Tag: InnerWork

Posted in Healing, MindBody

Coping With Anxious Mind

Posted on by Sabrina Renee
“Problems cannot be solved with the same mindset that created them.“
-Albert Einstein

 

If you’ve experienced the power of anxiety you understand that it can often paralyze your mind and body. When your thinking gets hijacked by anxious thoughts it can create havoc in your life and quickly destroy inner peace. It’s possible to understand how to cope with an anxious mind but first, you have to get ahead of it. Taking back your thoughts starts with changing your thinking.

 

The time to learn how to redirect your thoughts isn’t in the midst of an anxious moment. It isn’t when you’re body is reacting to the emotion you’re experiencing. It definitely isn’t when you’ve already taken a negative action toward yourself or another person. The right time to understand the importance of redirecting your thoughts and shifting your focus is before it arises again.

 

Coping With An Anxious Mind

Coping with an anxious mind is a marathon, not a sprint and the training is extensive. The mental exhaustion caused by the creation of hypothetical scenarios is enough to keep you indecisive and filled with fear. That same amount of energy can be utilized to rewire the mind to focus the attention on the present moment.

As with all change, it begins with awareness of yourself. It requires a practice of separating the components of anxiety, understanding the mind and body connection, and implementing pause to practice responding appropriately to the experience. The separation exercise is what I use and teach my client, to break anxiety into 3 tangible parts: Thoughts, Physical Sensations, and Behaviors.

 

Each person’s level of anxiety differs from manageable to debilitating, with multiple levels in between. By understanding the cycle of anxiety you can acquire the tools to combat it when it rears its ugly head, no matter how intense it is. It’s essential to separate yourself from anxiety-producing thoughts such as self-doubt, fear, angst, scarcity, etc. The thinking mind is one of the first things to get hijacked when under anxiety’s grip, therefore it’s important to practice noticing when it begins creeping up. 

 

How to Take Action

The trick to communicating positively with your thinking mind is to ask the right questions. If you ask “why do I feel this way?” you’ll typically start spiraling even quicker into whatever negative emotion you’re feeling. However, if you try asking yourself “how can I feel better?” you’ll get a more direct answer leading you away from how you feel and toward where you want to feel.

 

  • What thoughts are you experiencing right now?
  • What questions am I willing to do to heal from here?
  • How can I feel stronger? Happier? In control? More confident? 

 

Physical sensations in the body are connected to the thoughts you are thinking, emotions you are feeling, or behaviors you are choosing to act on. An example of this anxiety would be heart palpitations, sweaty palms, dry mouth, tight chest, clenched fists, etc. This is the body reacting to warn you of danger or protect you because it perceives your anxiety as life-threatening.

When you zoom out of the severity of the situation, or when you’ve finally calmed down, it seems silly to have jumped to such intense conclusions. But the truth is the mind and body were working together to keep you safe and protected, from yourself. 

The solution? Start paying attention to your body like it’s a science experiment through mindful awareness. This exact process helped me combat debilitating anxiety and I believe with some consistent practice, patience, and a smidge of humor you could do the same.

Start by taking notice of how your body is reacting. State it to yourself without judgment, be curious, open, and present at this moment. Avoid words like good, bad, scary, always, never, happy, sad, exciting, nervous, etc. Describe your experience with facts only, not emotion or past experience. 

 

“My heart is beating very fast, interesting.”

“My palms are sweaty, huh.”

“My breath is shallow.”

“My stomach/chest feels tight.”

After each observation, take a few deep breaths, inhaling through the nose and exhaling through the mouth. Make your exhalation a bit longer than the inhalation to relax the muscles, letting your mind and body know you are taking control now.  

 

Behaviors are decisions you come to after your thoughts have driven you to choose a particular path. However, behaviors under the influence of anxiety are intoxicated with whatever emotion you are feeling.

For instance, if your anxiety is fueled by fear of public speaking, your thoughts will trick you into thinking you are inadequate, and your physical sensations may be a closed throat and trembling body, therefore your behavior will be to never practice public speaking. Because you were under the influence of fear you’ve lost out on the opportunity to rise to the occasion of trying something new.

To be sure you are choosing your behaviors with a wise mind practicing pause is a significant practice. Before you make a choice under the influence of anxiety pause. Run through the ‘thought questions’, check in with your physical sensations, and decide if you’re capable of making a conscious decision right now.

When your thinking mind has been hijacked by anxiety everything has a sense of urgency, time is flying by, and each decision feels as if it needs to be made quickly. More than likely there is plenty of time to take time to sober up your thinking through deep breaths, come back to the present moment, and make a conscious effort to think clearly again.

 

Let’s Review

The thoughts in your thinking mind are influenced by the emotions you have or currently are experiencing. These emotions are what fuel the behaviors and decisions you choose. By practicing the separation exercise each day you can get a better understanding of what your triggers are, how they influence your decisions, and what it will take to take control over your thinking.

Remember, you don’t want to consider your exit strategy when the building is already on fire. Start working on your thoughts and noticing what experiences they lead to before you fall into the tight grips of anxiety.

 

Dealing with anxiety is in no way an easy feat, and rewiring your thinking process won’t be either. The choice you need to make is, which difficult road will bring you closer to solutions and peace of mind?

Love. Heal. Grow.

Learn how to manage your reactions to stress. Click here to join my free Stress Relief Workshop.

Posted in MindBody

How to Manage Your Energy and Own The Day

Posted on by Sabrina Renee

There will be days that you wake up ready to take on everything with a positive attitude and assertive attitude. There will be days that you wake up focused on the tasks and responsibilities you’re reluctant to show up for.

If the energy of your day is left to chance or fleeting moods, you’ll surrender your power to the environment, people, and happenings that surround you. You’ll be led by their intentions, their agendas, and you’ll be swallowed up in their world. Meanwhile, you’re feeling lethargic and misaligned, chalking it up to just another bad day. But the truth is your approach to the day is what labels it positive, negative, or indifferent.

 

 

Thought Management

Thoughts will lead the way if they are given the power. Considering the fact that most people are unaware of their thought patterns or even how to notice their thought patterns, it’s likely the thoughts are unconsciously calling the shots. Mindful awareness is a practice of bringing nonjudgmental attention to who and how you are being in this moment. Practicing mindful awareness is the bridge between the discontent you’re experiencing inside your mind and making a conscious change in your mindset.

 

Becoming aware of the thoughts you are constantly focusing on is a simple task. Start by noticing the first 5 thoughts you have in the morning. Sounds easy right? Actually, it is! The challenging part is bringing attention to them without judging them by placing labels like a negative, positive, or indifferent. Instead, practice choosing an approach of curiosity. Rather than allowing the feelings related to these thoughts to morph into the mood you choose for the day, practice choosing a thought that is aligned with your higher self.

 

Without getting too deep into spiritual teachings, your higher self is the very best version of who you already are. Each of us has innate goodness within, which is all deserving of an abundance of well-being and joy. The more life you experienced the harder those feelings of goodness came naturally, and the more they become undone and interrupted by the stimuli being consumed daily.

 

As you got older it seemed easier to adapt the defeated attitudes that excuse you from doing the difficult stuff, and that began taking a toll on your overall well-being. The higher self version of you is simply waiting for you to take off the layers blocking your success, but only you can take action and begin removing what no longer serves you.

 

The higher self is the version of you that’s in alignment with what is best for the mind, body, and spirit’s health. Every person’s higher self is essentially a more evolved and wise version. Although you are the same person, there is a path of growth and change separating you. That path begins with the awareness you choose to bring to the parts of you that are burdening your progress. The opportunities to make progress lie in your thinking, choices, in the daily habits and behaviors you choose every day.

 

Thought management becomes easier to understand and digest once you’ve accepted that you can absolutely control what you focus your attention on. If this concept is difficult to accept I encourage you to make a conscious effort to focus your attention on how you want to think and feel.

 

Managing your thoughts does not mean falsely believing the opposite of your current thought, and it’s certainly not about ignoring the emotions that surface as a result. Thought management is becoming aware of the thinking pattern that already exists within your mind, releasing judgment of it, and learning how to choose a different route of thought.

 

Remember the speed and intensity of your thoughts are not new, you’re just finally deciding to tune in, which is the first step toward taking back your control. After you’ve practiced noticing the patterns and the judgmental labels attached to them, it’s time to shift your attention to how you want to feel. Maybe you don’t know yet, and that’s the beauty of self-awareness, there is always more ground to cover.

 

 

Energy Management

Throughout the day the energy you experience is influenced by a multitude of factors. Nevertheless, the energy you experience is entirely your responsibility. Specifically, if you are wearing different hats throughout the day (partner, parent, boss, employee, student, friend) you have to hold yourself to a higher standard of energy.

 

The type of energy you bring into a work meeting is extremely different from the type of energy you bring home to your family. In order to manage the energy, you’re experiencing, as well as prepare your energy levels for an approaching task, you need to know how you want to feel.

 

There are a few ways to get to know more about your energy. You can start by getting in touch with the energy you are already experiencing, and get curious about how you feel and what it took to get to this point. When transitioning from one task to another, it’s essential that you check in with the energy you are bringing.

 

Be intentional about the energy you are expressing with yourself, with others, and emitting out into the world. Start by asking “How do I want to feel?” and “How do I want to invite others to feel?” If you’re experiencing happiness or joy ask yourself what thoughts and/or experiences brought you to this level? After you experienced something did you continue to fuel those thoughts and ignite the flames generating more intensity around the emotion?

 

Another way you can understand your energy better is by reverse engineering. Start by focusing on the energy, feeling, and/or emotion you want to feel. For some people, it’s easy to jump right into that state just with the thought of it, while others struggle with matching that feeling. If it’s difficult to shift break down what it would take to get you into that state, starting with effective questions such as:

 

  • How can I get closer to an elevated mood?

  • What thoughts will bring me to increase my energy?

  • When I struggle to stay in this state, what should I bring my focus to?

  • What word, phrase, or thought could I use as an anchor in this feeling?

  • It’s also important to dive deep into your answer because saying you want to feel good isn’t specific enough.

 

Let’s Review

Life circumstances can rarely be controlled, if ever. Your personal power lies in how you show up and the response you choose. Working to improve both your mindset and vitality is the greatest investment of your time. The reward will be a healthier mind, an energized body, and a fulfilled soul that impacts the lives of those they encounter.

 

Thoughts create things and energy never dies, it only transforms. Both thoughts and energy will lead the way if you surrender internal power. But if you consciously choose to make time and energy management a priority, the reward will show up in your life ten times over. Stop leaving your days to change and start preparing for the days of lower vibrations and negative emotions. Don’t wait until the building is on fire to think of an exit strategy, stay two steps ahead of the stimuli around you, and always consider what serves your higher self.

 

Love. Heal. Grow.

If you enjoyed this article check out this podcast episode: The 6 Energy Healing Habits
Posted in Growth

Doing The Daily Inner Work

Posted on by Sabrina Renee

The person reading this post today was not made overnight, he/she was created over many years and thousands of choices. Making a conscious effort to work on being your best self consists of daily action. So, what are you doing each day to inch your way closer to your best self? 

Choices:

Start by making 1 conscious choice when you wake up and you will change the trajectory of your entire day. Creating a morning routine is an entirely different beast to tackle, but you can absolutely win the day by making a choice for your healing, health, and wellness.

Ask yourself, “What area of my life needs the most improvement?” For me, it was my relationship with myself, always negative and being put on the back burner. If I didn’t get ahead of this at the beginning of the day I never stood a chance. So each morning I made a conscious choice to start my morning with an affirmation and a hug. This may not be your cup of Hennessy and that’s alright, find what is. Inner Work is all about getting to know who you are and who you wish to be. 

Habits:

There are lots of 4 week challenges to create a habit, but once those 30 days are up and you’ve stopped showing up, is it still considered a habit? Nope. Start slow and be realistic.

Ask yourself, “What is holding me back from being better than I was yesterday?” Get honest with yourself about how you spend your time, the energy you invest in your habits, and how they actually benefit you. From there you can start with letting go of 1 habit that is holding you back, and start to incorporate a new habit that will bring you closer to where you want to be. I once read that Jerry Seinfeld had a practice called Don’t Break The Chain, where he would mark the calendar with a giant red X on the days that he practiced his craft. If he didn’t practice, there was no red X, hence he broke the chain (also his calendar was hanging by a chain, but you get the jist). Keep yourself accountable with visual reminders and remember, it’s only a habit if you do it daily.

Mindset:

This one is going to be challenging on multiple levels, starting with the fact that you are essentially fighting yourself with every thought. When it comes to changing your thoughts and shifting your thoughts to a more positive attitude, it’s all about getting back up again.

You are going up against a powerful source that has been growing more powerful with every pattern. Each time you say something negative, or quit on yourself, or go back to the person who hurt you, or decide that you’ll start tomorrow, you reinforce the mindset you’re trying to fight. It’s going to take persistence, patience, mental strength and mindful awareness to chip away at the old ways of thinking to create a new, more fruitful path. The inner work for this will test you and that is your opportunity to rise, to practice being your best self.

Movement:

Prioritize time for intentional movement every day. NO EXCUSE. 30 minutes would be truly be ideal but it’s much better to be honest with yourself and start small. Make movement a non-negotiable daily action. Choose to take the steps instead of the elevator, take a walk outside when you get the chance, move with the intention of showing up for your body the way it constantly shows up for you.

Part of the homework I give as a personal trainer is to choose 1 stretch for a particular muscle that is constantly tight or giving you an issue. Give it attention, show it some gentle compassion, be the change you want to see your body exhibit and do it everyday.

Stillness:

Prioritizing time for stillness everyday is an excellent tool for reflection, or sometimes just a breath of fresh air. When you’re always on the go, always feeling the need to be doing, chances are you’re doing just to do.

Daily inner work teaches you that sometimes you’re occupying your time with busy work just so you don’t have to sit with whatever it is you’re thinking or feeling. This is one of those habits you want to try and break ASAP, because you have to be with yourself everyday, why not learn how to practice it peacefully? Practicing stillness for the mind is as rejuvenating as movement for the body, it’s the lubricant your soul needs to revitalize itself. 

Let’s Review

The choices you make generate the habits you create, both of which are part of your daily inner work. Instead of taking a quantum leap into drastic changes, start small and start with self-awareness. Notice which choices and habits are burdens in your life and which ones are propelling you forward. Mindset is how you approach your habits, choices, inner work, and overall being. When you go into something seeking the positive you are more likely to find it, therefore the mindset you adapt will be an effective tool for skill set and resilience building.

Then you have movement for the body and stillness for the mind, both are essential for your well-being. While the mind works better after relaxing and practicing pause, the body needs to keep moving. Keeping yourself mobile is significant when you begin to consider all of the things you want to accomplish in your day. The more able your body is to move, bend, twist, and lift the better capable you are to keep up with your daily tasks. The final of the five is stillness, or the practice of being with yourself in this very moment. Such a simple task can often be incredibly challenging because of all the stimuli we experience everyday.

So what are you waiting for? Start right now! While you’re fired up and can easily picture sliding these activities into your schedule. Start with 1 or jump into all 5, be realistic with your planning but don’t be afraid to push your limits. And if you ever get discouraged or fall off the wagon, just start all over again. Keep committing to your progress because the only way the results show up is if you consistently show up and do the inner work.

Love. Heal. Grow

Posted in Healing

What Is Inner Work?

Posted on by Sabrina Renee

Throughout this self-discovering journey, there have been lots of doing and undoing, learning and unlearning, even some relearning about the world and who I was in it. There were punches to the gut, stumbles, falls, and long hard looks at the choices made. It wasn’t easy, and I’d be lying if I told you that years later it becomes easy. Honestly, I hope it never does because the stuff that challenges you is what changes you from the inside out. It’s what makes people squeamish when recalling their embarrassing moments, or the regretful choices made when they were acting as a lower vibrational version of themselves. It’s the layer of self-care nobody is talking about.

Inner work is the nitty-gritty discomfort life is handing you to face, THAT is your life’s lesson plan. It’s about reflecting on the past to gain wisdom rather than pass judgment. Your life is your teacher and you learning to own all that you are is one of the greatest tools in your mental tool belt. But if you don’t learn how to utilize it for the greater good it will absolutely be used against you.

Ownership is a tool of power within the mind that is either handed off to others or held tightly within our grasp. Think about the times you’ve felt insecure or fearful, isn’t it linked to a past experience or assumption of what may happen? So rather than utilizing the ownership tool, you’ve given someone or something access to it, allowing an outside source to direct the choices you make. The most painful part of all is the only one affected by the consequences of that choice….is you. 

Inner work is a constant, consistent and conscious choice to be made every single day about who you wish to be in this world. Each day you start over again with compassionate tenacity, reminding yourself to love who you are in this moment while making a conscious effort to grow. Growth and healing are not linear and do not always have to appear as moving forward. Sometimes it looks like taking 3 steps back just to see how much faster and kinder you bounce back. Inner work takes patience and strength coming back to the purpose for your growth, remembering the pain you were caused yet learning not to stay in that mental place too long. It’s about learning wanting to make that choice that feels innate but instead choosing to pause to ask yourself, “Does this feel right or is this just the easier way?”

When you work on what is weighing you down within, your outer environment begins to change. It’s important to start taking notice of what no longer serves you by asking how someone or something makes you feel. Maybe certain behaviors are normal in your daily life simply because you’ve been doing them for years, but they don’t necessarily make you feel like your best self. This can often be a challenging transition so it’s good to focus on embracing the things you do appreciate and enjoy. Take some time to get to know yourself, re-learn your interests with an open beginner’s mindset and see what you discover. 

There are 4 Pillars of Inner Work.

(click the link to download the free guide explaining each step and how to transition)

1.Own it

2. Love, forgive, recommit

3.Let go of what no longer serves you

4.Focus on embracing the new

Simply put take ownership for where you are, forgive where you were, recommit everyday to where you want to go, release what burdens you and focus on all the good things to come. When working on yourself start from the inside because that’s what really matters. At the end of our lives we will look back to reflect on how life was lived. The outer appearance changes just like the seasons, and we are left with memories of the person we wished we were.

Don’t wait to wish you made a conscious effort to heal yourself and let love in. Don’t let opportunities slip by because you’re too uncomfortable to face your fears. Don’t shy away from your truth because things will have to change. Take a look at yourself today and ask:

What is my purpose and how can I begin fulfilling it?

How do I want to feel looking back on my life?

Why am I waiting to start?

The 4 Pillars of Inner Work