Learn How to Respond Consciously

Posted on December 8, 2019 by Sabrina Renee

When a person is thinking with their emotional mind rather than their logical mind they are essentially under the influence. They have been tricked into believing that their emotions are in control instead of themselves. Or may not be able to tell the difference between emotions and themselves, identifying with each by reciting the phrase I am.

Negative emotions almost feel amplified and more powerful than logic or any type of reasoning. Sadness, for example, can grow into a debilitating physical emotion if left unattended. The body feels heavier and a person’s perception of the world becomes dim. The more we feed into this way of thinking the deeper we get sucked into the realm of negativity. The struggle with emotions is that our thoughts are their fuel. If we do not have control over our thoughts our emotions will continue to stampede through our lives, relationships and our overall wellbeing.

Unless we are conscious of what we are feeling and when it begins to arise it is easy to get stuck in this way of thinking.

Responding to something takes mental strength, effort and mindfulness.

Mental Strength

The mental strength of holding onto the original thought, phrase or event with the potential to send one spiraling into a predetermined reaction. Picture a set of brain muscles holding on for dear life to a pole in a storm. That pole is the reason your emotions began to arise in the first place. The storm is the thoughts and scenarios that follow the initial thought. They will bombard you, tempt you, upset you and make you consider letting go of the pole and holding on to them instead. The thought storm, has been groomed over the years to be powerful instantly leading you to believe you are weak against it. However, your mental strength uses the tool of patience to weather any storm and patience will always outlast anguish.

Effort

Effort is the second step to responding rather than reacting. Effort is a form of determination, meaning it must be constant and not only be present when the thought storm isn’t as harsh. It must persevere and always continue moving forward, even if at a slow paced speed. Some storms you will have to face multiple times and each time you will grow in mental strength and effort. These may become easier in time to overcome but there will continue to be obstacles and strong storms waiting to test you. Effort comes in right after mental strength and plays a bit of a bigger role. It’s the constant reminder to come back to this way of coping with emotions. It’s the determination to stay with the discomfort face it head on every time. Effort is coming back to something you know may not be a pleasant experience but doing it time and time again knowing it will make you a stronger person mentally.

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is the third step in responding rather than reacting and you will constantly be using all three, at different and sometimes the same times. Although the concept of these three steps is a simple one it does not mean it will be easy. Mindfulness is observing this moment without passing judgment or wishing it were different. This does not mean you will be at peace with it instantly. It does mean, however, you are no longer trying to change what has already happened or wishing for a better outcome. You will be deciding to leave unnecessary mental anguish and suffering behind you for this new way of coping.

You have the choice to respond to the emotions that arise within you. What makes you believe you aren’t in control is the power behind your thinking habits. It takes an incredible amount of mental strength to believe in your ability to change, and an unending amount of effort to never give up and multiple doses of mindfulness to stay present with how you’re coping with emotions. When you choose to pause our regularly scheduled rumination, thinking or behavior pattern you interrupt autopilot. Allowing you to tune into what the mind and body are up to and become present with what is happening.

So pause, take a deep breath, and remember you’re in control.

Mindfulness, Practices

A 4 Step Guide to Calm

Posted on November 24, 2019May 24, 2023 by Sabrina Renee

How is Stress affecting you?

Stress is experienced through various channels such as mental, emotional, personal, and relational. Whether it be a thought or experience out of your control, the stressor that has triggered an emotion becomes a part of you as energy.

Stress can turn into physical tension, emotional baggage, mental health issues or problematic behavior in the relationships in your life. There are certain stressors that are simply apart of life however, their impact on your wellbeing should not be as easily accepted.

The way you perceive the world plays a pivotal role in how you are reacting to the stress that occurs. Your perception of others is a mirror of what is happening within you. Therefore the gateway to responding consciously to stressful situations in your life is to raise your level of self-awareness.

After years of studying mindful awareness and stress reduction, I’ve come up with a simple practice that reminds you of how to remain calm and come back to the present moment.

Learn to Check Your G.E.E.K.

Gratitude, ego, expectation, and kindness are the 4 prompts that help ground you when experiencing strong negative emotions. This practice can be used when you are frustrated with yourself, angry with another person, or with a circumstance that happened outside of your control.

Below you’ll learn the power G.E.E.K and how to practice it.

Gratitude: Set an intention of APPRECIATION

Gratitude is the answer to living a happy life. The best way to practice gratitude is to find the good in what frustrates you and what you view as a problem. Everything is an opportunity to practice patience and growth. If you can begin to shift your perspective to thinking this way you are making progress.

Ego: Set an intention of EMPATHY

The ego is always living in the past or the future. It is threatened when you experience a negative emotion and will encourage any thinking that involves staying angry or retaliation. Often times it feels natural to lead with egoic thinking as a default. Practicing pause to ask the following questions is an interruption to emotionally driven thinking, giving you the chance to reframe your thoughts to problem-solving not problem sulking.

Expectation: Set an intention of PATIENCE

Expectations are always attached to particular outcomes you assume will unfold, often without awareness. Therefore both disappointment and happiness can be tied into the expectations you set for yourself and others. When overcome with intense emotion work to find the root of the issue by understanding what expectations allowed you to feel this way.

Kindness: Set an intention of COMPASSION

Practice a kind and generous way of thinking, being, and living. The way you treat yourself will reflect on the relationships you form in your life. Bring attention to negative self-talk and practice a compassionate inner language.

fashion woman notebook pen

Practices and Journal Prompts

for Finding Calm

The following questions are meant to interrupt your emotional mind from wanting to react and encourage you to shift your perception to one of compassion. Before you more on to the next intention and set of questions be sure to pause and take 3-5 deep breaths.

While you are in the midst of a pause your breath is the tool that will navigate you through what your autopilot would normally take care of. When focusing on your breath you are bringing the mind into the present moment to truly process and comprehend what’s happening and what follows.

The more you practice pausing the more you will continuously interrupt an unpleasant habit of thinking, which would most likely lead to unpleasant behavior. This is the way to control your moods.

(GRATITUDE)

With the intention of appreciation in mind, ask yourself:

Finding 3 things to be grateful for in what is currently causing you to suffer. Finding appreciation in that which causes you unpleasantness is the ultimate shift from victim to wisdom.

Ask yourself, how can I find the goodness in those who test my patience?

Notice the power of gratitude and the positive shifts you’re making with your thoughts before moving onto exploring ego.

Take 5 deep breaths and with each exhale invite a smile of appreciation for doing the inner work to shift your perspective of yourself and others.

(EGO)

**With the intention of empathy in mind, ask yourself:**

Am I comparing myself with someone else rather than expressing compassion for them? If so, how healthy is it to be comparing myself to others right now?

That which frustrates you can often be a mirror for areas of improvement in your life. Ask yourself, can I honestly see my own mistakes/shortcomings mirrored back to me?

What ways can I practice letting go?

How can I practice empathy to better understand this circumstance? Or the perspective of the other person?

Take 5 deep breaths and with each exhale extend understanding to yourself and others who may be experiencing suffering in any way. Clear your mind and welcome a clean slate for a fresh perspective.

(EXPECTATION)

With the intention of patience in mind, ask yourself:

Whenever we feel disappointed, frustrated or upset it is due to an expectation we set for ourselves or for another. With that in mind ask yourself:

What expectations have I set that allowed me to experience this emotion?

Understanding your control lies within the response, not the circumstance is a powerful realization. Ask yourself

What is a positive way to respond to this situation?

Take 5 deep breaths and with each exhale release your grip on this situation. Clear your mind and welcome a clean slate for a fresh perspective.

(KINDNESS)

With the intention of compassion in mind, ask yourself:

After analyzing this situation with an open-minded perspective it is important that you end your thoughts on a note of kindness. Ask yourself:

Am I being kind to myself in this circumstance?

Consider the voice that’s been answering these questions for you. How was the tone of that voice? Were you gentle with your responses or did they surface as harsh?

If you noticed judgment in your self-talk try replacing it with a response you would say to a friend in your situation. Be understanding, kind and positive.

Am I being kind to those around me?

Take 5 deep breaths and with each exhale invite kind circumstances to yourself and others. Clear your mind and welcome a clean slate for a fresh perspective.

If you’re feeling better about the situation move forward with compassion and inner trust that all is unfolding as it needs to. If not, go back to the top and spend a little longer on whichever section is speaking to you. Use this practice as much as you need to. Take note of the questions that caused you to pause a bit longer or challenged your thinking.

Checking your G.E.E.K. can be a short in the moment practice or a longer one for deeper reflection. However, you use it be sure to embody the intentions you set before asking yourself questions that raise your self-awareness.

Remember that change begins with awareness of self, and it starts with you.

LOVE. HEAL. GROW.

Practices

5 Conscious Choices to Improve Humanity

Posted on November 8, 2019 by Sabrina Renee

Feeling good and living well ultimately comes down to choices. How you care for the body that carries you through the day, the consideration you put into connecting with others, whether you choose to be of service to a group of people, and the contribution you choose depends on the decisions you make every day. Believe it or not, it doesn’t only involve you. By making a conscious effort to live a life of service and fulfillment you impact the people you interact with every day.

So what if you put some intention behind those actions?

If everyone made conscious choices for themselves and invited others to experience these joys humanity would thrive! By making conscious choices for ourselves while considering others we have the potential to grow happier and healthier, together.

5 Ways to Impact Others

1. CONNECT

Support others

When you support others in their work, life, or personal journey you create a healthy and safe foundation. This connection is powerful because it allows you to grow as a person while helping others do the same; creating an endless amount of possibilities. So PLEASE let your friends and loved ones know that you believe in what they are doing and that you’ll be there for them through it. Sometimes it isn’t implied simply because you are in their life, sometimes it does need to be said.

Explore your interests

Remember doing sports as a child and all of the fun you had interacting with your teammates? Being an adult doesn’t have to take that fun away. Get to know others who enjoy the same sport, past time or activity as you. Expand on your hobbies and invest some time into developing your skills and understanding together. Spending time with people who can relate to you and your interests is a great way to build friendships.

Disconnecting from the virtual world

Put down your phone, close the laptop for a while and connect with those around you. At bus stops, in elevators, while you’re standing in line at the grocery store you have the opportunity to meet someone new. All new things bring with them the potential for the unknown. You may form a relationship or just learn a valuable lesson from each other. Look up and open your eyes to all the wonder around you.

2. BE ACTIVE

Daily intentional movement

Your body should be celebrated every day because it truly is a miracle. All of the dreaded movement, such as exercise or walking up multiple flights of steps, should be viewed through the eyes of gratitude. Each day make a conscious effort to get a morning or evening stretching in. Reward your muscles for how hard they are constantly working for you by treating them with relaxation and replenishment.

What activity makes you happy?

Think about what kind of movement makes you the happiest. If you’re an athlete it may be the preparation for your competition or hitting the gym. Others enjoy running or taking a walk with beautiful scenery. Personally I absolutely love dancing and make sure I do a little bit each day. Whatever movement makes you feel alive and grateful be sure to prioritize time to do so. Improve your mood with an exciting activity.

Long and short term benefits

The benefits of exercise are physical, mental and emotional. Along with keeping your heart healthy with cardio and building strength with weights, you are boosting your energy levels and reducing your stress levels. Those weekly workouts start to add up into a happy and healthy lifestyle. Finding an accountability partner or group creates an atmosphere that you look forward to every week. When you commit to your goals with others it builds a strong bond both in and outside of the fitness world.

3. TAKE NOTICE

Practice mindfulness

Every day that you wake up is a blessing in itself, yet with busy lives, it’s easy to take it for granted. How often are you aware of your breath and the miracle of life? How often are your thoughts where your body is, in the present moment? Make a conscious effort to notice daily habits that contribute deeply to your day. For instance brushing your teeth in the morning, getting into the shower with clean hot water and having a home where all of this takes place. Say thank you every day, for everything.

Thoughts and feelings

When you take the time to notice your thoughts and how they make you feel it saves the trouble of worry and stress. Getting familiar with your mind is the start of a better relationship with yourself. As the relationship grows and gets deeper, practice letting go of all that is weighing you down. The more you practice being aware of emotions the more enjoyable life becomes.

Practicing gratitude

Gratitude is known to amplify happy thoughts and positive circumstances. By practicing gratitude for all of the good in life and the lessons the bad taught you, the doors for great things ahead are opened. Expand your gratitude beyond your personal life and into the world around you. Appreciate the sky with both clouds and stars, be aware of the trees and water surrounding you and consider how much nature contributes to your life.

4. KEEP LEARNING

Learning through experience

A favorite outlet of mine is reflective writing about the day, how I’m feeling and what I’d change next time. Pick up a notebook and write down how you’re feeling or what you’re currently involved in. One day you can look back and be humbled by your mental growth. Or maybe even help someone in a similar situation. Continue to remind yourself how far you have come by triumphing the easy and difficult experiences.

The power of a good read

READERS ARE LEADERS! Whether you are a leader on a team, a leader in your business or leading your life in the best direction possible reading will get you there faster. Understanding the perspectives of others helps us avoid making similar mistakes and gives insight into another person’s struggle. Try swapping out a Netflix show for a 30-minute reading session this week.

Allowing the wisdom of others to teach you

Listen to those who are willing to offer loving and caring advice. Don’t judge them if they are older, and especially if they are younger, because everyone experiences life at a different pace. Stay open-minded to those who are willing to help. You may be humbled and able to avoid some mistakes in the future.

5. GIVE

Be kind

Being kind to others is the most inexpensive way to make the world a better place. Treating people the way you wish to be treated is just as contagious as a negative behavior toward others. The choice is always yours and it’s often much simpler than you make it out to be. It could be holding the door open for someone, saying hello to a stranger or wishing someone a beautiful day. Keeping others in mind is a powerful attribute and echoes throughout humanity.

Give back

It’s important to remember where you were and how it felt to struggle. Giving back is one of the sincerest forms of gratitude and there is never enough of it. Everyone is at different stages in their life and there’s always a way to give back. Choose what you are able to give that can help someone’s life improve. Whether it’s clothes that no longer serve you, money if you have some to spare, a lesson learned from a tough road in your life, and most importantly give someone your time. Be present with those you are speaking or listening to, give them your undivided attention, and when possible give them peace of mind.

To Forgive is to give

Forgiveness means letting go of what is weighing you down, accepting what has happened and choosing to move forward. This does not mean to excuse whatever action or person hurt you, this does not mean that you’ll allow it to happen again. Forgiveness is an act of freedom. To forgive means to create more space in your heart for love and in your mind for understanding. When you forgive you give humanity another chance to show you their innate goodness. Always make room for that.

The Power To Improve Humanity

Imagine a world that everyone participated in these actions each day. Some small, some big, but everyone is involved. Imagine a world where the ripple effects of kindness, gratitude, forgiveness, honesty, movement, knowledge and love were felt on a massive scale. I don’t believe the world is too far off from living this life as a whole, but it begins with the choices made each day.

When you choose to open your hearts to others you grow in compassion and understanding. Through deep connection, an active lifestyle, noticing the world around us, giving to others and continuing to learn you are contributing positively to humanity. Making conscious decisions to be better versions of yourself allows you to collectively help the world become a better place. The happier you are the more you want to spread it to others, all while increasing our wellbeing.

Stay positive, keep moving, be open-minded, contribute selflessly, and build relationships. Remember, it’s good for your health and the wellbeing of humanity.

Practices

How to Make Conscious Choices

Posted on October 22, 2019 by Sabrina Renee

Creating change in life has its challenges. Some of the biggest ones are lack of awareness, indecision, self-doubt, and a lack of inner trust. Staying in any one of these phases too long can cause you to have second thoughts about the change you desire. Going back and forth between the “what ifs” in the unknown territory ahead, you’ll begin to suffer from analysis paralysis. Focusing too much on what may or may not happen has the power to keep you stagnant, freezing you between possibility and opportunity.

Let me teach you how to make the leap into creating conscious change with clarity, confidence, and consistent action.

Becoming Aware of Change

The first step to creating a change in your personal, professional, spiritual lifestyle is bringing awareness to what needs improvement. Conscious choices can only occur after awareness is practiced. Start by taking the mindfulness approach to awareness, stripping away judgment and simply noticing how things are. Start paying attention to where change is needed/desired in your life.

The most important, and often most uncomfortable thing to become aware of are your thoughts. The way you think ultimately leads to the behaviors you choose, the environment you surround yourself in, and the circumstances it all leads to. Mindful awareness will allow you to begin learning the underlying reasons that drive the decisions you make.

Choosing Consciously

Now that you’ve shifted your focus onto the problem it’s time to find the solution. Although not every choice will be easy or obvious, don’t dwell on your options for too long. Instead of focusing on “what ifs” consider your options more mindfully.

Take time to sift through what would be the best outcome for yourself and those it involves. Consider the consequences, if any, of each choice, and how the changes that would need to take place. Pay attention to how each choice makes you feel, your emotions are often a compass toward what you need. Clearly identify whether it’s a choice that will hold you back or propel you forward. Afraid or not- decide and let it go.

Trusting Your Decision

By the time you reach the trusting stage, you’ve already grown through whatever it is you are going through. By choosing an open awareness and considering your choices, and how they may impact your life, you have strengthened your intuition. Give yourself some credit. Instead of trying to force anything to happen, or expect things to turn out “as planned” practice trusting yourself in this moment. Trust you have the ability to pay attention, decide with wisdom, and move forward without second-guessing yourself.

Positive life experiences are not all built on certainty or knowing the next step. They’re created when you pay attention, gain clarity, and believe that all will work out however it needs to. Be here now and allow the rest to find you when it’s time.

Let’s Review

→ Awareness: Pay attention to the current thoughts and emotions that cause you pain, discomfort, frustration, impatience or confusion. Allow yourself to experience, label the emotion to the best of your ability, and pay attention to how it’s appearing in your body. This will prevent it from consuming your thoughts entirely. Awareness allows you to separate yourself from the thought and the emotion.

→ Choice: Consciously choose what is your plan of action, sometimes your plan is just to let something go because it no longer benefits you. Letting go is not immediate but it won’t begin unless you decide to do so. Ask yourself, are there actions that can be taken, feelings to be felt, or definite changes to be made?

→ Trust: Once you have decided on the change you seek and the action to go about doing so, let go and trust in yourself. Allowing your choice to come to fruition and avoid mapping out what “should” happen next. Approach each circumstance with these three steps and move forward with faith and confidence.

Biggest takeaway

Become aware of what needs change, make a choice and trust the decision you’ve made. Once you practice awareness you have only a few options: accept what is happening, adapt to your circumstance by making mindset shifts, or change the situation. Continue practicing making conscious choices from your instinct or intuition, after considering the best course of action. Move on and trust that you are capable of making the right decision, or learning a lesson from it.

Don’t stay stagnant in any of these phases, take action with confidence, move forward with clarity and have faith in the road ahead.

Spirituality

Learn to Lead with Love

Posted on October 20, 2019 by Sabrina Renee

“Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything, maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.”

–Paulo Coelho

When you watch an innocent child enter this world you can see them for what they truly are, love. As you look forward to their future it’s filled with hope, endless possibilities, and limitless potential to be chased. Yet somehow, the more you lived your life, that perception of yourself was lost amongst experiences. Hope was traded in for fear, endless possibilities for the known territory of safety, limitless potential for the limited skill set you’ve already acquired.

So what is the difference between your life and the life of a brand new human arriving into the world? They haven’t been shaped by the opinions, restrictions, and defeatist attitudes of the environment around them. But there is something that you have that they must wait years to attain and that’s the wisdom to know you always have a choice.

Humans have the greatest compass of all- emotions, yet we are rarely taught how to utilize them for our benefit. If you are happy, excited, satisfied you are enjoying the moment. If you are sad, afraid, frustrated you are not enjoying the moment. The problem lies with where you place your focus during this time. Most people don’t allow themselves to appreciate and live in the positive feeling emotions because they begin to shift their attention to the fact that it is fleeting. Rather than basking in all the goodness flowing, the focus is on knowing it will be over soon. For the most part, people treat negative emotions differently with way more attention to detail, visualizing future outcomes and fueling the emotion’s fire. Rather than acknowledging that this emotion is also fleeting, the attention instead is focused on how much worse it can get.

Leading with Love or Fear

There are only two choices we make: those rooted in love or in fear. Choices made in fear are a combination of not knowing what will happen next and allowing the outside world’s opinions to penetrate your beliefs. The fearful ones will keep you sheltered from the unknown as a means of protection. The mind and the body have evolved to keep you safe and out of harms way, therefore it is constantly on the lookout for what makes you feel uneasy. Whether it’s a life-threatening reason to be afraid or one that will be incredibly embarrassing, it’s registered as something to stay away from. The mind speaks to the body by sending physical sensations to the body as signals that something wrong is about to happen, such as sweaty palms, tightening of the chest or heart palpitations. The goal of the mind and body system is to keep you away from what you fear, even if life is completely safe.

The choices rooted in love come from the heart and the soul, speaking to the desires that are innate within your being. When you make a decision to lead with love you bring yourself closer to who you’re becoming, which is really who you’ve always been. This doesn’t necessarily mean that each choice made in love will be easy to walk toward but they will feel right. Choices in love are led by your inner voice or intuition, this is different from the self-talk that happens in the mind. Intuition is a feeling of alignment or misalignment about behaviors or choices being made, whereas self-talk can be a mixture of doubt, fear, insecurity, and curiosity. To understand whether you are leading with love or with fear, bring awareness to your body as you consider your choices. If you’re feeling tension, dis-ease, and contracting your muscles-that is rooted in fear. If you’re feeling open, relaxed, and embracing the thought-that is your intuition. Always move forward with love and you’ll be led to what’s meant for you.

How to Use Your Emotional Compass

As always the first step to creating change, particularly an emotional or behavioral one, is by becoming aware of that which needs changing. Considering this is a habit you’ve picked up throughout your life it’ll be difficult to even remember to try and shift your thinking on it. So you need a trigger.

A trigger is something that alerts you when an emotion or behavior is prompted to occur. Personally I’ve struggled with emotional eating, whenever I began to feel a strong emotion occur I feel the urge to eat something. It’s a momentary pleasure that tricks my mind into thinking I’ll feel better once I act on the impulse. The trigger is the emotion, the impulse is to eat. Once I began to raise my awareness of what was causing the urge I was able to stay ahead of the feeling. Now it’s time to find what it is that’s triggering you, the following practice can be used for negative or positive emotion.

Practice

In your mind’s eye begin to think of a time in the past where you were happy. Get as specific as possible with this memory by bringing your 5 senses into the mix. Bring to mind what you were wearing, if you were eating or drinking something, take note of the temperature and any sounds around you. Remember how long that feeling of happiness lasted and whether it ended abruptly.

Did a thought interrupt it? If so, what was the thought?

Was it a physical sensation in your body that shifted your focus?

Make the connection that once you’ve taken your mind off of what delivered you happiness you are now taken into your thinking mind.

You are no longer in the present moment and it’s always waiting there for you again.

Bring yourself back to the now with a deep inhale recalling the happiness you felt.

As you exhale release the focus of the thinking mind and any tension in your body.

Staying True To Who You Always Were

The babies that enter this world are at their purest form, created by, embodying, and deserving of unconditional love. They are beings of wonder, curiosity, and emerging awareness. As they enter a world they know nothing about, it is the job of the parents and loving community to nurture this child. Nurturing extends far beyond food, water, warmth, and safety- these are the essential baselines.

Another type of nourishment is allowing them to embrace the song that sings in their hearts, dance to the message within their soul, explore the world with an open curiosity in an attempt to understand without judgment. But most importantly, those who are growing up need to understand that this journey will shape them, the world around them will try to change them, people will work tirelessly to instill fear and doubt into their precious minds.

These babies that grow into the people reading this post need to know they always have a choice to remain true to who they are. The choice begins when you acknowledge that you are enough, complete, and whole as you are at this moment. I pray that you choose to believe that, today and always.