Being Purpose Driven in 2020

Posted on January 5, 2020 by Sabrina Renee

What is Your Purpose?

Such a loaded question for some and so simple for others. For all of us, finding your purpose equals finding meaning in your life and the moments you invest in. When you’ve identified your purpose life choices get narrow, the trajectory of your life becomes a bit more clear. Life’s purpose is not what you do but rather who you innately are.

My purpose is to be a healer, to heal myself so that I may teach others the tools to heal themselves. Although it took years and years to redefine it in such simple terms, it remained true through all occupations. As someone working the stock room in retail, as a server at Applebee’s, as a child care attendant and as a personal trainer, this was who I have always been at the core. So whether you know exactly what your purpose is or you have absolutely no clue, or even if you’re somewhere in between the two here is my advice to you: don’t allow your current life circumstance to define your purpose for you.

Creating a Purpose Driven Life

Creating a purpose-driven life means understanding the values that align with it. Once those values are identified they become the focal points of your thinking and decision making. Deciding to live a life on purpose sounds simple enough but it comes with the price of self-discipline. These values may reveal themselves or match easily with the life you visualize, but the hard work comes when those values clash with any current belief system. The biggest challenge for me was identifying that one of my values was respecting my self-worth which often meant putting my needs before others. Until an opportunity to help a friend, family member, or even someone I was dating went against that value. The belief system I had for so long made me feel that putting myself first was a form of betrayal of those I love. Therein lies the choice: change or familiarity?

Now, of course, each circumstance and person is different. There are no right answers across the board for any core values defined. But it will more often than not invite an inner conflict into your life. One that forces you to choose between who you’ve always been and who you wish to be. It’s about strengthening your intuition and trusting what feels like the best way to go. When this happens don’t judge yourself by labeling one answer right or wrong. Just remember only ONE choice can bring you closer to living a life on purpose. Choose wisely.

Not a Destination, A Way of Living

The more you challenge your belief system the more self-aware you become. Self-awareness is a tool that allows you to confront thoughts before they become actions. If practicing self-awareness becomes a habit than so does the opportunity to create change. Because change doesn’t happen once you declare you’re ready for it. Change doesn’t occur because you’ve clearly defined your core values or proclaimed a particular way of living. Life begins to change when you interrupt the pattern of behavior or thinking to shift the trajectory of your path. When you decide to trust your gut over the nostalgic and all too familiar choice that is insisting to be chosen. Change shows up in life when you constantly and consistently show up with the tool of self-awareness.

Here are 5 ways to show up on purpose:

Set intentions before taking actions
Check-in with your thoughts and experiences throughout the day
Question the beliefs that challenge your defined values
Say no to what does not align with your purpose
Be kind to yourself as you grow through each experience

Remaining True to Yourself

Staying the course will be filled with hard choices and lessons learned, so move forward with compassion. Taking responsibility for where you are in life is just as important as forgiving yourself for mistakes made. There will be parts of yourself that will be surfacing for the first time, invite them with kindness. Use that as a chance to study them with nonjudgmental awareness and make a purpose-driven decision. Appreciate the journey each day rather than focusing on the destination because the more you grow the further it becomes.

Being on purpose is a daily choice that invites more love, joy, fulfillment, and gratitude. Pay attention to what each day has to offer. Practice living a purpose-driven life through the 5 tips and grow through what you go through with awareness.

Healing, MindBody

Coping With Anxious Mind

Posted on October 7, 2019January 24, 2023 by Sabrina Renee

“Problems cannot be solved with the same mindset that created them.“

-Albert Einstein

If you’ve experienced the power of anxiety you understand that it can often paralyze your mind and body. When your thinking gets hijacked by anxious thoughts it can create havoc in your life and quickly destroy inner peace. It’s possible to understand how to cope with an anxious mind but first, you have to get ahead of it. Taking back your thoughts starts with changing your thinking.

The time to learn how to redirect your thoughts isn’t in the midst of an anxious moment. It isn’t when you’re body is reacting to the emotion you’re experiencing. It definitely isn’t when you’ve already taken a negative action toward yourself or another person. The right time to understand the importance of redirecting your thoughts and shifting your focus is before it arises again.

Coping With An Anxious Mind

Coping with an anxious mind is a marathon, not a sprint and the training is extensive. The mental exhaustion caused by the creation of hypothetical scenarios is enough to keep you indecisive and filled with fear. That same amount of energy can be utilized to rewire the mind to focus the attention on the present moment.

As with all change, it begins with awareness of yourself. It requires a practice of separating the components of anxiety, understanding the mind and body connection, and implementing pause to practice responding appropriately to the experience. The separation exercise is what I use and teach my client, to break anxiety into 3 tangible parts: Thoughts, Physical Sensations, and Behaviors.

Each person’s level of anxiety differs from manageable to debilitating, with multiple levels in between. By understanding the cycle of anxiety you can acquire the tools to combat it when it rears its ugly head, no matter how intense it is. It’s essential to separate yourself from anxiety-producing thoughts such as self-doubt, fear, angst, scarcity, etc. The thinking mind is one of the first things to get hijacked when under anxiety’s grip, therefore it’s important to practice noticing when it begins creeping up.

How to Take Action

The trick to communicating positively with your thinking mind is to ask the right questions. If you ask “why do I feel this way?” you’ll typically start spiraling even quicker into whatever negative emotion you’re feeling. However, if you try asking yourself “how can I feel better?” you’ll get a more direct answer leading you away from how you feel and toward where you want to feel.

What thoughts are you experiencing right now?
What questions am I willing to do to heal from here?
How can I feel stronger? Happier? In control? More confident?

Physical sensations in the body are connected to the thoughts you are thinking, emotions you are feeling, or behaviors you are choosing to act on. An example of this anxiety would be heart palpitations, sweaty palms, dry mouth, tight chest, clenched fists, etc. This is the body reacting to warn you of danger or protect you because it perceives your anxiety as life-threatening.

When you zoom out of the severity of the situation, or when you’ve finally calmed down, it seems silly to have jumped to such intense conclusions. But the truth is the mind and body were working together to keep you safe and protected, from yourself.

The solution? Start paying attention to your body like it’s a science experiment through mindful awareness. This exact process helped me combat debilitating anxiety and I believe with some consistent practice, patience, and a smidge of humor you could do the same.

Start by taking notice of how your body is reacting. State it to yourself without judgment, be curious, open, and present at this moment. Avoid words like good, bad, scary, always, never, happy, sad, exciting, nervous, etc. Describe your experience with facts only, not emotion or past experience.

“My heart is beating very fast, interesting.”

“My palms are sweaty, huh.”

“My breath is shallow.”

“My stomach/chest feels tight.”

After each observation, take a few deep breaths, inhaling through the nose and exhaling through the mouth. Make your exhalation a bit longer than the inhalation to relax the muscles, letting your mind and body know you are taking control now.

Behaviors are decisions you come to after your thoughts have driven you to choose a particular path. However, behaviors under the influence of anxiety are intoxicated with whatever emotion you are feeling.

For instance, if your anxiety is fueled by fear of public speaking, your thoughts will trick you into thinking you are inadequate, and your physical sensations may be a closed throat and trembling body, therefore your behavior will be to never practice public speaking. Because you were under the influence of fear you’ve lost out on the opportunity to rise to the occasion of trying something new.

To be sure you are choosing your behaviors with a wise mind practicing pause is a significant practice. Before you make a choice under the influence of anxiety pause. Run through the ‘thought questions’, check in with your physical sensations, and decide if you’re capable of making a conscious decision right now.

When your thinking mind has been hijacked by anxiety everything has a sense of urgency, time is flying by, and each decision feels as if it needs to be made quickly. More than likely there is plenty of time to take time to sober up your thinking through deep breaths, come back to the present moment, and make a conscious effort to think clearly again.

Let’s Review

The thoughts in your thinking mind are influenced by the emotions you have or currently are experiencing. These emotions are what fuel the behaviors and decisions you choose. By practicing the separation exercise each day you can get a better understanding of what your triggers are, how they influence your decisions, and what it will take to take control over your thinking.

Remember, you don’t want to consider your exit strategy when the building is already on fire. Start working on your thoughts and noticing what experiences they lead to before you fall into the tight grips of anxiety.

Dealing with anxiety is in no way an easy feat, and rewiring your thinking process won’t be either. The choice you need to make is, which difficult road will bring you closer to solutions and peace of mind?

Love. Heal. Grow.

Learn how to manage your reactions to stress. Click here to join my free Stress Relief Workshop.

Growth

Achieve Your Goals: Prioritization and Time Management

Posted on September 20, 2019 by Sabrina Renee

Setting Goals Pt. 2

Let’s get familiar with the expected distractions and prepare for the unexpected halts in progress. The road to achieving anything is winding, covered in hidden pitfalls, and obstacles waiting for the chance to derail you. The wise choice would be to prepare both mentally and physically for what lies ahead. Listed below are the most common problems, issues, and self-defeating habits people come across after goal setting.

Lacking prioritization

Time
Energy
Travel

Lack of results

Not quick enough
Seems like the opposite result
Focusing on the external only

Lack of motivation

Laziness and procrastination
Not being surrounded by those who want the same as you
Missing accountability and visualization

Derailed by short term pleasures

Choosing fun over discipline
Choosing sleep over work
Choosing doubt over courage

Anxiety and overwhelm

Thinking about getting too much done at once
Not thinking about it because it makes you anxious
Believing you won’t get it done by a projected date

These distractions, setbacks or weak points do not define you. Instead, they highlight the areas that lack awareness and give you the opportunity to rise to the occasion. Just by reading them and starting the internal conversation you are closer to achieving whatever your heart desires. Don’t stay stuck in being aware of them, it’s time to own your part and stop giving away your control. Choose 1 struggle within each 5 category and brainstorm ways you can gear your behaviors toward productivity.

When you’re done reading this blog I STRONGLY urge you to come back to this list. Read and pause at each category. Ask yourself which of these are impeding the most on your progress. OWN IT. Be honest with yourself and your shortcomings, once you are aware you can make the shift toward progress

How to Stay Focused

Write it down daily, focus on the feeling

In big bold letters write down your goal, followed by THANK YOU. Make a conscious effort daily to look at it and believe in yourself. Practice gratitude as if it’s already on it’s way to you. Focus on the appreciation and satisfaction you’ll feel once you’ve accomplished all you’ve set out to. We spend so much time thinking about the future yet it’s rarely positive. Change that and allow your perspective to drive you.

Affirm it every morning and evening out loud

There is an incredible amount of stimulus throughout each day, some necessary and some insignificant. It’s important to remind yourself of the direction you are meant to be headed. As reviewed before there are plenty of distractions ready to pull your attention away to something easier, something simpler, or something with instant gratification. Affirming your goals each morning and night will embed success in your mind, eventually bringing you back to what is important.

Visual reminders

Never underestimate the power of a sticky note on the refrigerator, bathroom mirror, or dashboard of your car. Take a moment to think about what rooms you spend the most time in. Write out your goal, a phrase to keep you on track, or a positive affirmation to keep you focused. There may come a day you experience self-doubt- until you come across this note. Use it as a reminder of just how capable, confident and strong you are.

Weekly check-ins on your progress

Pick a day and time to have a weekly meeting with yourself-never miss this meeting! Ask yourself about this week’s thoughts and behaviors: Did you do your best? Did your trigger points get the best of you? Practice accepting your choices, forgive your shortcomings and recommit to your goals. Finally, ask yourself how can you improve this week? Create an intention from the answer, move forward confidently in the week and repeat again next week.

Accountability partner/group

Choose wisely who you share your goals, dreams, and visions with. Let it be someone who loves and supports you, who believes in your abilities and provides you encouragement. Ask this person to hold you accountable in a way you are both comfortable with. It could be a simple weekly call reminding you to stay focused and positive. Never underestimate the power of external love, support, and belief.

Learn how to read your mental and physical cues (rest don’t quit)

Check-in with yourself, particularly on the days you lack motivation. Get to know what switches off your positive momentum and shifts you toward doubt. Accept that these days will happen, and even if you’re prepared that negative momentum can knock you down. Learn to accept how you’re feeling, what you’re experiencing at this moment and ask yourself “what do I need right now?” Rest is an essential part of making progress, but quitting will never get you there. Learn the difference.

Create an Accountable Routine

The steps above are very simple to implement, it’s the consistency that is hard. Your fears and insecurities grow louder the bigger the desire becomes. But don’t let them take the power over your vision. Be mindful of your momentum- when it begins to fade or shift toward a decline. Accept that it’s happening, forgive yourself for the slipup. Remember this moment is only part of your journey, not your destination.

Pick at least 3 out of the 6 practices above and create an accountability routine for yourself. Make sure the 3 you choose are realistic for you and that it’s possible to remain consistent. Practice this routine at the same time daily and twice a day when your feeling discouraged. Remember: it’s all about momentum.

Make the effort to assure yourself that you can ALWAYS get right back on track, you are never too far off. See your goal clearly and say it aloud daily. Remind yourself as much as you need to that everything will work out in the best possible way. Shifting self-defeating thoughts to motivating ones can be challenging but with practice comes patience and mental strength. These are the superpowers that will continue to push you forward.

Keep going, keep growing and stay mindful.

Growth

Setting Goals Without Overwhelm

Posted on September 16, 2019 by Sabrina Renee

How To Set A Goal

Goals are often thought of while experiencing intense emotion. Being inspired by the accomplishments of others, feeling inadequate with your own performance or experiencing an insatiable hunger for better outcomes in life. Allowing feelings and emotions to ignite the spark is a powerful jump-start in the right direction, but it won’t sustain you. Moods are influenced and circumstances are constantly changing in all different directions. The reasons you set your goal shouldn’t change as a result.

**It’s time you dug deeper than**

the superficial reasoning for wanting change.

Start By Asking The Right Questions

Ask yourself the true meaning behind the goals you are setting.

Why do you want to exercise?
Why do you want to eat healthier?
Why do you want to make more money?
Why do you want to improve your mindset?
Why do you want to study that particular subject?

Everyone’s answers will differ, but one commonality in their responses is a feeling. Your current situation is making you feel unease, unhappiness, anxiety or frustration. When you achieve that goal you’ll be fulfilled, grateful, healthy, positive and confident. When you begin to doubt yourself from achieving what you set out to, bring your attention to the positive feelings it will bring. This is a simple way to get started with your goal setting. It’s also a great reference for when you get derailed from the goals you’ve already set.

Setting S.M.A.R.T. Goals

When setting goals it’s easy to take a dreamer’s approach, thinking big without a logical plan to keep you focused. Each goal needs an end result, the progress made needs to be monitored, measured, and held to a high standard. Setting goals without a deadline could lead you down a path of procrastination, lethargy, and ultimately starting over, or worse giving up altogether. Using the S.M.A.R.T. goals guide will help you plan, achieve, and celebrate your success.

Specific

Get as clear as possible with the goals you want to accomplish, start by thinking of the end result. What does it look like? What does it feel like? Consider what your limitations may be, as well as the strengths you bring to the table. Be honest with yourself because false-truths will only hold you back. These are not meant to box you into a smaller goal, but rather prepare you for what lies ahead.

Measurable

After you gain some clarity on your goal it’s time to break it down into measurable increments of growth. Whether your ultimate goal involves fitness or personal development, small actions will get you closer to the main goal. When designing your plan it may appear as goals within goals, that’s a great start (i.e. before focusing your attention on losing weight first pay attention to your portion sizes.)

Attainable

Be realistic in the means of effort, money, time and energy you can/will invest into achieving your goal. The possibilities for growth are endless, and more often than not right at your fingertips. However, the question isn’t about the path but the person taking it. Ask yourself: Am I physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and/or financially prepared for the road ahead? You may uncover you’ve gotten a bit ahead of yourself. This simply means it’s time to reassess and make another plan. Don’t diminish the goal when it’s the plan that needs adjusting.

Relevant

Emotions can get the best of your thoughts, leading you to believe you want something that may not serve your higher self. Ask yourself deep questions about the lifestyle changes you wish to take on. WHY? Are you striving for short term pleasures or overall better quality of life? Think of your future self as you create actions and behaviors to follow. If you find that your goals are a bit superficial go back to the drawing board. Consider this a step closer to defining exactly what you want.

Timely

Set a deadline and work toward it diligently. Create a system of checking in with yourself, don’t just wait for the deadline to approach. For instance, check-in weekly with yourself if the goal is 3 months away. Be honest about the progress you are making and where you could use some improvement. Make these meetings a priority and take yourself and your goal seriously. Remember, the plan to achieve your goal is never set in stone, it’s constantly evolving to fit the person you are growing into. A deadline will help you get the momentum going.

Improvise. Adapt. Overcome.

The Marine Corps uses the phrase “improvise, adapt and overcome” for problem-solving and quick thinking. It applies the same to goal setting because life is unpredictable. The environmental circumstances may negatively impact the original plan AND the goal remains the same. Too often goal setting revolves around only the positive end result without considering the obstacles that may arise. Instead of neglecting the possibility of being derailed prepare a plan for that exact scenario. Preparing physically, mentally and emotionally, bracing yourself to face adversity and succeed anyway.

This post is about the WHY and HOW behind the goals you set for yourselves. They are driven by emotion and sustained by disciplined habits you acquire. But in between these two crucial concepts lies the plan for reaching your desires no matter how grand they are. A plan must be solid and flexible. Make your focus clear so that your actions are diligent. Prepare your mindset for whatever lies ahead and start letting go of what is no longer benefiting you.

Allow your emotions to be the compass guiding you toward your achievements, not away from them. If you feel inspired by something it’s not just by chance. When you are moved into action it’s most likely because that’s what you TRULY want to do in life. Don’t allow the unknown or self-doubt misguide you to thinking you can’t. You simply haven’t gathered all of the knowledge needed. Be patient, trust that you will improvise when thrown a curveball, adapt to the last minute changes, and overcome any obstacles.

The goal is shiny, attractive and will feel incredible when you get there. The journey, however, is where you learn the most about who you are. The path into unknown territory is dimly lit, the mindset you choose is what will light the way. Choose the way you approach your goals consciously.

Growth

Doing The Daily Inner Work

Posted on September 13, 2019 by Sabrina Renee

The person reading this post today was not made overnight, he/she was created over many years and thousands of choices. Making a conscious effort to work on being your best self consists of daily action. So, what are you doing each day to inch your way closer to your best self?

Choices:

Start by making 1 conscious choice when you wake up and you will change the trajectory of your entire day. Creating a morning routine is an entirely different beast to tackle, but you can absolutely win the day by making a choice for your healing, health, and wellness.

Ask yourself, “What area of my life needs the most improvement?” For me, it was my relationship with myself, always negative and being put on the back burner. If I didn’t get ahead of this at the beginning of the day I never stood a chance. So each morning I made a conscious choice to start my morning with an affirmation and a hug. This may not be your cup of Hennessy and that’s alright, find what is. Inner Work is all about getting to know who you are and who you wish to be.

Habits:

There are lots of 4 week challenges to create a habit, but once those 30 days are up and you’ve stopped showing up, is it still considered a habit? Nope. Start slow and be realistic.

Ask yourself, “What is holding me back from being better than I was yesterday?” Get honest with yourself about how you spend your time, the energy you invest in your habits, and how they actually benefit you. From there you can start with letting go of 1 habit that is holding you back, and start to incorporate a new habit that will bring you closer to where you want to be. I once read that Jerry Seinfeld had a practice called Don’t Break The Chain, where he would mark the calendar with a giant red X on the days that he practiced his craft. If he didn’t practice, there was no red X, hence he broke the chain (also his calendar was hanging by a chain, but you get the jist). Keep yourself accountable with visual reminders and remember, it’s only a habit if you do it daily.

Mindset:

This one is going to be challenging on multiple levels, starting with the fact that you are essentially fighting yourself with every thought. When it comes to changing your thoughts and shifting your thoughts to a more positive attitude, it’s all about getting back up again.

You are going up against a powerful source that has been growing more powerful with every pattern. Each time you say something negative, or quit on yourself, or go back to the person who hurt you, or decide that you’ll start tomorrow, you reinforce the mindset you’re trying to fight. It’s going to take persistence, patience, mental strength and mindful awareness to chip away at the old ways of thinking to create a new, more fruitful path. The inner work for this will test you and that is your opportunity to rise, to practice being your best self.

Movement:

Prioritize time for intentional movement every day. NO EXCUSE. 30 minutes would be truly be ideal but it’s much better to be honest with yourself and start small. Make movement a non-negotiable daily action. Choose to take the steps instead of the elevator, take a walk outside when you get the chance, move with the intention of showing up for your body the way it constantly shows up for you.

Part of the homework I give as a personal trainer is to choose 1 stretch for a particular muscle that is constantly tight or giving you an issue. Give it attention, show it some gentle compassion, be the change you want to see your body exhibit and do it everyday.

Stillness:

Prioritizing time for stillness everyday is an excellent tool for reflection, or sometimes just a breath of fresh air. When you’re always on the go, always feeling the need to be doing, chances are you’re doing just to do.

Daily inner work teaches you that sometimes you’re occupying your time with busy work just so you don’t have to sit with whatever it is you’re thinking or feeling. This is one of those habits you want to try and break ASAP, because you have to be with yourself everyday, why not learn how to practice it peacefully? Practicing stillness for the mind is as rejuvenating as movement for the body, it’s the lubricant your soul needs to revitalize itself.

Let’s Review

The choices you make generate the habits you create, both of which are part of your daily inner work. Instead of taking a quantum leap into drastic changes, start small and start with self-awareness. Notice which choices and habits are burdens in your life and which ones are propelling you forward. Mindset is how you approach your habits, choices, inner work, and overall being. When you go into something seeking the positive you are more likely to find it, therefore the mindset you adapt will be an effective tool for skill set and resilience building.

Then you have movement for the body and stillness for the mind, both are essential for your well-being. While the mind works better after relaxing and practicing pause, the body needs to keep moving. Keeping yourself mobile is significant when you begin to consider all of the things you want to accomplish in your day. The more able your body is to move, bend, twist, and lift the better capable you are to keep up with your daily tasks. The final of the five is stillness, or the practice of being with yourself in this very moment. Such a simple task can often be incredibly challenging because of all the stimuli we experience everyday.

So what are you waiting for? Start right now! While you’re fired up and can easily picture sliding these activities into your schedule. Start with 1 or jump into all 5, be realistic with your planning but don’t be afraid to push your limits. And if you ever get discouraged or fall off the wagon, just start all over again. Keep committing to your progress because the only way the results show up is if you consistently show up and do the inner work.

Love. Heal. Grow