Tag: SelfAwareness

Posted in Weekly Insights

Monthly Highlights: January 2023

Posted on by Sabrina Renee

January is the final month of maidenhood as I’m a few days shy from my due date. Not only does it feel like this pregnancy has gone by so quickly, but also the start of this year feels like it’s moving at lightning speed. To think any day now my newborn will be in my arms just blows me away.

The days ahead may be blurry. As the saying goes the days are long but the years are short, that’s a wild concept to consider. My goal as a parent is to be as present as possible but as a first-time mom, I also understand most of my learning happens on the job and so being present may prove more trying than realistic.

In an attempt to make the most of this life-changing year, I’ve been journaling each day to savor the most precious moments. Writing has always been my favorite form of release, communication, and reflection especially when done consistently. Usually, I bite off more than I can chew, but this year I’ve found the sweet spot of answering 3 simple questions at the end of every day:

What excited me today?
What exhausted me today?
What did I learn today?

Each month of 2023 I’d like to share the highlights of my life with you, the exciting ones, the exhausting ones, and the ones that offered me lessons to take forward. Partially because it’s important to me that I maintain my love for writing, even if it’s simple journaling. But also I love sharing my experience with those interested, especially as I embark on new territory with mindful intentions. So here are my highlights of January and what I’ve taken from them.

Highlights of Excitement in January

Getting a bedframe for the first time in 5 years
My husband and I are minimalist by nature, or maybe just lazy I’m not sure, either way we don’t need much to be happy. We’ve lived together for 5 years going on 6 and this month bought our first bed frame. Until now we’ve had a mattress on the floor and have had no complaints.

However, since I’ll be having a baby any day now we’ve been preparing for the postpartum period and all the ways to create comfort and support for me and baby. The more I thought about getting out of bed with my knees higher than my hips the more I realized it was time for a bed frame. It has been a HUGE change, I’m not used to being so high off the ground but it’s been an amazing improvement for the multiple bathroom runs throughout the night.



My father’s 72nd birthday
My family lives a little over an hour away and ver since hitting 9 months of pregnancy I stopped taking long trips outside of town. So although I wasn’t able to physically see him, hug him, and grab a slice of ice cream cake, what a blessing it was to call my father on his 72nd birthday this year.

It’s exciting for all the obvious reasons, celebrating life is always exciting. But this year is super special for me because my baby will have a grandfather, something I didn’t have the priveledge of growing up. The thought of my little one making precious memories with him in the garden or listening to old school wisdom swells my heart.

My grandmother’s 95th birthday
A few days after my father’s birthday is his mother’s, my grandmother’s, and this year she turned 95. That entire week felt like on gigantic blessing to be celebrating so many decades of life. My grandma lives in North carolina and it’s been nearly a year since I’ve seen her, I really miss her.

Thankfully she’s surrounded by love all the time and never alone. Her friends and family threw her a party with upwords of 120 people showing up to shower her with gifts, loving speeches, and gratitude for all that she’s offered throughout the years. My grandma’s heart is so pure, I can’t wait for my baby to experience all of that love.

Washing my newborn’s clothes
Those tiny socks and mittens are honestly too cute to explain. The smell, the size, the cute little designs. My heart began to swell. I wasn’t ready for how emotional it would make me to wash, dry, and fold those little outfits.

It allowed me to start fantasizing about late night feedings and getting them dressed in the morning, as I started to pack a diaper caddy that will sit next to my bedside. As I counted and organized the clothes according to months I prayed for time to slow down just a little bit. This baby isn’t even here yet and yet it all feels like it’s going too fast.

Purchasing home-birth materials
I’m so excited to be setting up our home-birth essentials in the baby’s room. We’ve got the tub and hose ready to be used, positive affirmations ready to be written on a giant white board, and the essential oil diffuser ready to set the tone. All that’s left is the set up when the time comes. I’m in no rush but I am getting eager.

Highlights of Exhaustion in January

Starting the year off with the worst congestion
The most frustrating part of this year was starting it off so congested that I couldn’t breathe through BOTH nostrils. I literally pulled back to back all nighters because laying down felt like drowning, and I couldn’t find comfort with my big belly. On top of the congestion I had a few hours of Braxton hicks contractions that I had to mouth breathe through, would not recommend, but you do what you’ve got to. Although the congestion hasn’t gone away 100% I have since become very grateful to breahe through both nostrils again.

Releasing pent up resentment under the full moon
Two of my spiritual friends and I like to get together under full moons to align our energies with higher frequencies. This one was very important to me because it was the last one before I became a mom, and I’m not sure when we’ll be getting together again. Once we got together, lit the incense, and started sharing intentions, I began to feel lighter. I had no idea just how much heaviness, resentment, and anger I had been holding onto for so long.


The days that followed felt like being hungover, a healthy hangover where I had let go of burdens and baggage, but a hangover nonetheless. I was left with lots to think about, exhausted from all I was still letting go, and working to accept how to move forward from all of that. It was powerful, overall great for my spirit, but man it was exhausting.

Nesting non-stop for 3 days
From waking up with the urge to scrub a toilet all the way to my need to start freezing meatballs for postpartum, nesting hit me hard. It came in a strong wave and stayed for about 3 days before I suddenly crashed. It was empowering and exhausting all at once, and I hear it could come once more right before baby arrives. This time I’m ready for it.

Dealing with swelling of my legs and feet
One thing I wasn’t prepared for was the swelling of my lower body. Swelling is one thing but the “fluffy discomfort” that accompanies the swelling really threw me. I’d describe it as having server’s feet, if you’ve ever worked in a restaurant setting you know what I’m talking about.

The crazy thing is I didn’t need to be on my feel for hours or do strenuous work. This exhaustion was challenging to get around because it was simply apart of pregnancy, something to work with, accept, and learn to rest through. I guess this doubles as a lesson learned too.

Working through 12 hours of promordal labor contractions
This sounds more painful than it actually was, it felt more uncomfortable and inconvenient than anything. What was exhausting was being awake for it the entire time and not being able to sleep the next day. It was interesting to feel the waves varry in intensity, time, duration, move from my abdomen to my back, and suddenly subside. It was like a dresss rehearsal of what could be expected, but from what I understand x10.



Highlights of Learnings in January

The importance of slowing down for my mind and body
I (re)learned that slowing down is a precious gift to give myself, one that continues to serve me long after I’ve begun to pick up the pace again. Whether it’s to slow down and take a deep breath during a challenging moment, or slowing down my body after a lot of activity, it’s the choice itself that I keep learning from.

I keep learning that I have the option to slow down, that urgency may be my first go to but it doesn’t have to be the end decision. Each time I slow down I remind myself that I can always slow down, it’s always a choice, and it’s always MY choice to make, no one else’s.

There is someone on the otherside of the anger I feel
As I began to release anger and resentment under the full moon I realized how strong that hold was over me. I was holding on so tightly to how wrong someone else was, how much they were hurting me, and how their actions were impacting those around them.

What I wasn’t thinking of was the person on the otherside of my anger and resentment, what they may be feeling and going through. The more I humanized the person the less power those emotions had over me. My resentment didn’t fade entirely but it doesn’t control me anymore.

Consistency is truly a superpower when it comes to making an impact
Each week this year I’ve been emailing my subscribers which may not seem like alot but I’ve really struggled with consistency in the past. As a result I’ve had a couple of people reach out in gratitude for what I’ve been sharing.

It’s been reassuring that when I stick to something there’s someone on the otherside building an expectation to receive from me. Instead of allowing that to transform into overwhelming pressure, I’m learning to allow that to help me sustain my consistency. Rather than striving for perfection each week my goal is progress, to keep showing up as I am even when it’s not pretty.

My husband is the best support system I could ask for
During the most painful, uncomfortable, and challenging moments of my 9th month of pregnancy my husband jumped into action. This isn’t something that surprises me at all but I’m learning just how supportive he could really be. Doing the heavy lifting, putting the dishes away, putting together the baby furniture-these are things I expected.

But sitting on the floor in the bathroom with me, rubbing my back through the contractions, buying my favorite ice cream without prompting, these took me by surprise. I learned he really wants to support me in anyway he can. I decided to make a word doc with suggestions to take out the guess work so when it’s crunch time and I’m focused on my breathing, he’ll have a little cheatsheet.



Time For You To Reflect

This simple practice has helped me reconnect with what’s important in my life and allowed me to start practicing gratitude for the little things each day. I’m a firm believer that the little things one day become the big things by snowball effect, and I’m really excited to look back each month on just how much life changes each day.

May this monthly highlight blog invite you to become curious about the life you’re living, what feels good, what drains your energy, and overall what lessons you’re learning along the way. Life is being lived whether you pay attention or not, but the more you pay attention the less it feels like it’s slipping away. This way you’re actually living it with your eyes wide open.


Start where you are, with how you’re feeling, and all that’s going on within you. It’s a perfect time.

Posted in Mindfulness, Weekly Insights

Finding Gratitude and Practicing Presence

Posted on by Sabrina Renee

Nesting Intuitively

Each day this week my morning started with a strong urge to deep clean something. From the moment I opened my eyes I found myself imagining how satisfying it would be to transform a space from dirty to clean, from disorganized to everything having its home. One day it was the bathroom, from the toilet to the shower, another day it was the kitchen from the countertops to the pantry. Scrubbing, sweeping, slowly cleansing my space and transmuting the energy all around it.

There’s something so magical about having the energy and motivation to complete something that’s been on your mind, even if it only recently popped in. Cleaning is one of the most tangible ways to practice energy work because you’re quite literally transforming a space, the energy in it, and the items that occupy it. Everything is energy and if you bring intention to whatever it is you do, anything can become an offering.

There’s a palpable change in the environment when that happens, and when you can bring mindful awareness of what’s being moved, thrown away, cleaned thoroughly, or properly placed it’s like you’re waving the magic wand of change.

That’s what nesting has felt like to me and it’s been a lot of fun.

Exhausting but fun.

Exhausting because it’s coming in waves of urges that I can’t seem to suppress or logically wish away. So during the moments when I’ve attempted to tell myself “just relax you can get some of this tomorrow,” there’s a loud inner voice that instantly responds “let’s just see how much we can accomplish now.”

It’s been interesting, however, to maneuver this energy work with a big belly and swollen limbs. There are absolutely times when my body is speaking louder than my thoughts and forces me into a nap, or at least sitting down in between tasks. And believe me, I listen.

It’s been a loud reminder that intuition isn’t always woo-woo. Sometimes it’s incredibly practical, it offers guidance that you know is best for you but maybe you’ve been too distracted to listen.

Somewhere in between reorganizing the pantry and elevating my swollen ankles, there’s a voice of wisdom guiding me throughout my day. After more than half a year of transformation and change grounding me into the physical realm, it’s been pleasant to feel my intuitive senses reignite within me. Whether it’s coming in the form of nesting for my sweet babe’s arrival, or suddenly feeling like an open channel with the ability to write for three hours straight, I’m grateful, I’m open, I’m willing to be guided.

Finding gratitude in the lack of control

This week I’m grateful for the bursts of energy that have been followed by the inevitable winddown. From starting off my day like a firecracker, with focus and intention on specific tasks that are calling me, to the hot shower and red raspberry leaf tea routine at night, these moments are sculpting something beautiful in my home.

In an incredibly physical way, all these little moments are teaching me the importance of balance, the feeling of doing and being, listening and taking action. More importantly, it’s helping me understand the balance of that which I can control and that which never was in my control. When I tune into the rhythms of my intuition and the direction it’s guiding me each day, I become more trusting of the universal wisdom that is all around me. For all of the lessons I’ve learned, there are another thousand I have yet to learn, and that’s such a wonder.

Each time I follow my intuition the universe ushers me closer to where I’m meant to be, all while miracles and shifts are taking place behind the scenes, most of which I’ll never even know about. Something as small as following the “urge” or “inkling” to clean my kitchen countertop could be the smallest step in a larger vision unfolding for me. And the more I listen the deeper I establish trust in what’s to come. The more I trust in what’s unfolding the easier it will be to practice gratitude for it all, not just what I believe is working out or in what I am in control of, but for the unseen unknown parts of my life as well.

These days I’m finding gratitude in the unknown because I’m faithfully falling in love with this next chapter way before I know what’s written. I’m choosing to be grateful rather than be worried because the vibration is higher and honestly it just feels better. Even if I’m blissfully unaware of what’s to come at least I’m choosing to do so from a positive standpoint. I’m choosing to surrender the illusion of control for the belief that something greater has my back. So while admitting there will always be areas of life I can’t control, I’m also willing to accept the areas I can-like my thoughts, my mindsets, and my beliefs about what’s on the other side of the unknown chapter.

And that, my friend, is the greatest power any of us can harness.

How I’m Practicing Presence

I’m at the point in my pregnancy where the baby can come in the next 5 days or 5 weeks and still be considered in the realm of healthy. It’s easy to get wrapped up in wondering when things are going to start to happen, looking for all the signs, and listening to the old wives’ tales about which gender the baby will be. And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t swept up in those “what-ifs” every now and then. But the truth is this is the ultimate unknown territory and as a mindfulness teacher it’s the greatest curriculum I’ve come across yet.

Not knowing what motherhood looks like, not knowing exactly when my child will come earthside, now knowing how it’ll feel or what to expect, it’s the perfect opportunity to remain open. There will always be moments when worry or doubt creep in and in those moments they’ll be brief pauses between the thoughts that follow. In those pauses, I see the string of narratives created in my mind and recognize when I’ve gotten lost in the thick of it all, allowing the unknown to consume me rather than cultivate curiosity and openness.

It’s interesting, you can try and plan every detail of how something will go but the truth is everything is unknown. Sometimes it feels like that’s how the media and society promote pregnancy, as something to prepare for from the nursery and toys to the schedules and types of parenting. But as a first-time parent, I’m becoming a brand new version of myself that I’ll have to learn and figure out as I go. And that’s okay. Planning is okay and so is not knowing it all, making room for both I believe is key.

Something as transformational and unpredictable as pregnancy can really drive home the point of not being in control, while simultaneously teaching me all the ways I am.

I can control my breathing when it’s time to calm down.

I can control whether I move my body or whether I allow myself to rest.

I can control whether I fuss over when the baby will arrive or whether I chose to be present.

I’m incorporating mindfulness practice by focusing my energy where I actually have a say while calling energy back from all of the worry and doubt that drains me.

To be present doesn’t necessarily mean to feel pleasant. It doesn’t mean I have to enjoy what’s currently unfolding or have control over it by any means. Presence, rather, is the choice to be here now, no matter what. To practice presence is to be where my feet are, to observe my thoughts, to notice my attitudes and body language, and the energy I’m offering at this moment.

It’s only in the present moment that I can recognize the ways my mind is driving me to nest, or when my body is begging me to take a break from moving so much, or when it’s time to hydrate and take some deep breaths. Life is happening in the present moment always, never in the past or the future, so each time I notice myself worrying or planning or assuming I know what comes next, I remember I’m not living. I’m oscillating between thoughts of the past and the future, constantly ignoring what the present is currently offering.

The beauty of this practice is that it’s a practice, meant to be revisited consistently. The present moment doesn’t take it personally when I’ve been lost in thought, instead, it invites me back in with grace and compassion. It invites me with a deep inhale and a slow exhale.

To embrace what is.

To be here.

To notice.

To allow.

What is the present moment offering you right now?

What is it inviting you to experience?

Posted in MindBody, Practices

A Guide to Creating Conscious Change: Alignment vs Action

Posted on by Sabrina Renee

Awakening to Your Life

Mindfulness is the practice of moment to moment awareness, awakening to your life as it is. This is a simple yet powerful practice that allows you to adopt a new set of attitudes, to view your world with a fresh pair of eyes. Becoming aware of who you are and what you are doing at this moment brings you out of the thinking mind and into the body, where experiences have been happening unnoticed. By bringing your attention to the experience of your physical sensations you are learning to ground into the present moment, whereas the thinking mind will take you away from it.

Awakening to your life as it is will bring opportunities of profound change into your life. Often people choose only to look at the future to dream, or to the past for reflection as a reference for the change they want. These ways of viewing experience and creating change can only get you so far. It’s the present moment that will reveal all the things about yourself that you’d like to change and how your current lifestyle choices are shaping you as a person. Therefore, if you want to become a better version of yourself tomorrow you have to start paying attention to how you’re showing up today.

The Steps of Conscious Change

A conscious change is one that you are involved in, have contemplated thoroughly, and decide on deliberately. Now is always the best time to time to create conscious change in your life. The first step, as you already learned, is becoming aware of what needs to change. But before any change occurs willingly most people wait until they’ve become frustrated with their own ways or circumstances. The laziness will begin to annoy you, the tardiness will impact your relationships, he procrastination will ruin yet another weekend, the doubts will no longer hold up as truth. You know deep down it could be better, and you also know that the responsibility for these changes falls on you. At some point, you will have to break up with your way of living and welcome change. Choose to do it before you’re at your wit’s end and save some energy for what’s to come. Here are the 3 steps to creating conscious change or A.C.T.

  1. Awareness

    Becoming aware of what needs changing is the first and most important step. Nothing can shift in your life until you become aware of what needs to. This is the starting point for inviting the new and releasing the old, where you learn to focus on what is serving your highest good.

  2. Choice

    After taking some time to observe there’s of your life you’d like to change, you’ll then get ready to make a choice. Sometimes this choice is a giant leap into the unknown, while other times it’s a simple step in the right direction. Even if it’s a small change it can conjure up some indecisiveness within you. This step is about deciding on what feels the best rather than comparing what “would be” better. You can’t see how things will play out exactly but you can tap into your intuition and figure out what course is best for you to take.

  3. Trust

    Finally, it’s time to trust this entire process. Trust in your ability to observe what behaviors, thoughts, or habits need to change in your life. Trust that your choice is a stable one that will bring you closer to who you envision yourself becoming. Trust within your ability to consciously create an overall improved lifestyle for you. Each time you actively build inner trust you strengthen the foundation of your relationship with yourself and your ability to make things happen in your life.

Observing Misalignment

To understand whether you are on the path bringing you closer to who you wish to become, it’s important to know when you’re misaligned or veering off course. An indication that you are experiencing alignment is when you are feeling positive and pleasant emotions. Alignment is the experience of feeling good and allowing more good feelings to find you. This happens when you are thinking healthy thoughts, making choices that line up with your idea of happiness or success and position yourself in a way that invites more of this feeling. An indication of misalignment is when you are feeling negative or unpleasant emotions. In this state of being, you are allowing more of these experiences to gravitate toward you. This happens when you’re thinking of harmful or uneasy thoughts, making choices out of emotional reactivity that do not align with your idea of happiness or success.

Although alignment is the ultimate goal, it’s important that you learn to notice when misalignment is occurring. The most notable thing to become aware of is the experience arising in your body. When you’re thinking troublesome thoughts or experiencing an unpleasant moment, it does not stay only in your mind. It travels throughout the body depositing stress in pockets of your muscles, bones, and internal systems. If you can begin to link your mental experiences with your physical ones you’ll begin to uncover certain patterns of behavior that follow your thoughts. For instance, if you are thinking thoughts of self-doubt your shoulders are likely to slouch and round forward; if you are experiencing an anxious thought that may appear in the body is a fast heart rate or sweaty palms.

Once you’ve become aware of misalignment in your mind you can locate it in your body. The thought patterns you’ve created over the years are powerful and often difficult to shift into a more pleasant experience. That’s why it’s important for you to recognize how misalignment shows up in your body, because that you can change by moving. Move your body in a healthy way, go for a walk if you can, stretch your arms, roll your shoulders back and release the tension in your face, unclench your jaw and take a deep breath. All of these simple choices will help bring you toward feeling better. The closer you are to feeling better the closer you become to alignment. Once you have tapped into the feeling and experience of alignment you can begin to take action toward your goals.

Planning Your Action

Deciding to take action or make an important decision isn’t something to be done without consideration. The right plan of action taking at the wrong time could push you further back than when you started. This is where the importance of alignment comes in. Making decisions in a state of clarity will bring you closer to the change you wish to see, whereas making decisions in a state of emotional reactivity most likely won’t. Although there is a huge difference between allowing your emotions to overcome you and channeling their energy for change, some people can’t quite point out those differences. For most people, emotions running high isn’t something that you thrive off of. It’s actually more likely to stress you out than bring you clarity or confidence about what’s next. This is why alignment and action go hand in hand.

By orienting yourself in the direction of joy, happiness, and success, you are aligning with your higher self. The more you consciously align with yourself the easier it will be to take action. Think of alignment as making your way to the diving board, each step bringing you closer to what you want to do, have, or be. The closer you get the more intense you’ll experience feelings of excitement, joy, and maybe a tinge of apprehension, but you keep moving. toward what it is you want. Now imagine jumping off the diving board as your plan of action, diving into the unknown whether it be by a single step or a massive leap. Don’t rush your way into action without appreciating the role and significance of aligning yourself with what’s meant for you.

Let’s Review

Mindful awareness is the key component in creating any conscious change. Awakening to your life as it unfolds means to release resistance to the state of your life now, so that you may invite new opportunities to find you. Before you begin to make changes you must first become aware of the areas in your life and things involved that need change. In this article, I’ve mapped out 3 steps of creating conscious change that can serve as a guide to making strong decisions that instill your inner trust. By first becoming aware of what needs changing, then making a conscious choice of how to move forward, and finally learning to trust the outcome and your ability to handle it. After you’ve made your decisions and have begun to experience that inner trust, you can learn to build on it by practicing alignment.

The simplest way to practice alignment is to become aware of the moments you’re feeling good and work to invite more of that feeling. This does not mean resisting negative emotions or rejecting unpleasant experiences, these are all apart of the journey. Instead, it’s about becoming aware of both alignment and misalignment, observing and understanding how they both show up in your experience. Misalignment will be tied to negative emotions and bodily sensations of feeling contracted or tight. Being in alignment will feel more open and flowing, with pleasant thoughts and positive feelings. After you’ve become familiar with how it is you want to feel continue striving for that feeling, building up the opportunity to take action. A plan of action is powerful on its own, just like aligning yourself with how you want to experience life is powerful. however, together they become an undeniable force propelling you toward the life you are creating.

You are the creator of your life experience and you are responsible for the ways you choose to respond to the world around you. Every day you are capable of bringing yourself closer to your higher self. It’s in the choices you make, the thoughts you observe, and the behaviors you begin to uncover. Bring a sense of curiosity to what it is you’re noticing within yourself and work on releasing judgment. Who you are today doesn’t have to be defined as good or bad, right or wrong, success or failure. Practice mindfulness with how you are showing up each day as a means for understanding the person you’ve become, not condemning or judging but welcoming. Allow your experience to be one that reveals deeper levels of yourself and uses them as ways to expand.

If you want to create conscious change in your life never stop paying attention. Keep aligning with what feels good and releasing what does not. Keep coming back to the present moment and all of the wonders it has to offer. And when this road gets more challenging than you had anticipated, keep coming back to the breath. Because as long as there is another breath cycle flowing through your body, you have another chance to begin again.

Posted in Mindfulness, Personal Growth

How to Be Okay With Change

Posted on by Sabrina Renee

Expectations are a two-way street.

Expectations are the root of suffering. Without them, there would be no story to compare the present circumstance to, no other way it should have gone, and no ideal version of what could be happening if things were different.

Expectations invite more suffering by perpetuating narratives of what’s changed and what didn’t occur, taking us further away from accepting what is. And further away you move from acceptable, the further from the present moment you become.

It’s natural to create expectations for ourselves and hold them for others. Expecting life to unfold in a particular way, people to behave accordingly, or treat you in a certain way because that’s what you would do, or how you’ve always received something. It happens, humans are creatures of habit which ultimately leads to assumptions.

The thing is, people are constantly seeing life through their own unique lens, one which is cultivated by different memories, experiences, and beliefs. Two people can be looking at the same exact scenario while seeing things from completely different perspectives because of the hue of their lens.

One can see problems where another sees opportunities. Expectations are no different; where you expect something to happen you can also invite a fresh perspective to welcome change.

Inviting Suffering Unknowingly

There is a connection between what is causing you suffering right now and an expectation that has been placed upon someone or something. When something happens, someone hurts you, something didn’t go right, chances are there’s an expectation that things “should” have gone differently, better, a particular way you’d imagined in your mind.

The deeper you dig into the narrative of what should have happened, the further away you pull from alignment and the present moment. If you’re constantly focusing on circumstances of the past that can’t be changed, on people and places that can’t be controlled, or stories the mind creates, you’re wasting precious energy.

But by choosing to recognize the expectations you’re holding onto, the ones that hold you back from being with changes unfolding now, you’re moving with the current flow of energy. Instead of focusing on what could have been, you’re standing in what already is, and that’s the place decisions are made.

Dropping expectations isn’t easy, but it is possible once you begin to notice where they have a hold on you. If you’re gripping onto a story rather than reality, focusing on opinions rather than facts, clinging onto the way you believe things need to go rather than accepting the way things are, you’re going against the ebb and flow of life.

When you find yourself holding onto what isn’t and pushing away what is, it’s time to drop expectations because they’re not serving you.

Learning to Be Okay With Change

The only constant you can count on is change. Change from within, change all around, change from the people in your lives. Time is always moving forward and although you don’t have to accept that truth, it doesn’t stop it from being true.

Just because you grip tightly to what once was doesn’t mean it still is, it simply means you haven’t moved into the present moment and have decided to hold onto past expectations. That’s what it means to live a life of resistance.

Deciding to be okay with change doesn’t necessarily mean you’re comfortable with it, or even that the change is something you’ve wanted. Being okay with change is less about your opinion of it and more about acknowledging reality as it shows up. Whether you choose to respond with resistance or acceptance change is inevitable, but the prolonged suffering that accompanies that change is entirely up to you.

There are plenty of opportunities that come up in your life to drop expectations. You’ll begin to notice them once you recognize all of the expectations already set in motions, the ones you hold for yourself, others, and life in general. Some expectations get so deeply embedded that it becomes something you identify it, that’s where the challenges come in.

It’s simple, but not easy. It’s possible but difficult. You’re either rooted in what’s expected or moving toward alignment, and you can always choose again.

How to Notice Change and Expectations

To sum up, there are two states of mind this blog focuses on: autopilot and mindfulness. The difference between the two is clear: mindfulness is to bring your presence to something, to pay attention, whereas autopilot is not paying attention or tuning out.

Autopilot isn’t a negative state of mind, but it is one that doesn’t require awareness. Without awareness there’s a lack of presence freeing up your thoughts and energy to be floating elsewhere. If you’re not bringing intention to what you’re doing, there’s a chance you’re just going through the motions.

To practice mindfulness is to bring awareness to those motions, those choices, those habits and day-to-day tasks. It’s not about doing anything differently, quicker or slower, but doing it with a sense of presence and awareness. Noticing what you’re doing and paying attention to how it’s done. This is the practice that will lead you to recognize expectations.

You can learn to be with discomforts rather than push them away.

You can learn to be where you are instead of the story in the thinking mind that should have unfolded.

You can learn to be okay with change instead of putting up a fight of resistance at every turn.

You can learn to recognize when expectations have their claws deep in your beliefs, so you can practice mindfulness, turn off the autopilot, and make deliberate choices that bring you closer to acceptance.

Being okay with change really means being with the change, rather than being with the thoughts of what “would have been” easier, simpler, better, etc. To be okay with change is to be with what is, to be with what is present in your life.

The more you practice noticing your automatic habits, choices, and movements throughout the day, the more opportunities to practice mindfulness will surface. It’s in these moments of mundane everyday instinctual choices that you can invite intention and a fresh pair of eyes.

The difference between autopilot and mindfulness is your presence, a shift that happens in an instant, a choice that’s always within you. May you have the courage to make that choice today and may it bring you closer to a more peaceful version of yourself.

Check out the full live stream on Dropping Expectations and Being Okay With Change
Posted in Mindfulness, Practices

Become Aware of Your Posture

Posted on by Sabrina Renee

Understanding Body Language

Body language is a language of nonverbal cues, often expressing more than one had planned on sharing through their words. It’s as if their thoughts and inner experience were telling a story through the body, with or without their awareness.

Chances are you’ve heard a little bit about body language and may even understand some basic movements, such as having your arms crossed over your chest indicates being closed off while having your hands stacked in fists on both hips indicates a sign of confidence.

While being closed off may come off as more instinctual in certain circumstances, standing in confidence, for instance in front of a mirror, maybe a deliberate practice to elevate our mindset.

In this post, I’ll be sharing information specifically on being mindful of your posture and how it may relate to your state of mind. For a more in-depth understanding of the science of body language, check out this article 16 Essential Body Language Examples.

Noticing Your Body Throughout The Day

As with all mindfulness practices and techniques, the first step is to choose something to shine your awareness onto. Today you can anchor into the intention of paying attention to your body, specifically the neck and shoulder area, giving yourself the opportunity to let go of some extra tension.

Noticing your posture throughout the day opens your awareness to what is already happening within your body. By noticing how the body is positioned, feeling, or being supported, you are also dropping out of the busyness of thoughts and into the physical sensations happening right now. Not to mention the added benefit of helping your back and hip alignment long term, especially if you’re sitting in front of screens or living a mostly sedentary life.

Proper posture may be a challenge to keep at first but in the long run, will benefit your overall physical health. It will also appear a bit different for each person because of all body shapes, sizes, and capabilities but everyone can essentially follow these general guidelines.

A healthy posture appears as one standing or sitting as tall as possible for the shape of their back and comfortably, having their shoulders rolled back without holding tension, and dropped away from the ears, chest upright without being pushed too far out.

As a reminder, practicing mindful awareness isn’t about judging yourself for inadequacies or jumping on the urge to change whatever it is you’ve begun to notice. Mindful awareness it’s about turning on an inner light of awareness with a sense of curiosity and compassion while opening yourself to accepting what is already and considering more supportive approaches in how you respond.

A way to raise awareness of your posture is to think about the way you spend most of your day. Start by observing how active you are or how often you are seated throughout the day. Here are a few prompts you can ask yourself:

Am I on a computer or phone looking down at a screen? How often? What is my posture like while I do this?

If I am sitting most of the day, how supportive is the back of the chair or the firmness of the cushions beneath me? Is it comfortable? If not, how can I improve my seating?

Do I experience any discomfort in the neck or shoulder area throughout your day?  If so, am I taking any breaks to move, shift, or release any tightness throughout the day?

How can I be more present with my posture and my body going forward?

Connecting Thoughts and Posture

After practicing mindful awareness of your posture throughout the day, you may find your awareness expanding on its own toward other parts of your experience. The ultimate goal of noticing posture may be to change or improve it over time, but that isn’t necessarily the intention.

By choosing to become aware of your posture more often, you are also noticing how your body is reacting to different environments and stimuli. One connection in particular that can be made is the one between your posture and your thoughts.

The more you practice paying attention to the quality of your posture each day, the feel of your neck, and the weight of your shoulders, you may also gain insight into the quality of your thoughts that accompany them.

As the basics of body language teach there are two main forms of language: open and closed. As you begin to notice whether you are contracting or allowing any given experience, you may also recognize the thoughts that are guiding the feelings in your body.

For instance, catching yourself in a negative or stressful thought pattern may lead you to notice that your shoulders are scrunched toward your ears, tightening the muscles around the neck. Or maybe your environment triggers a pattern of stress and tension, ultimately causing you to tense up your body in some way.

Once you’ve noticed the connection between what you’re thinking and how your body is reacting, you can decide how to respond. A simple way to return back to a state of openness is to take a deep breath, release that tension with an exhale, and move forward with a bit more clarity than before.

It’s within these quick glimpses into how the body responds to thoughts that you can deepen your mindful awareness practice, while further understanding your reactions and responses to the world around you.

Try This Practice Today


Your posture is an important component of mental and physical alignment. The more you practice noticing the connection between your thoughts and physical sensations, such as posture and body language, the more intention can be brought to the way in which you respond.

The thoughts and physical sensations you experience correspond more often than not. Your mind and body are in constant communication so it’s important to check in with yourself throughout the day and tune into inner that conversation.

When the mind is not disciplined it is likely the body isn’t either. Be prepared for distraction as it is the nature of the mind to fluctuate, while also bringing a sense of loving awareness by directing your focus back to the body.

Carve out a few minutes today to practice awareness of your posture. Try this:

  • Take a few moments to settle into your seat or wherever you’re standing
  • Close your eyes or soften your gaze away from anything in particular
  • Tune into the feel of your body, your posture, your neck, and shoulder area
  • Now imagine a string at the top of your head leading all the way up into the sky
  • Take a deep inhale to straighten out your back, chest out, shoulders up
  • On the exhale gently drop your shoulders while keeping an elongated spine
  • Refocus your mind on the present moment
  • Repeat this practice as many times throughout the day to realign and begin again

This practice can be something you do the moment you wake up, in between transitions throughout the day, during moments of stress, or anytime you’d like to tune back into the body. My favorite thing about this practice is that it’s practical and visual, while you’re tuning back into your body (the physical) you’re also imagining what alignment looks like (the mental).

A simple practice for bringing you back into your body and the present moment, with a dash of imagination, that can be as long or as short as you’d like it to be.

Let’s Review

The body speaks through physical sensations and non-verbal cues, some of which you may even be unaware of, and it can often indicate a larger message. The words spoken may not tell the full story of what’s happening, while body language speaks volumes about how someone is feeling at that point in time. Whether they are closed off or more open, feeling comfortable or tense in their body, these bodily cues offer deeper insights that paint a bigger picture.

In order to get a better understanding of the energy you’re giving off, it’s important to start by noticing your body language, more specifically your posture. The area of the shoulders and neck could tell a lot about the “weight” one may be carrying physically, mentally, or emotionally. It can also shed some light on their response to stress during day-to-day activities and responsibilities.

By taking the time to practice tuning into how often you have proper or poor posture, you may also gain insight into the quality of your thoughts. There is a strong connection between what someone is thinking and how their body is responding to those thoughts. Since the mind is considered the intelligence center while the body is considered to be a vehicle or vessel, it’s important to be mindful of the connection between the two.

Cultivating a mindfulness practice around your posture will eventually expand your awareness of thoughts, thought patterns, and the amount of time spent on autopilot or in the thinking mind. While the ultimate goal may be to improve posture, the intention is simply to begin noticing what’s already happening. Adopting an attitude of non-judgment and loving awareness will help you stay consistent with your mindfulness practice.

By noticing posture you are intentionally tuning into the body, therefore dropping out of the thinking mind even if just for a few moments a day. These moments matter and over time add up to a significant investment through the journey of inner work journey.

May you have the courage to tune in today, and remember you can always come back to the here and now.