Learning to Surrender to Something More

Posted on May 17, 2020 by Sabrina Renee

What Does it Mean to Surrender?

The two forces constantly at play in your live are resistance and allowance. Both resistance and allowance show up as energy that propels your thinking, behavior, and even your emotional state. If you are choosing a state of resistance you are refusing to accept life circumstances as they are. Your energy flows where your attention goes, and your attention is what you focus on. Therefore, by focusing on what you lack, dislike, and find unpleasant you are choosing a resistant energy to handle what’s happening. Of course suffering is a part of the human experience, negative emotions are always going to surface and that’s not necessarily a bad thing, even though it may feel that way. The point isn’t to rid yourself of low vibration emotions entirely, but instead to notice when you are fueling the fire that burns them.

By choosing a state of allowance you are opening yourself to recognize what is happening. You allow yourself to experience life as it is, without comparing or fixating on alternative ways it could or should have played out. Instead of investing your energy on what you don’t want to happen, your focus is instead on accepting it already has happened. There is nothing that can be changed except your point of view and relationship to that experience. This is what it means to surrender, to completely accept what is and release your grips on the idea that it could have been any different.

Whatever you focus on you invite more of into your experience. And although you don’t control all of what is happening outside of you, there is control over what is happening within you. As the emotions begin to surface whether pleasant or unpleasant, you can choose what you’d like to focus on. The sensations in your body, the thoughts in your mind, your overall experience, or what is happening outside of you. See, there are multiple facets of experience, each having a unique lesson to teach if you’re willing to pay attention to it. The attention is your investment of energy, that which you focus on is where your energy flows, ultimately amplifying your experience of that thing. Usually, the mind will focus on the most intense feelings occurring in the present moment, it’s up to you to tune in and shift gears.

Letting Go For What?

Surrendering your resistance to allow implies that you are giving up, and in a way you are. By choosing to resist the life in front of you, because you’re stuck on the thought that it could have been different, you are wasting time and energy. You’re giving up that way of thinking for a different way of seeing things. It’s not that you’re quitting on yourself or your plans, but you’re deciding to acknowledge that life has knocked you off course. Instead of pushing forward with your original plan, you’re opening yourself to the changes that have found you and the possibilities that follow. In order for true change to occur, you must step into the shoes of the now and not at the moment when life veered off the course that you designed for it.

To surrender means to release, let go, relinquish your hold of someone or something. Surrendering takes a certain set of attitudes to practice such as curiosity, openness, non-judgment, and detachment. By practicing curiosity and non-judgment you are bringing a mindful focus to your circumstance while dropping your opinion of what should be. Paying attention to what is happening without expectation of what will follow, or doubts about this moment. While openness and detachment help you release the belief that what is happening is personal. Choosing to see beyond the world created inside your mind and expanding to life within the universe, filled with intricate connections and divine timing that’s a part of a much larger picture.

It’s important to recognize unpleasant experiences are not happening to you, they are just happening. Because if you see yourself as helpless against life than you do not see your responsibility to how you respond to it. Instead, start seeing it as if life is happening for you to practice leveling up. Open your mind to the possibility that you are here to evolve into your greatest self and that adversity is here to help you do that. Although life cannot be undone, and there are plenty of experiences outside of your realm of control, you are the one that decides the mindset that moves you forward. So each time you find yourself experiencing unpleasantness or negative emotions, you are faced with the choice of resistance or allowance. You can choose to resist the reality of what is happening right now, ultimately perpetuating a limit that doesn’t need to exist in your life. Or you can choose to allow the reality of what is happening right now, and the difference is acceptance. You have to let go of the belief that whatever happens to you is personal, only then can you choose to allow yourself to practice acceptance.

But what are you surrendering to?

A higher intelligence. You don’t need to be religious or spiritual, you don’t have to have specific beliefs about the universe, energy, or life. All that you need to understand is you don’t have all the answers, so surrender to that fact. Release the idea that you have to have everything figured out and that life must flow according to your mind map. Lean into the belief that it is happening for you to grow, because even when it’s the worst feeling in the world this belief will move you in the right direction. There’s a difference between what is happening and your relationship to what is happening, which is where your energy gets stuck every time. Focusing primarily on the emotional pain you’re experiencing rather than prioritizing how you’re going to bounce back. If something pains you heal it, always, that’s a pivotal part of the process but it’s not the end of the road. Never allow pain to keep you resistant of what else is out there for you.

Expand your awareness beyond the thoughts and emotions that hold you in an unpleasant place. Open up to the idea that this could be used as a way of bringing you closer to a pleasant place. Create space in your mind for the possibility that there is a higher intelligence that can be tapped into and that you have a say in the direction of your life. Allow yourself to explore the opportunity of surrendering when you feel like you’re doing too much, because you most likely are, and surrender it to something that can handle the magnitude. Become mindful of your relationship with whatever or whoever you are surrendering too, and nourish it. Let go of the idea of what society says this higher intelligence is and seek that for yourself. Start believing that you are here for a reason and get curious about it. Contemplate the person you are, who you’d like to become, and what all of this means to you. Give yourself the opportunity to have an incredible life, allow it into your experience by letting go of resistance so you can receive it.

Open up and Allow Life in

Where there is another cycle of breath entering your lungs, there is another chance to choose a more expansive and evolutionary path. Choosing again starts by becoming aware of how resistance is impacting your overall wellbeing and focus. Throughout any given day you’ll be faced with the choice to resist the reality of your circumstance or to accept it’s truth. Accepting where you are in this moment, especially if it’s not where you desire to be, is not a commitment to stay stagnant. It’s simply a practice of awareness without clutching to the thought that the present moment can be any different that it is.

Open yourself up and allow life to flow in and find you where you are. Start trusting your ability to change directions when life throws you an obstacle. Instead of seeing it as something that’s meant to stop you, or that these things are happening to you, open your heart and allow yourself to see the magical opportunity to evolve higher. By choosing acceptance over resistance, you are choosing to create a magnificent life for your future self. Each time the world outside of you causes suffering, look within for the strength to allow this experience in and transcend your darkness into light. The changes you are asking for may show up disguised as pain, transformation, loss, or vulnerable exposure. Acknowledge and honor your feelings, while simultaneously using them as a compass to seek ways to adapt and overcome. There is nothing you cannot be, do, or have in this life once you get out of your own way. Take a deep breath and choose again.

Love. Heal. Grow.

Mindfulness, Personal Growth

A Day of Mindfulness: A Life Long Messsage

Posted on September 13, 2016 by Sabrina Renee

A Sunday well spent

At 7:45 am I set off to the Blue Cliff monastery which is surrounded by mountains in upstate New York. The ride was about an hour and a half, 45 minutes consisted of miles and miles of immense trees. It began to drizzle and quickly stopped, as the grey clouds separated revealing a beautiful autumn sky. The closer I got to the mountains the fluffier they became, almost as if the clouds were aware of my plans and were conspiring to set the tone. After having an intense week filled with stress and responsibilities I had been counting down the minutes until I began my day of mindfulness. It was finally here.

Upon my arrival the monks and visitors had already begun singing Buddhist songs of love and peace, setting a welcoming vibe as I walked across Mindfulness Road to join them. As we put hands together in gratitude I looked around at the handful of people I’ve never met and yet felt at home with. Experiencing different walks of life that inevitably brought us all together for a day of peace and calm. Collectively we bowed our heads and set an intention before starting our mindful walk through the forest. For the mindful walks I have done in the past I usually focus my attention on my feet; slowly placing my left heel down and then my right, almost as if I’m walking in slow motion. This time I decided to change my intention to focusing on my breath and simply appreciating life.

If you’ve never heard of or experienced a mindful walk I highly suggest giving it a try. There are many different types of mindful practices, all of which consist of paying attention to an action, or actions that we usually don’t give a second thought to. We are turning off our autopilot and noticing it as if it were the first time. The mindful walk allows us a chance to view walking from a different perspective. We get from one point to another and often never pay attention to the in between. The how. It helps us practice gratitude for this simple act that we do every day.

For the most part the mindful walk was silent, only the sounds of footsteps crunching twigs and the wind that kept us company. When we first began it was difficult to silence my thoughts, especially because I had such a stressful week. It felt as if every second my mind thought of something else to distract me. Whether it was wandering into responsibilities waiting for me at home or replaying the events of the past week, focusing was difficult. Remembering my intention was to focus on my breath, I reminded myself of just that, over and over and OVER again. After walking for about 30 minutes we paused for a few moments to just be. Be grateful, be patient, be still. Above me trees were swaying while others were immovable, all of them unapologetically beautiful in their stance. There were tiny chipmunks unseen but absolutely heard, while the birds were quietly in the open. Our walk continued and there were many different statues of Buddha surrounded by piles of 3 rocks on top of one another. People interpret this in different ways. I saw this as a chance to acknowledge that I was at peace and that I have the power to cultivate this at anytime.

“By realizing my emotion I understand impermanence.”

After our mindful walk through the forest we were given sometime to ourselves before sitting in on the dharma talk. I chose to use this time to watch the clouds of course, after all this is my favorite pass time. They were so beautiful I almost lost track of time. The breeze picked up and blew cool mountain air all around. I felt peace of mind for the first time in…I can’t remember when. I headed over to listen to the wisdom of the monk speaking. As she walked in, and again when she sat down, we joined our hands and bowed in gratitude together. Before beginning we collectively paid our respects to those who lost their live 15 years prior on the morning of September 11th. Strangers coming together to create a peaceful and loving feel on such a profound morning. The energy in the room was comforting.

The topic of the talk overall was how our emotions change due to the behavior of others. The example given was when someone does something we do not like we put them in a negative category in our mind. Once someone, or an event, is placed into a particular category it is not likely that we will cleanse our mind of those thoughts and labels. This got me thinking about the stressors I have been experiencing and the labels I have created for them. Just as I had experienced a bad day, or few days, so could the people who upset me. I felt my judgment toward them melt away. I decided that every being in my life had the right to a clean slate, just like me. We were then given a breathing exercise to try: when we inhale we realize the emotion that we are currently feeling, when we exhale we acknowledge the behavior caused by these powerful emotions. Listening to her speak was a life changing experience for me. Her words flowed through the room as if this were all so simply to understand, therefore easy to embody the next time an obstacle feels impossible to get through. Later on in the day I practiced this meditation next to a statue of Buddha and placed my own three rocks atop one another.

She continued on to explain the concept of nondualism. “We are not the same, but we are not different.” What I took from this is that we are all interconnected and yet still individuals who can not be compared to one another. As the lesson continued I began to understand how our emotions tie into nondualism. When a person or event causes us to experience a certain emotion we are quick to judge, and often not change the judgment we have passed until another experience occurs. This is because we have judged ourselves as well, creating an us vs them mentality. Nondualism embodies the principle that we do not have to have similar interests, lifestyles or mindsets for us to thrive together as human beings. It is imperative for humanity to accept that difference does not mean distance, rather it could present the possibility for an opportunity of understanding another way of life. The broader we expand our horizons the faster we break down the barriers between knowledge and ignorance, comfort and fear. When the dharma talk concluded I felt a shift in my being. I felt a boost of confidence in my ability to spread peace and love. Above all else I felt compelled to share these beautiful words with as many people as possible. If you’ve read this until the end, thank you. Do not underestimate the power of positivity. Please pass it on to someone who can benefit from these lessons. Namaste.
#StayMindful

Poems

Freedom

Posted on January 5, 2016January 5, 2016 by Sabrina Renee

We must let go.

Of people and the expectations we hold them to.

Of the plans we make and the promises they broke.

Of the pain yesterday held and the uncertainty of tomorrow.

We must let go of the idea of changing others.

Of the thought that we can make them understand.

Of the illusion that we can abolish ignorance.

Of the countless times we see what we want to see.

We must let go of toxicity.

Of the anger we built up so high.

Of the sadness we allow to consume us.

Of the regret that stains our past.

We must let go of fantasies.

Of the power we believe holding on gives.

Of the idea that we are strong to do so.

Of the fear that life as we know it must change.

We must let go to be free

We must forgive all

And it must start with me.

Mindfulness, Self-Love

I wish I were here

Posted on August 31, 2015May 13, 2022 by Sabrina Renee

It is too heavy to hold on to the mistakes we have made in the past. It is too vast of thought to worry about what-ifs. The only logical way to live is in the moment. Right now life is happening to us.

We are creating memories, overcoming obstacles, laughing out loud or crying about a devastating loss. Living life to its fullest potential comes with experiencing emotion with great intensity. It is easy to become frightened by what we experience deeply but we should never let this fear make us cowardly.

We should embrace all of our feelings, whether we label them negative or positive. We must remain present with them. We heal and learn through the worst of times by understanding that it is temporary. We rejoice and celebrate through the best times by being grateful because it is temporary.

Letting go of anything but the present I feel light and full, together. Worries are lifted from me while acceptance keeps me grounded at this moment.

In the past when I have experienced pure joy I notice myself go from being fulfilled to questioning its intensity and duration of stay. I used to doubt everything in front of me because I knew it would change, maybe not soon but sometime down the road. Instead of using the time to appreciate my life at the moment I would anticipate how it could be, ultimately wasting my thoughts on ones that cannot be answered without experiencing it.

Our brains are programmed to be one step ahead but our memories push that even further and begin expecting the worst. We associate whatever situation we are currently going through with a time when it didn’t work out.

Reminding future me how much it hurt consequently steals the well deserved moment of happiness from the present me. It is almost as if our brain is training us to get hurt, to get disappointed, to get our hearts broken but we could never really be prepared.

To be mindful is to accept without judgment that this is your life today. What we think we become so the answer lies within us. When our mind brings us to the negativity we have to stop those thoughts by taking deep breaths and remembering to be still.

Be here with the happiness you will one day miss, be here with the sadness that will one day pass, and be here with the people that could be gone tomorrow.

Today I choose to be awake. I feel with the same intensity I always have just with an added understanding that I do not own this feeling. I possess it for the time being and will make the best out of it. It may hurt me or it may heal me but it will always teach me.

Nothing is too good to be true, we are all deserving of happiness and goodness in our lives. Our minds are just not entirely sure how to receive such joy without matching it with disappointment. Letdowns and bumps in the road are guaranteed but the happiness you feel at this very moment in time is not. Someone wishes they could feel that way.

At some point in your life, YOU probably wished for this feeling to overcome you. When it does do not hold on to it for it is not yours. Do not let go simply because it may one day fade. Be with everything you feel until it is time for it to pass and keep your heart open for what lies ahead.

Stay Mindful

Poems

Strength

Posted on August 19, 2015August 19, 2015 by Sabrina Renee

I’m strong now.

From the depth of my soul

To the soles of my shoes.

But sometimes forget

I wasn’t always her.

You see the past is a blur

When you wanna forget

The remaining regrets.

But they fuel me.

These thoughts of time

Forcefully remind

This brain of mine

That there is no going back.

To what once was,

And it’s all because

I gave my all

Just to get here.

When I was lower than dirt

I pushed through the hurt.

Now I know my worth

Cause I fought for this.

But sometimes I forget

And it’s sad but true

That which makes you happy

Can often blind you.

But when it feels good

You shut your eyes

And now you’re surprised

At how you got here.

But It’s different this time

Not the painful kind.

And so this blissful mind

Begins leading me.

To a happy place.

I tried to slow my pace

But reality slipped without a trace

And I don’t know where the time went.

So I remind myself

Of my mental health

And the importance of being quiet.

Attempting to be still,

While chasing the thrill.

I can’t seem to keep my feet on the ground.

I think I’ve I finally found

The source of my chaos.

I hold on too tight

At the thought it might

Not be this way again.

But attachment is pain

So I must remain

And accept the emotions as they come.

When the moment is done

Acceptance has begun.

I can’t start to run

And chase down a feeling.

I must force myself to see

How important it is for me

To breathe in and out.

And don’t forget about

How much I fought to get here.