Healing

Where It All Began For Me

Posted on September 9, 2019 by Sabrina Renee

Have you ever become a version of yourself that is cringe-worthy to acknowledge?

Have you ever struggled to face yourself in the mirror and the choices you’ve made?

Have you ever lost yourself in someone else’s world?

Where do you even begin to pick up the pieces?

For me it started with the breath.

Sit With Yourself

My journey begins with a life shattering heartbreak, and by life shattering I mean the world as I knew it no longer existed. I didn’t leave because I fell out of love, in fact that’s what made it so hard. The love I felt for my partner was deeper than the love I felt for myself, that’s why I left. My intuition grew so loud that I could no longer ignore the call to walk away, even though I had no idea what life would be like on the other side. Something told me it was time to take the first step away from pain and into something new, even if I couldn’t see the next 100 feet in front of me.

Leaving a toxic relationship left me sad, fragile, and unhealthy. My soul knew I was meant for more, my mind couldn’t escape the life I had just left, and my body was too tired to make a move. After months of anxiety, depression, and essentially living in fight or flight mode, I knew a change needed to be made. There would be no divine intervention, or magical sign from above. It wouldn’t happen if I moved to another country to begin a new life. No matter where I went or what I did, the suffering would follow me, so I knew the change needed to happen from within.

I’ll never forget the day I decided to make a conscious effort to heal my broken self. Lying in a bed with tear soaked tissues and sheets that stunk like me, I finally asked myself “what can you do in this moment to get closer to something better, and away from this feeling?” The answer was to sit. Whether this is the right answer or not I’ll never know, but that was the answer that surfaced for me. I only had energy to change positions, so I went from lying down to sitting up.

It didn’t seem like much but it got my mind working in a different direction, a voice inside my head responded to my action by asking “now what?” Suddenly it hit me. In that moment I realized asking yourself the right questions will lead you to get answers that move you forward. Questions are what either fuel the rumination of negative thoughts or what fuel the momentum in a positive direction. I finally began to see that I did have some control over what I was going through, but I still felt overwhelmed by change. So the next thing I did was close my eyes and let out a huge sigh. I decided to sit and just breathe.

I didn’t know much of what meditation was, or the benefits, or even if I understood at that moment that I was meditating. But I was aware that the only thing I had control over in that moment was my position and my breath, so I went with it. What felt like an hour was most likely just short of 10 minutes, and when I opened my eyes nothing around me changed. I still felt sad, bitter, anxious- although slightly less; but each time I brought my attention back to the exhale something was different. It was in those brief moments that I wasn’t defined by my emotions, my experience, or even my physical sensations. In those tiny glimpses of a second that I could focus on my breath I became the awareness behind my experiences.

Just a glance at a different way of thinking, a simple taste of a slightly better perception, was all I needed to believe my life was in my hands. I started to see the next 100 feet.

And So The Self-Discovering Journey Begins

After that day I vowed to always come back to my breath, no matter where my thoughts take me or what my body wishes we were doing instead of being still. I promised I would sit with my discomfort until it revealed what it was here to teach me. I began to understand that I was operating from 3 different points of view: my past, my present, and my future self. So I decided to explore all of me and get to know my true self. In order for me to heal I needed to know who was controlling my thinking mind in the moment, and how to align it with my current actions. Getting to know my three selves allowed me to accept my painful past, come back to the present moment, and accept the possibility that I could create an even brighter future.

The more I began to control my mindset and attitudes the more my goals of health expanded. It was challenging to look in a mirror, put on clothes, and carry conversations with others because I was so deeply uncomfortable in my own skin. I started asking myself how I wanted to feel, rather than focusing on how low I was feeling, and that began my journey of 3 fold health.

Focusing on health as a three-fold process meant mental, physical, and spiritual healing. In all of these ways I was weak, learning how to use muscles that have been dormant for so long took patience and consistency. I started meditating and writing about my journey daily, while working out 3 times a week. Just getting to the gym on some days was the accomplishment, but as time went on I increased the duration of workouts and amount of times I exercised weekly.

Fitness became an outlet for me to express my strength, growth, and ability to push my own limits. I loved who I was becoming, not because I was putting more weight on or because I was finally using double digit weights, but because I remembered where I started. I knew I wanted to help others find this personal power within themselves, so I began studying to become a personal trainer.

The more I got to know my true self the more I understood I’m not alone in this struggle of self. And just like with the journey of getting stronger physically, I wanted to help others dig deep into their personal power of knowing and loving themselves unconditionally. The deeper I got to know myself the more passionate I became about sharing my knowledge, insights, and experiences with other women who were just as lost as I once was. This sparked the idea to pursue a career of teaching women the power of 3 fold fitness, so I began studying to become a mindfulness teacher.

That Person Led Me Here…

My solution was to forgive myself, accept myself, and become the greatest version of myself- because I owed that to me. I promised the fragile girl crying on the bed I’d grow into the person she needed most that day, a healer. In that moment I would have never believed it to be possible to be who I am today, sharing these messages, loving what I do all while creating positive ripple effects in the world. It’s not about knowing the outcome or having a set deadline for your aspirations. It’s about sitting with yourself, getting to know who that is, having the courage to release all that burdens you and start holding onto what brings you closer to your purpose. The more I aligned my choices, decisions, and daily habits with my future self’s lifestyle, the more I began to attract that way of being into my life. My mission is to help lead you inward to your personal power by opening up and sharing what led me to mine. I don’t believe we all have to hit rock bottom to find our true purpose, and my wish is that you have the courage to believe that whoever you are, and where ever you start, you are enough to make it happen today.

MindBody

Overcoming Self-Doubt: A Mini Guide to A Healthier Self

Posted on September 6, 2019January 26, 2021 by Sabrina Renee

A thought that is fed emotion gains a super strength. From there it has the ability to create possibilities or limitations, depending on the quality of the feeling. Experiencing doubt is a mental virus that spreads through all aspects of your life. A thought as simple as “I don’t think I can do this” starts to attract other defeating thoughts until you begin believing them.

Changing a particular way of thinking is not going to happen quickly, and that’s a good thing. While you practice positive thoughts layers of your own mind will be uncovered, as you get to know the REAL you.

The authentic self that is innately good, healthy, happy and free of worry. It took years of past experiences to accumulate your self doubt so be patient as you begin to shift toward a mindset of belief.

It’s time to start ripping out the negative weed

and replace it with an affirming seed.

What to Do in Moments of Doubt

All goals must have a plan, discipline is a fundamental principle of that plan. Lasting behavior change takes constant action toward becoming the healthier version of you. If you want to be, do, and think better than you are today it takes practice.

Practice thinking with confidence, practice making the optimal choice, practice being aware of your thoughts and actions. If you are struggling to gain control over thoughts start by shifting your mind’s attention.

Here is a list of questions, affirmations, and tips that will help you slowly begin thinking healthier thoughts about yourself. Ask yourself these questions when the mental chatter becomes overbearing, and continue asking until you reach something positive.

There are no right or wrong answers.

**Only responses that either propel you toward your goal or hold you back from it.**

Questions: Check in with the mind

Inner dialogue: Am I listening to my inner critic or an inner companion? Which voice is bringing me closer to the mindset I wish to acquire?

Affirming the life you want for yourself: Am I focusing on what I want or what I’m afraid of? If the focus is on all that can go wrong, what are three things that can go right?

Practice healthy disciplines: What can I do to start and end my day on a positive note? How can I stay on track daily even when life gets busy?

Tips: Check in with your body

Importance of posture

Slouching is a good indicator that your thoughts are running wild. Take a deep breath, straighten out your back, exhale, relax your jaw, and drop your shoulders.

Fueling your body vs filling it up

Plan your meals so you aren’t stuck eating something that will leave you tired, sluggish, and further from feeling better about yourself. Fruits, veggies, and nuts are quick snacks to help give you more energy. And of course, stay hydrated, drink plenty of water throughout the day especially when working out.

Intentional movement

Working out is good for your mind, body, and soul. If you don’t have the time for a workout you can always go for a walk outside, stretch out your body, or dance around to your favorite playlist. Reward your muscles for keeping up with your demands.

Past present future self

Remember where you came from, but don’t live in those memories. Let go of your mistakes and learn from them for your future self. Consider how you want your future to unfold and the actions you’re taking to get there.

Be present with the people around you and the places you visit. Rather than focusing on how long is left on the journey to your goals, express gratitude for where you are and how far you’ve come. Appreciate the moments that fly right by.

**Practices: Implementing simple and fun healthy habits**

It’s important to prioritize your time wisely, especially for having fun. This way you don’t feel guilty for indulging and you still get things accomplished. You deserve a healthy life balance and you also have to be the one to create it.

Do something FUN

When was the last time you did something INTENTIONALLY because it made you happy?

Moving your body and taking care of your mind can feel fun, but there’s a deeper meaning of health behind it. It’s easy to sit behind television and allow a program to make you happy, so challenge yourself to find happiness within an activity. Try something like coloring, journaling, listening to music, or anything else that makes you engage. Prioritize time for something that will help elevate your mood. If you can’t think of anything think about what you loved to do as a kid and go from there.

Stillness between activities(meditation)

Transitioning your mindset from busy to relaxed or sleeping to active is essential to achieve optimal results.

Take the time to pay attention to your mental chatter and the emotional direction it is pulling you in. When you have a handle on your mood there is a better sense of control over whatever situation arises. Be prepared mentally, physically, and emotionally for what you are transitioning to throughout the day.

Visualization

Set aside 10-20 minutes to set intentions for the day

Each day you are given a fresh set of opportunities to be happier, healthier and more successful than yesterday. To create that life you must visualize what it looks like and the ways it can unfold. Think about how you want to feel and how you wish to impact others. Planning your day each morning makes it easier to adapt to various obstacles. Consider the choices you can easily make today that will push you closer to your best self until you’re there!

These questions, tips, and practices are a great starting point to begin shifting your mindset toward confidence. Overcoming self-doubt won’t happen quickly, but in time and with consistent practice you will begin to see massive changes. Be relentless in your pursuit of confidence and peace of mind. Keep pushing your mind into a positive space until it turns into a habit. Watch how easily your life begins to flow.

Moving Through Life With Confidence

Planting seeds of faith takes time and consistent practice, so does becoming aware of where self-doubt lives. So check in with your body: what does it need right now? Keep asking yourself the questions that bring you closer to living with confidence and clarity. Visualize the lifestyle, feelings, and circumstances you want to walk through in life. Allow yourself to be still so that you spirit can catch up to how busy your mind moves.

LOVE.HEAL.GROW.

Healing

What Is Inner Work?

Posted on September 6, 2019 by Sabrina Renee

Throughout this self-discovering journey, there have been lots of doing and undoing, learning and unlearning, even some relearning about the world and who I was in it. There were punches to the gut, stumbles, falls, and long hard looks at the choices made. It wasn’t easy, and I’d be lying if I told you that years later it becomes easy. Honestly, I hope it never does because the stuff that challenges you is what changes you from the inside out. It’s what makes people squeamish when recalling their embarrassing moments, or the regretful choices made when they were acting as a lower vibrational version of themselves. It’s the layer of self-care nobody is talking about.

Inner work is the nitty-gritty discomfort life is handing you to face, THAT is your life’s lesson plan. It’s about reflecting on the past to gain wisdom rather than pass judgment. Your life is your teacher and you learning to own all that you are is one of the greatest tools in your mental tool belt. But if you don’t learn how to utilize it for the greater good it will absolutely be used against you.

Ownership is a tool of power within the mind that is either handed off to others or held tightly within our grasp. Think about the times you’ve felt insecure or fearful, isn’t it linked to a past experience or assumption of what may happen? So rather than utilizing the ownership tool, you’ve given someone or something access to it, allowing an outside source to direct the choices you make. The most painful part of all is the only one affected by the consequences of that choice….is you.

Inner work is a constant, consistent and conscious choice to be made every single day about who you wish to be in this world. Each day you start over again with compassionate tenacity, reminding yourself to love who you are in this moment while making a conscious effort to grow. Growth and healing are not linear and do not always have to appear as moving forward. Sometimes it looks like taking 3 steps back just to see how much faster and kinder you bounce back. Inner work takes patience and strength coming back to the purpose for your growth, remembering the pain you were caused yet learning not to stay in that mental place too long. It’s about learning wanting to make that choice that feels innate but instead choosing to pause to ask yourself, “Does this feel right or is this just the easier way?”

When you work on what is weighing you down within, your outer environment begins to change. It’s important to start taking notice of what no longer serves you by asking how someone or something makes you feel. Maybe certain behaviors are normal in your daily life simply because you’ve been doing them for years, but they don’t necessarily make you feel like your best self. This can often be a challenging transition so it’s good to focus on embracing the things you do appreciate and enjoy. Take some time to get to know yourself, re-learn your interests with an open beginner’s mindset and see what you discover.

There are 4 Pillars of Inner Work.

(click the link to download the free guide explaining each step and how to transition)

1.Own it

2. Love, forgive, recommit

3.Let go of what no longer serves you

4.Focus on embracing the new

Simply put take ownership for where you are, forgive where you were, recommit everyday to where you want to go, release what burdens you and focus on all the good things to come. When working on yourself start from the inside because that’s what really matters. At the end of our lives we will look back to reflect on how life was lived. The outer appearance changes just like the seasons, and we are left with memories of the person we wished we were.

Don’t wait to wish you made a conscious effort to heal yourself and let love in. Don’t let opportunities slip by because you’re too uncomfortable to face your fears. Don’t shy away from your truth because things will have to change. Take a look at yourself today and ask:

What is my purpose and how can I begin fulfilling it?

How do I want to feel looking back on my life?

Why am I waiting to start?

The 4 Pillars of Inner Work

Know Better: Magic vs Logic

Since childhood my head has been filled with extraordinary ideas. Any idea that I was passionate about I held on to tight. I would dream about it, write about it, talk about it and begin to work towards it. Thinking it through with logic and dissecting what could go wrong if I pursued it was never a strong suit of mine. In fact I don’t believe any child should follow a dream with that kind of thinking. If I wanted it and believed in it there was no reason in sight why it couldn’t become a reality. Having others share my excitement and enthusiasm for these ideas was of great importance to me, sometimes just as important as my own opinion. If someone close to me did not agree, or see the possibilities, I allowed the negativity to take over.

When I would share these thoughts I held high expectations to the responses people gave me. If I didn’t receive positive feedback it felt as if someone let the air out of my dream. I was discouraged, frustrated and let down. I allowed other people’s reaction to validate my way of viewing the world. Some couldn’t fathom how it could be done while others gave me reasons as to why it would be too hard to accomplish. After a while the points were making complete sense and logic seemed so much stronger than magic ever could be.

In order for me to truly be happy and keep my passion alive I knew had to change my idea of acceptance. It took years for me to see how detrimental it is to give anyone that type of power over a decision that is ultimately my own to make. Everyone has different mindsets to go with different dreams and no one needs to agree for it to be possible. I decided I was no longer going to allow approval or validation to come from anywhere other than within.

As a grown woman I have vowed to keep the passionate child within me alive. The difference is now I am careful who I share my ideas with. I am conscious of the energies that wish me well and those who do not. At times I still find myself becoming discouraged due to the actions or beliefs of others, particularly if they are hurtful. Instead of getting frustrated I have decided to thank myself for being able to notice when my emotions take the lead, forgive myself and begin again.

It has not always been easy to turn a negative circumstance into a positive lesson. It takes moments of stillness to collect my thoughts and constant reminders to forgive and be kind. It takes a great amount of mental discipline to keep all of this in mind while remembering never to take it personal. I must extend these feelings of love and acceptance to those around me as well, especially for those who do not wish the same for me. Being mindful of my sensitivity toward actions out of my control has proven to be a way of strengthening my patience and understanding. It has also taught me that the intentions of others are not to prohibit me from striving toward my ultimate goal. This obstacle continues to appear in different times and events along my path, helping me grow into the person who is capable of becoming successful while remaining full of compassion, empathy and love.

Logic states something is valid within a particular set of principles and/or strict rules.

Magic gives us the freedom to believe anything is possible.

Believe.

#StayMindful

Mindfulness, Personal Growth

A Day of Mindfulness: A Life Long Messsage

Posted on September 13, 2016 by Sabrina Renee

A Sunday well spent

At 7:45 am I set off to the Blue Cliff monastery which is surrounded by mountains in upstate New York. The ride was about an hour and a half, 45 minutes consisted of miles and miles of immense trees. It began to drizzle and quickly stopped, as the grey clouds separated revealing a beautiful autumn sky. The closer I got to the mountains the fluffier they became, almost as if the clouds were aware of my plans and were conspiring to set the tone. After having an intense week filled with stress and responsibilities I had been counting down the minutes until I began my day of mindfulness. It was finally here.

Upon my arrival the monks and visitors had already begun singing Buddhist songs of love and peace, setting a welcoming vibe as I walked across Mindfulness Road to join them. As we put hands together in gratitude I looked around at the handful of people I’ve never met and yet felt at home with. Experiencing different walks of life that inevitably brought us all together for a day of peace and calm. Collectively we bowed our heads and set an intention before starting our mindful walk through the forest. For the mindful walks I have done in the past I usually focus my attention on my feet; slowly placing my left heel down and then my right, almost as if I’m walking in slow motion. This time I decided to change my intention to focusing on my breath and simply appreciating life.

If you’ve never heard of or experienced a mindful walk I highly suggest giving it a try. There are many different types of mindful practices, all of which consist of paying attention to an action, or actions that we usually don’t give a second thought to. We are turning off our autopilot and noticing it as if it were the first time. The mindful walk allows us a chance to view walking from a different perspective. We get from one point to another and often never pay attention to the in between. The how. It helps us practice gratitude for this simple act that we do every day.

For the most part the mindful walk was silent, only the sounds of footsteps crunching twigs and the wind that kept us company. When we first began it was difficult to silence my thoughts, especially because I had such a stressful week. It felt as if every second my mind thought of something else to distract me. Whether it was wandering into responsibilities waiting for me at home or replaying the events of the past week, focusing was difficult. Remembering my intention was to focus on my breath, I reminded myself of just that, over and over and OVER again. After walking for about 30 minutes we paused for a few moments to just be. Be grateful, be patient, be still. Above me trees were swaying while others were immovable, all of them unapologetically beautiful in their stance. There were tiny chipmunks unseen but absolutely heard, while the birds were quietly in the open. Our walk continued and there were many different statues of Buddha surrounded by piles of 3 rocks on top of one another. People interpret this in different ways. I saw this as a chance to acknowledge that I was at peace and that I have the power to cultivate this at anytime.

“By realizing my emotion I understand impermanence.”

After our mindful walk through the forest we were given sometime to ourselves before sitting in on the dharma talk. I chose to use this time to watch the clouds of course, after all this is my favorite pass time. They were so beautiful I almost lost track of time. The breeze picked up and blew cool mountain air all around. I felt peace of mind for the first time in…I can’t remember when. I headed over to listen to the wisdom of the monk speaking. As she walked in, and again when she sat down, we joined our hands and bowed in gratitude together. Before beginning we collectively paid our respects to those who lost their live 15 years prior on the morning of September 11th. Strangers coming together to create a peaceful and loving feel on such a profound morning. The energy in the room was comforting.

The topic of the talk overall was how our emotions change due to the behavior of others. The example given was when someone does something we do not like we put them in a negative category in our mind. Once someone, or an event, is placed into a particular category it is not likely that we will cleanse our mind of those thoughts and labels. This got me thinking about the stressors I have been experiencing and the labels I have created for them. Just as I had experienced a bad day, or few days, so could the people who upset me. I felt my judgment toward them melt away. I decided that every being in my life had the right to a clean slate, just like me. We were then given a breathing exercise to try: when we inhale we realize the emotion that we are currently feeling, when we exhale we acknowledge the behavior caused by these powerful emotions. Listening to her speak was a life changing experience for me. Her words flowed through the room as if this were all so simply to understand, therefore easy to embody the next time an obstacle feels impossible to get through. Later on in the day I practiced this meditation next to a statue of Buddha and placed my own three rocks atop one another.

She continued on to explain the concept of nondualism. “We are not the same, but we are not different.” What I took from this is that we are all interconnected and yet still individuals who can not be compared to one another. As the lesson continued I began to understand how our emotions tie into nondualism. When a person or event causes us to experience a certain emotion we are quick to judge, and often not change the judgment we have passed until another experience occurs. This is because we have judged ourselves as well, creating an us vs them mentality. Nondualism embodies the principle that we do not have to have similar interests, lifestyles or mindsets for us to thrive together as human beings. It is imperative for humanity to accept that difference does not mean distance, rather it could present the possibility for an opportunity of understanding another way of life. The broader we expand our horizons the faster we break down the barriers between knowledge and ignorance, comfort and fear. When the dharma talk concluded I felt a shift in my being. I felt a boost of confidence in my ability to spread peace and love. Above all else I felt compelled to share these beautiful words with as many people as possible. If you’ve read this until the end, thank you. Do not underestimate the power of positivity. Please pass it on to someone who can benefit from these lessons. Namaste.
#StayMindful