Posted in Mindfulness, Self-Love

I wish I were here

It is too heavy to hold on to the mistakes we have made in the past. It is too vast of thought to worry about what-ifs. The only logical way to live is in the moment. Right now life is happening to us.

We are creating memories, overcoming obstacles, laughing out loud or crying about a devastating loss. Living life to its fullest potential comes with experiencing emotion with great intensity. It is easy to become frightened by what we experience deeply but we should never let this fear make us cowardly.

We should embrace all of our feelings, whether we label them negative or positive. We must remain present with them. We heal and learn through the worst of times by understanding that it is temporary. We rejoice and celebrate through the best times by being grateful because it is temporary.

Letting go of anything but the present I feel light and full, together. Worries are lifted from me while acceptance keeps me grounded at this moment.

In the past when I have experienced pure joy I notice myself go from being fulfilled to questioning its intensity and duration of stay. I used to doubt everything in front of me because I knew it would change, maybe not soon but sometime down the road. Instead of using the time to appreciate my life at the moment I would anticipate how it could be, ultimately wasting my thoughts on ones that cannot be answered without experiencing it.

Our brains are programmed to be one step ahead but our memories push that even further and begin expecting the worst. We associate whatever situation we are currently going through with a time when it didn’t work out.

Reminding future me how much it hurt consequently steals the well deserved moment of happiness from the present me. It is almost as if our brain is training us to get hurt, to get disappointed, to get our hearts broken but we could never really be prepared.

To be mindful is to accept without judgment that this is your life today. What we think we become so the answer lies within us. When our mind brings us to the negativity we have to stop those thoughts by taking deep breaths and remembering to be still.

Be here with the happiness you will one day miss, be here with the sadness that will one day pass, and be here with the people that could be gone tomorrow.

Today I choose to be awake. I feel with the same intensity I always have just with an added understanding that I do not own this feeling. I possess it for the time being and will make the best out of it. It may hurt me or it may heal me but it will always teach me.

Nothing is too good to be true, we are all deserving of happiness and goodness in our lives. Our minds are just not entirely sure how to receive such joy without matching it with disappointment. Letdowns and bumps in the road are guaranteed but the happiness you feel at this very moment in time is not. Someone wishes they could feel that way.

At some point in your life, YOU probably wished for this feeling to overcome you. When it does do not hold on to it for it is not yours. Do not let go simply because it may one day fade. Be with everything you feel until it is time for it to pass and keep your heart open for what lies ahead.

Stay Mindful

Posted in Poems

Strength

I’m strong now.

From the depth of my soul

To the soles of my shoes.

But sometimes forget

I wasn’t always her.

You see the past is a blur

When you wanna forget

The remaining regrets.

But they fuel me.

These thoughts of time

Forcefully remind

This brain of mine

That there is no going back.

To what once was,

And it’s all because

I gave my all

Just to get here.

When I was lower than dirt

I pushed through the hurt.

Now I know my worth

Cause I fought for this.

But sometimes I forget

And it’s sad but true

That which makes you happy

Can often blind you.

But when it feels good

You shut your eyes

And now you’re surprised

At how you got here.

But It’s different this time

Not the painful kind.

And so this blissful mind

Begins leading me.

To a happy place.

I tried to slow my pace

But reality slipped without a trace

And I don’t know where the time went.

So I remind myself

Of my mental health

And the importance of being quiet.

Attempting to be still,

While chasing the thrill.

I can’t seem to keep my feet on the ground.

I think I’ve I finally found

The source of my chaos.

I hold on too tight

At the thought it might

Not be this way again.

But attachment is pain

So I must remain

And accept the emotions as they come.

When the moment is done

Acceptance has begun.

I can’t start to run

And chase down a feeling.

I must force myself to see

How important it is for me

To breathe in and out.

And don’t forget about

How much I fought to get here.