is more transformation for you to go through. Being planted into the ground is the first step of many that lead to extraordinary growth that comes in stages.

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In order for you to expand and prosper you must first allow for these experiences to happen. Relaxing and releasing what has happened or what is currently unfolding is different from practicing allowance, which can refer to either this moment or what is on the way.

A good way to remind you to practice allowance is by bringing your attention to when you are choosing resistance. Notice if you’re resisting anything at this moment, in your life, or in the grand scheme of things.

There are plenty of circumstances out of your control that you do not have to enjoy or even agree with, but resistance is a choice. When you choose resistance you’re investing energy in not letting go to a perceived idea or way of living, instead of proactively considering your next move.

Practice shifting your energy to what you can do.

Expansion often arrives disguised as discomfort, suffering, the paralyzing fear of not knowing what comes which helps deepen your roots while forcing you to reach higher. The higher you reach the closer you meet the goodness and light that trying to meet you.

Allow Yourself to B.L.O.O.M

This simple acronym is an effective way to remember how to navigate through the void of your life. Each time you visit it’ll surface different answers to these prompts, but it will always shift your perspective toward growth.

It’s important to remember that which does not challenge you will not change you, start looking for the ways you can improve right now no matter how small the step. Become aware of what is happening in the void without attaching your personal story to it.

Begin stripping away the judgments you attach to the struggle you are up against and start thinking of practical ways to maneuver through. The time you spend in the unknown months of your life can be a powerful shift in mindset, skill set, and momentum if you allow it to be.

These 5 prompts are a great place to start.

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Blessings

Practice shifting your attention toward all of the wonderful things you have at this moment. Bring your focus to the feeling of your blessings, it’s less about the story surrounding it so don’t get caught up in details.

Each time you practice you’re expanding your imagination which is a muscle that weakens each time you choose doubt and disbelief. This will make it easier to visualize and believe in the blessings that are on their way to you.

Lessons

Learn how to focus on the growth-focused takeaways from each day you live through. Make a shift from the perspective of the sufferer to the student seeking out all the lessons you could learn from what you’re going through.

It could be as simple as learning to never make that mistake again or learning to incorporate more patience into your day. As with all of these exercises you’ll get better with consistent practice.

Obstacles

Acknowledge the obstacles in your path with an attitude of conquering them, crumbling before them. Recognize the journey will not be one of ease all the time and there will be things that trip you up.

Shift your focus to how you’ll overcome them, what skills you need to acquire, how much time you’ll need to invest, and how wonderful the reward will be on the other side. Obstacles are not optional, they’re necessary for growth, but what is optional is the way you choose to approach them,

Opportunities

Actively begin seeking ways to improve mentally, emotionally, and personally to create a better lifestyle. There are plenty of opportunities for you to grow through what you go through if you’re looking for them, which means you have to practice focus.

Start with your thought patterns, limiting beliefs of what’s possible for you, intense emotional reactions, and the environment you’re in. Open up a running tab of ways to be a little better than you were yesterday. Start slow, be realistic with the season you’re in, but never suit looking for expansion.

Momentum

Start to strategically combine all that you’ve learned and practiced with the above concepts and create an action plan. Be honest with how lofty your dreams are and don’t make that a bad thing, just start with what you’ve got and move forward.

Momentum is going to be the driving force that pushes you out of your comfort zone and into the successful lifestyle you imagine for yourself. You also need to be honest about the season of life you’re in, the burdens you’re carrying, and what you’re capable of sustaining once you start.

Some people can take quantum leaps, while others have to take baby steps, don’t judge yourself on where you’re starting momentum has a way of picking up quick.

Let’s Review

At some point in your life, you will find yourself in the void, the space between who you were and who you’re becoming. It can be a time of confusion, fear, scarcity, and uncertainty. It can also be a time of hope, empowerment, faith, and growth.

The beauty of the void is your perspective determines what you get out of it. The situation itself isn’t something you have control over but the response to it is in your hands. Before you respond to something that’s happening around you it’s important to practice introspection to find out how you feel about it, what you want out of it, and how you’re gonna make it happen.

Don’t be afraid to sit with yourself during uncomfortable times. In fact, this should be the first thing you do. Get to know what’s going on inside of you, learn about your fears, ask about your desires and the person you want to become. Don’t stay stagnant in the void because in time it will become a memory of the past. So how do you want to remember this time?

As Jon Kabat-Zinn so perfectly titled his book “Wherever You Go, There You Are.,” so stop running from yourself. Relax into the present moment because it’s the only one that actually exists, the rest are either memories, ruminations, assumptions, or expectations of the past and future.

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Be here now.

Release your grip on what has past, what is no longer serving your highest good, what cannot be changed and notice how all of those thoughts impact your body. Start letting go of tension in your body, release your clenched jaw and fists, uncurl your toes, sit up straight and just present.

Stop resisting what you don’t like about this moment, stop pushing away your reality in hopes of feeling better, stop denying things as they are and awaken to the power you have right now. Stop trying to change your life by resisting what is and start focusing your energy on what you can do about it.

Allow yourself to expand into new possibilities, creating space for new chances and fresh starts to find you. Allow yourself to bloom.

Start by counting your blessings every day and finding the lessons you could be learning every night. Start acknowledging the obstacles in your path as chances to enhance your mindset, skill set, and awareness of the journey ahead.

Start seeking opportunities in ordinary moments to improve your emotional and mental wellbeing, while growing into the person of your soul’s highest desire. Begin building the momentum you need to push you upward, into the light and out of the darkness.

All of this is possible if you’re open to change, if you believe that you are enough as you are, and if you start now.

Love Heal Grow