Tag: SelfAwareness

Posted in MindBody, Practices

Self-Care While Serving Others: Wellness Tips for Caregivers

Posted on by Sabrina Renee

hands people friends communication

Do people depend on you?

Being a support system for other people is sort of like having a superpower. Your presence has energy that others can feel just by being around you. It feels safe, making it easy for them to open up and maybe even ask for help.

 

Those who have this quality are likely to be spectacular beings, but being there for others can have its challenges. On one hand, being the person that others depend on can bring you a sense of fulfillment, knowing that you have a positive influence on someone’s life.

 

On the other hand, being the person people depend on can feel like a heavy responsibility, that could ultimately cloud your focus of what matters most.

 

It’s easy to lose yourself in what you believe you “should be” doing for others, while your needs get pushed to the bottom of the priority list.

 

Before you find yourself experiencing angst, frustration, or worse, resentment, it’s important to become aware of your relationship with being there for others.

self care isn t selfish signage

 

Checking-In With Yourself

Some people have very welcoming energy about them, once you’re around them you feel comfortable and safe to speak your truth. This is a wonderful gift that could easily be taken advantage of if you’re not careful.

 

People who are always there for their loved ones, coworkers, and sometimes the occasional stranger on a park bench, aren’t always there for themselves. It’s challenging to set a boundary that requires you NOT to be available for other people, after all it has become a part of who you are.

 

This doesn’t mean that being of service is a bad thing, but too much giving and not enough receiving is a recipe for an imbalanced lifestyle.

 

A good place to start is by checking in with your experience as well as how others are doing. The next time you are needed or being asked to do something, ask yourself:

 

  • How do I feel at this moment?

  • Can I handle this emotionally?

  • Am I doing this for the right reasons?

  • How will I feel after accomplishing this?

  • Will this hurt me or anyone else?

  • Is this way of helping aligned with my highest good?

 

eggs and lighted candles on marble top

Check in With Your Wellbeing

Get curious about how serving others is impacting your wellbeing. By deepening your connection with the service you provide you are more capable of creating a much-needed boundary.

 

Because if you are willing to do anything for anyone, you’re going to quickly burn yourself out. The more attentive you are to your own needs the better able you are to show up for those who need you most.

 

Tune into your energy levels, check-in on how you’re feeling, listen to any resistant thoughts popping up, all of these are signs that you need to take care of yourself.

 

When your energy is replenished you have more to give, no matter what pops up in your day. Start by checking in with how you’re feeling moment to moment and allow the honest answer to surface within you.

 

There is a difference between feeling overwhelmed and feeling disconnected from the way you serve your community. The only way to understand which one you are experiencing is by turning inward, which may not come naturally to someone who does so much for other people.

 

It can feel selfish to consider your own feelings because the obligation to others is so deeply rooted. The people who invest a considerable amount of time and energy into the needs of others are wired by service.

 

If left unchecked this can be a driving force toward resentment or anxiety about what you do and who you do it for. By tuning into your personal experience and choosing to be present you can tap into the truth of how this affects you.

 

love romantic bath candlelight

Self-Care is Necessary

 

When caring for others more often than not the mind is wired to focus on them, considering their needs before your own comes with the territory. But when you aren’t at your best you can’t deliver your best self to them.

 

Your performance may suffer, your energy levels may deplete, you may be physically present while your mind is somewhere else. Something as rewarding as serving, providing, and caring for others shouldn’t have to come at the cost of your mental health.

 

What I would love for you to take away is that there is most likely something in your life that isn’t getting the attention it deserves.

 

Maybe it’s the lack of healthy food your eating or movement you giving your body. Maybe it’s the way you deal with the hardest challenge in your life or the troubling emotions that feel too impossible to handle. I’m telling you to pay attention.

 

Look at how you treat the unpleasantness in your life, and how it returns the favor in your lifestyle. Notice the lack of attention you give yourself, while you glorify the attention you give others.

 

Raise your level of self-awareness so that you can truly begin to deal with and heal from whatever is going on in your life. This is the first step to being better for yourself and for those who need you most.

 

 

Love. Heal. Grow.

Posted in MindBody, Practices

A Guide to Creating Conscious Change: Alignment vs Action

Posted on by Sabrina Renee

Awakening to Your Life

Mindfulness is the practice of moment to moment awareness, awakening to your life as it is. This is a simple yet powerful practice that allows you to adopt a new set of attitudes, to view your world with a fresh pair of eyes. Becoming aware of who you are and what you are doing at this moment brings you out of the thinking mind and into the body, where experiences have been happening unnoticed. By bringing your attention to the experience of your physical sensations you are learning to ground into the present moment, whereas the thinking mind will take you away from it.

Awakening to your life as it is will bring opportunities of profound change into your life. Often people choose only to look at the future to dream, or to the past for reflection as a reference for the change they want. These ways of viewing experience and creating change can only get you so far. It’s the present moment that will reveal all the things about yourself that you’d like to change and how your current lifestyle choices are shaping you as a person. Therefore, if you want to become a better version of yourself tomorrow you have to start paying attention to how you’re showing up today.

The Steps of Conscious Change

A conscious change is one that you are involved in, have contemplated thoroughly, and decide on deliberately. Now is always the best time to time to create conscious change in your life. The first step, as you already learned, is becoming aware of what needs to change. But before any change occurs willingly most people wait until they’ve become frustrated with their own ways or circumstances. The laziness will begin to annoy you, the tardiness will impact your relationships, he procrastination will ruin yet another weekend, the doubts will no longer hold up as truth. You know deep down it could be better, and you also know that the responsibility for these changes falls on you. At some point, you will have to break up with your way of living and welcome change. Choose to do it before you’re at your wit’s end and save some energy for what’s to come. Here are the 3 steps to creating conscious change or A.C.T.

  1. Awareness

    Becoming aware of what needs changing is the first and most important step. Nothing can shift in your life until you become aware of what needs to. This is the starting point for inviting the new and releasing the old, where you learn to focus on what is serving your highest good.

  2. Choice

    After taking some time to observe there’s of your life you’d like to change, you’ll then get ready to make a choice. Sometimes this choice is a giant leap into the unknown, while other times it’s a simple step in the right direction. Even if it’s a small change it can conjure up some indecisiveness within you. This step is about deciding on what feels the best rather than comparing what “would be” better. You can’t see how things will play out exactly but you can tap into your intuition and figure out what course is best for you to take.

  3. Trust

    Finally, it’s time to trust this entire process. Trust in your ability to observe what behaviors, thoughts, or habits need to change in your life. Trust that your choice is a stable one that will bring you closer to who you envision yourself becoming. Trust within your ability to consciously create an overall improved lifestyle for you. Each time you actively build inner trust you strengthen the foundation of your relationship with yourself and your ability to make things happen in your life.

Observing Misalignment

To understand whether you are on the path bringing you closer to who you wish to become, it’s important to know when you’re misaligned or veering off course. An indication that you are experiencing alignment is when you are feeling positive and pleasant emotions. Alignment is the experience of feeling good and allowing more good feelings to find you. This happens when you are thinking healthy thoughts, making choices that line up with your idea of happiness or success and position yourself in a way that invites more of this feeling. An indication of misalignment is when you are feeling negative or unpleasant emotions. In this state of being, you are allowing more of these experiences to gravitate toward you. This happens when you’re thinking of harmful or uneasy thoughts, making choices out of emotional reactivity that do not align with your idea of happiness or success.

Although alignment is the ultimate goal, it’s important that you learn to notice when misalignment is occurring. The most notable thing to become aware of is the experience arising in your body. When you’re thinking troublesome thoughts or experiencing an unpleasant moment, it does not stay only in your mind. It travels throughout the body depositing stress in pockets of your muscles, bones, and internal systems. If you can begin to link your mental experiences with your physical ones you’ll begin to uncover certain patterns of behavior that follow your thoughts. For instance, if you are thinking thoughts of self-doubt your shoulders are likely to slouch and round forward; if you are experiencing an anxious thought that may appear in the body is a fast heart rate or sweaty palms.

Once you’ve become aware of misalignment in your mind you can locate it in your body. The thought patterns you’ve created over the years are powerful and often difficult to shift into a more pleasant experience. That’s why it’s important for you to recognize how misalignment shows up in your body, because that you can change by moving. Move your body in a healthy way, go for a walk if you can, stretch your arms, roll your shoulders back and release the tension in your face, unclench your jaw and take a deep breath. All of these simple choices will help bring you toward feeling better. The closer you are to feeling better the closer you become to alignment. Once you have tapped into the feeling and experience of alignment you can begin to take action toward your goals.

Planning Your Action

Deciding to take action or make an important decision isn’t something to be done without consideration. The right plan of action taking at the wrong time could push you further back than when you started. This is where the importance of alignment comes in. Making decisions in a state of clarity will bring you closer to the change you wish to see, whereas making decisions in a state of emotional reactivity most likely won’t. Although there is a huge difference between allowing your emotions to overcome you and channeling their energy for change, some people can’t quite point out those differences. For most people, emotions running high isn’t something that you thrive off of. It’s actually more likely to stress you out than bring you clarity or confidence about what’s next. This is why alignment and action go hand in hand.

By orienting yourself in the direction of joy, happiness, and success, you are aligning with your higher self. The more you consciously align with yourself the easier it will be to take action. Think of alignment as making your way to the diving board, each step bringing you closer to what you want to do, have, or be. The closer you get the more intense you’ll experience feelings of excitement, joy, and maybe a tinge of apprehension, but you keep moving. toward what it is you want. Now imagine jumping off the diving board as your plan of action, diving into the unknown whether it be by a single step or a massive leap. Don’t rush your way into action without appreciating the role and significance of aligning yourself with what’s meant for you.

Let’s Review

Mindful awareness is the key component in creating any conscious change. Awakening to your life as it unfolds means to release resistance to the state of your life now, so that you may invite new opportunities to find you. Before you begin to make changes you must first become aware of the areas in your life and things involved that need change. In this article, I’ve mapped out 3 steps of creating conscious change that can serve as a guide to making strong decisions that instill your inner trust. By first becoming aware of what needs changing, then making a conscious choice of how to move forward, and finally learning to trust the outcome and your ability to handle it. After you’ve made your decisions and have begun to experience that inner trust, you can learn to build on it by practicing alignment.

The simplest way to practice alignment is to become aware of the moments you’re feeling good and work to invite more of that feeling. This does not mean resisting negative emotions or rejecting unpleasant experiences, these are all apart of the journey. Instead, it’s about becoming aware of both alignment and misalignment, observing and understanding how they both show up in your experience. Misalignment will be tied to negative emotions and bodily sensations of feeling contracted or tight. Being in alignment will feel more open and flowing, with pleasant thoughts and positive feelings. After you’ve become familiar with how it is you want to feel continue striving for that feeling, building up the opportunity to take action. A plan of action is powerful on its own, just like aligning yourself with how you want to experience life is powerful. however, together they become an undeniable force propelling you toward the life you are creating.

You are the creator of your life experience and you are responsible for the ways you choose to respond to the world around you. Every day you are capable of bringing yourself closer to your higher self. It’s in the choices you make, the thoughts you observe, and the behaviors you begin to uncover. Bring a sense of curiosity to what it is you’re noticing within yourself and work on releasing judgment. Who you are today doesn’t have to be defined as good or bad, right or wrong, success or failure. Practice mindfulness with how you are showing up each day as a means for understanding the person you’ve become, not condemning or judging but welcoming. Allow your experience to be one that reveals deeper levels of yourself and uses them as ways to expand.

If you want to create conscious change in your life never stop paying attention. Keep aligning with what feels good and releasing what does not. Keep coming back to the present moment and all of the wonders it has to offer. And when this road gets more challenging than you had anticipated, keep coming back to the breath. Because as long as there is another breath cycle flowing through your body, you have another chance to begin again.

Posted in Growth, Personal Growth, Practices

How to Float and Sting: A Champion’s Guide

Posted on by Sabrina Renee

Recently ESPN has been playing reruns of old sporting events, keeping their viewers nostalgic for the good ol’ days. Personally, I think that’s a genius idea, watching greatness in any form is the exact reminder people around the world need right now. My husband is a fan of boxing so he’s been tuning into the Muhammad Ali matches. Although growing up I heard his name all the time I never saw him in action until now.

 

So for the past couple of weeks, I’ve been able to witness him in his prime, strong, focused, confident, and a true champion. Although I’m not much of a boxing fan even I can appreciate his effort, his talent, and his overall greatness. It’s incredibly inspiring to get wrapped up in, truthfully. And that got me thinking about what it means to be a champion.

 

Sure maybe some people are born with an undeniable purpose to fill the shoes of greatness, but being a champion is also a set of qualities or traits one can adopt. While this historical 1st of 3 fights between Muhammad Ali and Joe Frazier played in the background all I could think was

 

“How does it look to be a champion outside of sports?

How does it feel to be a champion in your own life?

What’s it like to believe in yourself so devoutly that you don’t accept the possibility that anything could stop you?”

 

A few answers began to surface. Champions never quit because their mind doesn’t see that as an option. There are even some scenarios where an athlete’s body has suddenly quit on them and they somehow, miraculously push forward laser-focused on their mission to win. Champions are built to keep going so their mind is programmed to always find a way to the end goal, always adapting and improving.

 

Imagine the powerful shift this attitude would create for the pursuit of YOUR aspirations and desires, approaching the road ahead as a champion. Not ever thinking that it’s too late for anything, always giving everything you have inside, and keeping faith in the outcome even when your chances are slim.

 

How miraculous would your life be if you became the champion of it?

 

A Champion Lifestyle

All of the greats in sports like boxing, basketball, and football are known for their obsessive training. They view each day as the perfect opportunity to improve their skill set. They are excellent at prioritizing their time to hone in on their craft, reflecting on how they’ve improved, and setting high standards and even more scrupulous goals along the way.

 

A champion’s attention to detail is fine-tuned because it’s a mental muscle they use often, it’s their job to anticipate and prepare themselves for all scenarios without losing sight of the winning outcome.

 

Once becoming a recognized champion, each person receives an entire team of people to help them achieve their goals. A fitness trainer provides a wellness strategy, a specialized coach to build up their weaknesses, and a person scheduling their practices and real-life matches or games. Although champions naturally keep themselves accountable with their internal drive for more they still have someone nudging them along with wisdom and guidance.

 

All of these structures hold in place the intricacy of their routines, finding balance and coordination in their training and their life. But there once was a time when this individual had to show up and do that work on their own.

 

Champions are made, not born. Even if someone has breathtaking talent from the moment they arrive earth-side, mere talent alone doesn’t win championships. There are a myriad of habits that must be cultivated, discipline that must be learned, a passion that must be fueled, and, of course, the time to develop the talent to championship level. If every champion waited for the coach to show up and the trainer to push them, the world would have a shortage of clips recalling greatness.

 

Champions worked for it even when no one else could see the end goal. They fueled their faith muscles and shrunk their doubts, moving forward with the best plans they could create until they learned to improve. Champions worked hard when no one was watching so they could prevail for all to see.

 

 

So, what makes a champion?

 

Environment (what/who you surround yourself with, by)

The people and places you are surrounded by are going to have an incredible impact on the person you become. Circumstances shape a person, and even if you can’t cut certain people out of your life or move your location right now, you always have choices. Champions choose to practice over party, to work hard over being lazy, to get back up after the entire world knocks them down.

 

Vision (focus)

Having the ability to create a specific outcome in your mind’s eye is a significant part of training in a champion’s life. They have their eye on the prize even when the odds are stacked up against them and this comes with practice. Focus, in an instant gratification world, is a tall order but it’s just as possible for you as it is for a boxing champion. It’s all about what you continue putting your attention on.

Champions know the importance of cutting out distractions and being aware of when they’ve become distracted. Each time their mind wanders is another opportunity to train in focus, bringing themselves back to the vision they’ve painted of success, winning, and overcoming.

 

Persistence(never giving up)

Champions have any talents and traits that lead the way to their greatness, persistence may be the strongest one. To have a quality that doesn’t allow you to quit on yourself or your dreams means you will get there. It may look different from how you picture it, it may be harder than you planned, but as long as you never stop going after it there’s always a chance.

Persistence is so strong because it’s a combination of knowing who you are and what you’re capable of, mixed with your mindset and mind’s eye goals. If you can think it you can become it, champions know this at their core and will persist until the end of time.

 

Structure (prioritize your time and energy)

Having a solid structure throughout a champion’s life is the glue that holds the entire operation together. It may not be one of the more sexy traits but it’s absolutely essential to have a schedule. In an athlete’s season, and yours too, there are times for rest and time for work, times to refuel your energy and time’s to explode with it.

The conditions of your life will continue fluctuating, your structure while strong will also need to be flexible for the changes you find yourself facing. Extra time cannot be found so it’s important to use each moment appropriately and to plan ahead for things that may unfold. Energy is generated within you, so it can always be replenished but only when you’re away from depletion.

The structure is more than just setting goals and making them happen, it’s about tuning into what’s best for you right now and adjusting accordingly.

 

Attention to detail (caring about the big and small stuff alike)

Although some aspects of life may be seen as more significant than others, nothing is seen as unimportant in a champion’s lifestyle. From the way they eat and the clothes, they train in, to the music they listen to and the times they complete their routines. Each of these things serves a purpose and is chosen particularly with conscious attention and effort.

Champions leave nothing for chance, whether their decision comes from within or they seek outside counsel for insight because they know the importance of being decisive and attentive. Making their way to their desired outcome won’t happen if anything is left to probability or coincidence, they understand the importance of input and don’t hesitate to apply it.

 

Balance (enjoy and execute)

When Muhammad Ali said, “float like a butterfly sting like a bee” he simplified the beauty of balance, gentleness, and confidence, be light yet strong, smart yet forceful, knowing when to align and when to take action.

This way of living, fighting, playing, and being is cultivated over time and consistent practice. Learning when to push and when to pull, applying all of the traits and habits that make a champion, witnessing how they unfold, knowing when to go along for the ride and when to take the wheel.

Experiencing balance originates in the mind, being able to find a confident and calm stillness within you is the first step to allowing balance to surround you. You’ll know it when you feel it, and even more so when you don’t.

 

Be The Greatest

Whatever your calling in life or purpose on this planet, choose to be the greatest at it. Being the greatest in this case doesn’t mean comparing your success to the levels of anyone else, in fact, you are your only competition. The person you were at the beginning of this venture is who you’re competing with, proving it to, making you proud, and using as an example that anything is possible for you.

 

Showing up as your best self is going to look different for every person, in every changing season of life. Muhammad Ali as a 20-year-old is an incredible athletic machine, while years down the line his greatness took a different form. He grew mentally and physically, so it was important that his craft adapted to those changes. Whatever youth took from him physically he replaced with the wisdom and experience of being in the ring all these years.

 

Each of us has an innate wisdom that will help carry into our desired outcomes, along with a set of champion-lie traits. This means you have the capability to become the champion of your life today just by applying a champion mindset to your life. Become aware of your environment and how it’s shaping you, continue fueling your vision by practicing holding your focus on what matters most, and never ever quit on what you believe in because it’s always possible to achieve. I

 

t’s important to have a structure that holds all of this together, making sure you’re managing your time and energy efficiently, giving complete attention to detail, and never overlooking one bit of where your time goes. Finding balance will come in time, the more you practice tuning into your experiences, feelings, and results, the deeper you’ll get to know internal struggles. When peace is found within nothing outside can rock you.

 

Imagine how powerful the shift in your life would be if you decided to tackle all roads with the mindset and determination of a champion. All that’s left is to decide which part of your life have you not been showing up as the champion of.

 

Start taking stock of which traits have you been allowed to slip through the cracks over the years, or maybe always struggled with. Begin to visualize what being a champion looks like in your personal and professional life, think about who would benefit and the ripple effect of goodness shared. The best place to start is by dreaming big without limits, begin visualizing what greatness feels like to you, and never stop seeking clarity on it.

 

Remember all champions have to start somewhere, so start here, today.

 

Thanks for checking out this post! I think you may also like this podcast episode: 

5 Questions to Get to Know Yourself

5 Questions to Get To Know Yourself

Posted in Practices, Spirituality

Counting Your Blessings To Create More

Posted on by Sabrina Renee

How Do I Feel Grateful?

Gratitude is an incredibly powerful attitude to live by because it attracts more into your life to be grateful for. By practicing gratitude you are bringing into your focus all the wonderful ways life has blessed you already. To feel gratitude is to experience a thankful-ness about the things, people, events, circumstances, or feelings in your life. Sometimes it can wash over you in an instant, like on holidays with family or during a graduation ceremony when you’re reminded of what it means to tangibly be grateful. But this magical feeling doesn’t always happen by chance and that’s when it’s needed the most.

Gratitude happens by focusing your attention on the abundance of your life. This state of mind, however, isn’t always easy to tap into, especially when the focus is on what you are lacking. Once you become aware that the you’re focused on all that you don’t have enough of, you’ll need something to guide you back to the right mindset. The compass that will lead you to this feeling of happiness and abundant joy is your emotions. Although most people see their emotions ONLY as something that fluctuates within them naturally and without their control, there is another way to experience them. Emotions shouldn’t be pushed down or ignored because they are signifying an experience unfolding within you, leaving you breadcrumbs to further understand how you’re handling things in your life. They can, however, be directed by or generated within you to stop feelings from controlling or dictating your next move.

For instance, if you suddenly begin to feel fearful it’s important to honor those emotions as they arise because they are real. But it’s just as important that you tune into how they are hijacking your decision making because oftentimes those scenarios in your mind are not real. A feeling is something you can choose to focus on as a response to an emotion. In order to experience gratitude, it must be felt and you must be aligned with that feeling. It isn’t enough to say “I am grateful for this moment” when you’re feeling miserable because energy never lies. In order to invite more blessings into your life, you have to FEEL grateful now for all that you have.

Shifting Your Perception From Lack to Plenty

What you focus on you invite more of, therefore by focusing on all that you are lacking you are affirming this in your life. People often have mistaken complaining about all that they do not have as a way of expressing what it is they want to attract. The words you say don’t necessarily hold the power, it’s the energy you are aligning with as you say those words. The universe speaks in energy and frequency, not your native tongue. Whatever you are focusing your attention on is also what you are focusing your energy toward. So if you’re complaining about being in debt, how you want to get out of debt, and how great things will be once you’ve paid off your debt, the universe hears you speaking loud and clear about debt. All of your emotion behind the word debt is being exquisitely expressed in the opposite way you’ve intended. Your energy doesn’t align with financial freedom, cash flow, abundance, and it certainly doesn’t align with any positive feelings because you’re not feeling them. Instead, you’re feeling, experiencing, and focusing on lack.

The way to bring more of what you want into your life is to get clear on how you want to feel. Start by focusing on feeling blessed for all that you have right now. Bring to mind all of the things that make you feel blessed and remind you of how your life truly is a blessing.

Blessings Practice

If you’re new to visualization than it’s a difficult practice to see yourself with all that you desire. When you’re living life from a lacking perspective nothing will ever be enough for you. So a good place to start is where ever you are, find the gratitude in that. Bring your attention to all of the ways life is working FOR you.

  • Shift your focus to all of the tools, support, people, and belongings you woke up with this morning.

  • Start to bring to mind how your incredible body keeps you alive and healthy for another set of 24 hours, air flowing through your lungs, heart beating, internal systems working diligently without any help from you.

  • Consider the senses you woke up with and the ways they contribute to the life you are able to live today.

  • Appreciate the place you call home, the amenities you use without a second thought. Running water, a stove, a refrigerator, appliances that allow you to cook, clean, and take care of your essential needs.

  • Now expand your awareness to the external, things you were able to accomplish, overcome, create, and make strides in.

  • Take a moment to practice gratitude for all that you are, all the places you’ve been, and all of the lessons you’ve been taught as a result.

  • See yourself, your life, and all that you’ve been through as a blessing that invites more blessings.

Being a Magnet for Blessings

Your life is full of reasons to be grateful and blessings to be counted, it’s time that you start actively seeking them out each day. At the start of your morning count all of the ways that you are able to enjoy this day. Make an effort to connect with the positive feelings of being alive and the opportunities that may brings. At the end of each day reflect on all of the wonderful people and situations that are unfolding making life even more interesting. As you begin to expand your awareness of yourself and your surroundings, try telling yourself that life is happening FOR you rather than to you. Connect with the universal power that is all around you to ground you into the wonders of this moment. This will help you practice shifting into alignment with all that is meant for you to receive.

Jon Kabat-Zinn says “As long as there is breath in your body, there is more right with you than wrong with you.” If you ever find it challenging to focus on all the goodness in your life, start with the fact that you are still breathing. Breath is still flowing effortlessly through your body and that is the ultimate reminder that you are meant to be here for something greater. In order for you to receive more than you already have you must appreciate what you already have. Learn to see the beauty in the chaos, the growth in each obstacle, the joy in each pain, and the beginning in each ending. Make a habit of looking for the blessings in each day and watch as they continue to increase. If you want to be a magnet for blessings recognized that you are already blessed. Start by knowing you have all that you need in this moment because that in itself is a blessing.

Love Heal Grow

Posted in Growth

How to B.L.O.O.M in Dark Times

Posted on by Sabrina Renee

concrete tunnel

The Void

It’s been said that destruction is often the first step in recreation. The caterpillar must die for the butterfly to come to form. Sometimes when it feels like your life is falling apart, it’s actually beginning to come together in a new and improved way.

While in the thick of the storm it’s hard to see that it will pass because you’re focused on lack, damage, and change. The normalcy as you know it has ended, leaving you in what is known as the void-a space between what was and what will be.

During your time in the void, you’ll be learning about your true nature, being stripped from life as you know it can do that to you. You’ll be forced to shift your perspective into the next steps to take or stay stagnant, waiting for the storm to pass.

The truth is all storms pass, everything changes, nothing is permanent. But what is also true is there is a version of you who enters the void and a version of you who leaves it, you’ll be changed forever.

How you shape that perspective and build that character depends on the choices you make in the void.

close up photography of pink tulip flower

Are you buried or planted?

Bring to mind the seeds that are placed in the ground to harvest. Think of the trying times and tests they are put through before becoming a plant, a tree, medicine, or food on your plate.

Dug into a deep dark hole with little if any light, left only with an innate sense that something is going to happen next. Life can feel just like this at times. Things are dark and uncertain, you know something’s going to happen but aren’t sure what will.

All that you’ve got is your will to push through and the mindset to fuel it, but these things are choices, not obligations. The perspective you choose will determine the difference between whether you have been buried and planted in the ground. And your choice will begin propelling you toward that outcome.

Being buried feels like a complete lack of control over your life. Feeling the weight of the world on top of you, keeping the light from coming in. An experience similar to suffocation as you’re being pushed down deep into a swirl of emotions that continue reminding you of all the things you can’t change.

At first, it may seem that these things are happening to you, but after a while, you begin to expect it and maybe even seek the presence of unease. Simply put, the void means you’re not living the life you’ve been used to but you’re also not yet living your next chapter because it’s still being built.

It can feel like standing still in a field with no paths leading home until you choose to make one. If you choose to believe you’re being buried this feeling will last a very long time and you’ll continue to miss out on what’s waiting for you.

Being planted will have similar emotions attached but with a difference in feeling. While emotions arise naturally within feelings are focused on and determined by will. The experience may still be unpleasant but you’ll learn to focus on what is waiting for you on the other side of this trying time.

There may still be weight over you of all that you’ve lost but you’ll begin to acknowledge what is no longer holding you back. You’ll still be in darkness for quite some time but you strongly believe that if you push on a little longer, that light will shine through.

The time spent living in the void is a time to accept what is as a start to a brand new beginning. If you can shift your perspective from darkness to light, while still in the darkness, you’ve begun laying the foundation of the next chapter. When you choose the perspective of being planted there is no place to go but up, and you’re well on your way.

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Relax, Release, Allow

Acceptance is a large step toward whatever lifestyle or goal you are trying to reach. You need a starting point and that’s what acceptance gives to you. Acceptance isn’t giving in or quitting.

It’s not telling yourself this is your way of living forever and it’s definitely not a pass to let time go by without putting effort into change. It is only once you’ve fully accepted where you are at this time in your life can you begin to see clearly where it is you’re going.

The three steps to come back to that help pave the way for life after acceptance are:

relax, release, and allow.

Relaxing into this moment means mentally and physically too since the body often holds onto tension, sometimes hours after your thoughts and emotions have passed. Bring more attention to the body’s sensations while you’re experiencing unpleasant emotions or thought patterns.

It takes time, practice, and consistency so be patient with yourself as you meet the parts of you that are troubling to navigate. Keep practicing. Keep coming back with a single breath cycle, an inhale and an exhale, to ground you back into your body and the present moment.

Once you’ve begun to relax your mind and body you can start moving into releasing what you are trying to hold onto. This should start at an internal level such as limiting beliefs, physical tension, and negative thoughts that are causing burdensome experiences.

Again, be patient with yourself and don’t quit because it’s hard to focus long enough. It won’t be easy but the simple way to approach it is to come back to the breath, the present moment, accepting what is even if it’s uncomfortable.

Whether you are aware of what’s happening within you or are keeping your eyes shut to the fact, it’s happening. Think of this practice as an awakening to your true self, drops of awareness in a giant bucket of consciousness.

When you’ve relaxed into the moment, begun to release what’s been holding you back, you can finally shift into allowing.

If you choose to believe you have been planted then you must believe that there is more transformation for you to go through. Being planted into the ground is the first step of many that lead to extraordinary growth that comes in stages.

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In order for you to expand and prosper you must first allow for these experiences to happen. Relaxing and releasing what has happened or what is currently unfolding is different from practicing allowance, which can refer to either this moment or what is on the way.

A good way to remind you to practice allowance is by bringing your attention to when you are choosing resistance. Notice if you’re resisting anything at this moment, in your life, or in the grand scheme of things.

There are plenty of circumstances out of your control that you do not have to enjoy or even agree with, but resistance is a choice. When you choose resistance you’re investing energy in not letting go to a perceived idea or way of living, instead of proactively considering your next move.

Practice shifting your energy to what you can do.

Expansion often arrives disguised as discomfort, suffering, the paralyzing fear of not knowing what comes which helps deepen your roots while forcing you to reach higher. The higher you reach the closer you meet the goodness and light that trying to meet you.

Allow Yourself to B.L.O.O.M

This simple acronym is an effective way to remember how to navigate through the void of your life. Each time you visit it’ll surface different answers to these prompts, but it will always shift your perspective toward growth.

It’s important to remember that which does not challenge you will not change you, start looking for the ways you can improve right now no matter how small the step. Become aware of what is happening in the void without attaching your personal story to it.

Begin stripping away the judgments you attach to the struggle you are up against and start thinking of practical ways to maneuver through. The time you spend in the unknown months of your life can be a powerful shift in mindset, skill set, and momentum if you allow it to be.

These 5 prompts are a great place to start.

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Blessings

Practice shifting your attention toward all of the wonderful things you have at this moment. Bring your focus to the feeling of your blessings, it’s less about the story surrounding it so don’t get caught up in details.

Each time you practice you’re expanding your imagination which is a muscle that weakens each time you choose doubt and disbelief. This will make it easier to visualize and believe in the blessings that are on their way to you.

Lessons

Learn how to focus on the growth-focused takeaways from each day you live through. Make a shift from the perspective of the sufferer to the student seeking out all the lessons you could learn from what you’re going through.

It could be as simple as learning to never make that mistake again or learning to incorporate more patience into your day. As with all of these exercises you’ll get better with consistent practice.

Obstacles

Acknowledge the obstacles in your path with an attitude of conquering them, crumbling before them. Recognize the journey will not be one of ease all the time and there will be things that trip you up.

Shift your focus to how you’ll overcome them, what skills you need to acquire, how much time you’ll need to invest, and how wonderful the reward will be on the other side. Obstacles are not optional, they’re necessary for growth, but what is optional is the way you choose to approach them,

Opportunities

Actively begin seeking ways to improve mentally, emotionally, and personally to create a better lifestyle. There are plenty of opportunities for you to grow through what you go through if you’re looking for them, which means you have to practice focus.

Start with your thought patterns, limiting beliefs of what’s possible for you, intense emotional reactions, and the environment you’re in. Open up a running tab of ways to be a little better than you were yesterday. Start slow, be realistic with the season you’re in, but never suit looking for expansion.

Momentum

Start to strategically combine all that you’ve learned and practiced with the above concepts and create an action plan. Be honest with how lofty your dreams are and don’t make that a bad thing, just start with what you’ve got and move forward.

Momentum is going to be the driving force that pushes you out of your comfort zone and into the successful lifestyle you imagine for yourself. You also need to be honest about the season of life you’re in, the burdens you’re carrying, and what you’re capable of sustaining once you start.

Some people can take quantum leaps, while others have to take baby steps, don’t judge yourself on where you’re starting momentum has a way of picking up quick.

Let’s Review

At some point in your life, you will find yourself in the void, the space between who you were and who you’re becoming. It can be a time of confusion, fear, scarcity, and uncertainty. It can also be a time of hope, empowerment, faith, and growth.

The beauty of the void is your perspective determines what you get out of it. The situation itself isn’t something you have control over but the response to it is in your hands. Before you respond to something that’s happening around you it’s important to practice introspection to find out how you feel about it, what you want out of it, and how you’re gonna make it happen.

Don’t be afraid to sit with yourself during uncomfortable times. In fact, this should be the first thing you do. Get to know what’s going on inside of you, learn about your fears, ask about your desires and the person you want to become. Don’t stay stagnant in the void because in time it will become a memory of the past. So how do you want to remember this time?

As Jon Kabat-Zinn so perfectly titled his book “Wherever You Go, There You Are.,” so stop running from yourself. Relax into the present moment because it’s the only one that actually exists, the rest are either memories, ruminations, assumptions, or expectations of the past and future.

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Be here now.

Release your grip on what has past, what is no longer serving your highest good, what cannot be changed and notice how all of those thoughts impact your body. Start letting go of tension in your body, release your clenched jaw and fists, uncurl your toes, sit up straight and just present.

Stop resisting what you don’t like about this moment, stop pushing away your reality in hopes of feeling better, stop denying things as they are and awaken to the power you have right now. Stop trying to change your life by resisting what is and start focusing your energy on what you can do about it.

Allow yourself to expand into new possibilities, creating space for new chances and fresh starts to find you. Allow yourself to bloom.

Start by counting your blessings every day and finding the lessons you could be learning every night. Start acknowledging the obstacles in your path as chances to enhance your mindset, skill set, and awareness of the journey ahead.

Start seeking opportunities in ordinary moments to improve your emotional and mental wellbeing, while growing into the person of your soul’s highest desire. Begin building the momentum you need to push you upward, into the light and out of the darkness.

All of this is possible if you’re open to change, if you believe that you are enough as you are, and if you start now.

Love Heal Grow