Understanding Emotions

Posted on June 5, 2020 by Sabrina Renee

Exposure

The year 2020 has been painful, eye-opening, excruciating, exhausting, and expansive. The lesson I’ve learned the loudest this month was to embrace exposure in more ways than one. For the first half of the year my priority was to reach people by creating content for my community serving their highest self. Exposing myself into the world as a mindful entrepreneur who is passionate about helping people love, heal, and grow through their experiences. I think exposure has always been a fear of mine waiting to be conquered, but I never quite knew how. When you set your mind to seeking something in life it has a miraculous way of finding you.

In April I began leading live meditations on Instagram, creating communities founded on self-development and inner work, and making resources to help people handle the issues I’ve overcome. Vulnerably sharing my journey as a means of connecting to those who are going through something too. This year had truly been about stepping into the role of a conscious leader, taking a giant leap toward my purpose on this planet. And while this type of exposure had it’s own unique challenges, overall it’s been a rewarding. Walking into the idea of exposure head on led me to leveling up my awareness of self and ability to serve my community. It’s been an incredibly personal journey, a true blessing and a dream come true that I will never take for granted.

Which leads me to the second half of the year, the time we’re entering where I’m provided a different opportunity to be exposed. This time it’s a much more intense, fearful, painful, and life altering experience. Opening my eyes and my heart to those who suffer the violent reality of oppression, racism, and injustice. I’ve exposed myself to the system that has been created to oppress, demean, and disrespect the black community. In these last fews days I’ve done something I never do and dove deep into the painful reality in my country today. Reading articles, watching videos, interacting on social platforms, and tuned into news outlets that are showing in real time people fighting for basic human rights, only to be met with even more violence and physical force.

While my heart aches over this type of exposure it fuels a different part of me than the first type does. The first type of exposure is an example of alignment, overcoming a limit I set for myself, achieving something I had set out to even though it was scary at first. It’s about me, my goals, my dreams, my purpose. That type of exposure is of personal gain. However this second type cracked me open entirely because it came from outside myself. It’s bigger than me. What I’m experiencing through a screen people are living with in this moment. The words I’m hearing on the news are someone else’s life circumstances. There is no comparison between the types of exposure, but there is a significant difference in the lessons I choose to take from them. One helps me believe I can create change when it’s necessary, and the second one reminds me just how necessary it is to change.

Healing and Serving

Empathy can only be felt toward another person. By empathizing with someone you become connected to that person through your understanding and compassion. That understanding and compassion is the bridge between a personal gain and a collective experience. But until we are able to experience that understanding and compassion within ourselves, we can’t cross that bridge and help someone else discover it. While achievement on a personal level is something to be proud of, it pales in comparison to create change on a lager scale. The second type of exposure is what cracks you wide open, it causes you to become overwhelmed and inspired. Exposing yourself to different cultures, communities, and all of the chaos surrounding you is how you REALLY help others.

Both types of exposure are important to me and so I’ve begun to merge them as one giant realization that by expanding my own knowledge I’ll inevitably be expanding the knowledge of the people who choose to tune into me. All I want to do is teach you how to tune into yourself. Teaching mindfulness is how I serve my people. It’s my duty and obligation to share resources, tools, guidance, and support. It’s my duty as a human being to advocate for the rights of others. And there’s never been a more powerful time to be the lighthouse for those traveling through treacherous waters.

Like all powerful educators, I have to consciously choose to be a student first. The best way to do that is to allow myself to feel the powerful energy that’s surrounding us all and choose to be with it rather than run. It is only through fully experiencing the life of those I’m trying to connect with that I can serve them with intentional compassion. Tuning into emotions allows me to open up to learning by surrendering the notion that I know the answer. Because there is no answer to know, right now is a time to experience emotions authentically. There is no right way to do that. The more familiar I get with the feelings of anger, sadness, hopelessness, and fear the deeper I connect to everyone else experiencing these emotions. Because we are just an extension of those experiencing those emotions. And now more than ever it’s important to make the effort to focus on the ways we are connected and not divided.

Truthfully, I want to scream and shake the shoulders of the people who are actively creating division in the world. The disgust I feel is strong enough to blind me, keeping my attention focused on the horrific events happening to innocent humans. The pain that must be coursing through the veins of the loved ones who are grieving for their babies, fathers, and sons. When I turn the controls over to my emotions there is no telling where my brain will take me. It’s not uncommon to be overrun with emotion, I’d even argue that most people are walking through life this way all the time. But it’s times like these that make it even more dangerous for our emotions to get the best of us. Especially when there are groups of people who aren’t empathetic and who are stoking the fires of the crimes and injustices of the world.

My goal isn’t to stop you from pointing fingers at who’s right and who’s wrong. My goal is to introduce another way of approaching your emotions at this time. Giving you the tools to shift your perspective long enough to create space for another way of coping if your way is hurting, not helping. To teach you to pause long enough and ask yourself if you’re handling this the best way you can. My goal is to start the conversation about the ways humans are causing their own suffering because their personal narrative has hijacked their senses. This article is to help you navigate the emotions that are distracting you, while channeling their energy into what matters most.

Emotional Connectivity

Even if you’re not outraged particularly by police brutality, racial injustice, or the horrifying media that’s been surfacing all weekend, there is still something in your life that elicits negative emotions. There are things that bring darkness out of you, have led you into darkness, or have forced you to become consumed by it all. Humans are running wildly unaware of the power resting in their emotional state. There is a large disconnect from the body and an incredible attachment to the narrative part of the mind, the part of you that creates the persona of who you are. As the division of mind and body grows, the story playing inside the mind becomes your primary focus. You focus so intently on the story of who you are that you forget you are an extension of others. The narrative in your mind plays so loud you forget it’s created by thoughts flowing untamed, and you begin to accept this as truth. With each repeating thought pattern and every decision that aligns with them, you are further separating yourself from what is happening to your body. But the stronger that narrative inside your mind becomes the louder your suffering gets, and the harder it is to see your connection to other human beings at all.

See, each time you experience an emotion it appears in your body in the form of sensation. Negative feeling emotions tend to show up as constriction, tightness, heaviness, and pain. Positive feeling emotions tend to show up as an openness, pleasure, lightweight, and allowance. Tuning into the body while you’re experiencing an intense emotion can introduce the power of the mindbody connection. The more present you become with how your body is responding to your thoughts and emotions, the deeper you can meet yourself. And as you begin uncovering these layers of emotion you can become aware of your choices, rather than being imprisoned by emotion.

You, like every other human in existence, has been driven to experience negative and intense emotional states. And although people experience these emotions for different reasons and triggers, the similar nature of emotional beings cannot be denied. I won’t ask you to understand the people who don’t understand you, I won’t even ask you to expand your awareness to others. Instead, I want to lead you within yourself because this is where all change occurs. Because even though what is hurting you is coming from outside of you, these intense emotions are all happening inside you.

My mind brings me into thoughts of revenge and retaliation, my soul cries out for understanding and love, while my body is the vessel that carries either of these truths out. That’s what I recognize in every other human being right now, emotions flooding their minds, bodies, and souls. When an emotion surfaces with enough intensity it can overcome you, blinding you of any other way of thinking or being. An emotion that is so intense it’s power is intoxicating causing you to act on those thoughts of revenge or act on your soul’s cry for love.

But if people are being taken over by their emotional reactions to the world, they are disconnecting from themselves and from each other. Please, let’s reconnect.

Love. Heal. Grow.

MindBody, Practices

Self-Care While Serving Others: Wellness Tips for Caregivers

Posted on May 25, 2020January 21, 2021 by Sabrina Renee

Do people depend on you?

Being a support system for other people is sort of like having a superpower. Your presence has energy that others can feel just by being around you. It feels safe, making it easy for them to open up and maybe even ask for help.

Those who have this quality are likely to be spectacular beings, but being there for others can have its challenges. On one hand, being the person that others depend on can bring you a sense of fulfillment, knowing that you have a positive influence on someone’s life.

On the other hand, being the person people depend on can feel like a heavy responsibility, that could ultimately cloud your focus of what matters most.

It’s easy to lose yourself in what you believe you “should be” doing for others, while your needs get pushed to the bottom of the priority list.

Before you find yourself experiencing angst, frustration, or worse, resentment, it’s important to become aware of your relationship with being there for others.

Checking-In With Yourself

Some people have very welcoming energy about them, once you’re around them you feel comfortable and safe to speak your truth. This is a wonderful gift that could easily be taken advantage of if you’re not careful.

People who are always there for their loved ones, coworkers, and sometimes the occasional stranger on a park bench, aren’t always there for themselves. It’s challenging to set a boundary that requires you NOT to be available for other people, after all it has become a part of who you are.

This doesn’t mean that being of service is a bad thing, but too much giving and not enough receiving is a recipe for an imbalanced lifestyle.

A good place to start is by checking in with your experience as well as how others are doing. The next time you are needed or being asked to do something, ask yourself:

How do I feel at this moment?
Can I handle this emotionally?
Am I doing this for the right reasons?
How will I feel after accomplishing this?
Will this hurt me or anyone else?
Is this way of helping aligned with my highest good?

Check in With Your Wellbeing

Get curious about how serving others is impacting your wellbeing. By deepening your connection with the service you provide you are more capable of creating a much-needed boundary.

Because if you are willing to do anything for anyone, you’re going to quickly burn yourself out. The more attentive you are to your own needs the better able you are to show up for those who need you most.

Tune into your energy levels, check-in on how you’re feeling, listen to any resistant thoughts popping up, all of these are signs that you need to take care of yourself.

When your energy is replenished you have more to give, no matter what pops up in your day. Start by checking in with how you’re feeling moment to moment and allow the honest answer to surface within you.

There is a difference between feeling overwhelmed and feeling disconnected from the way you serve your community. The only way to understand which one you are experiencing is by turning inward, which may not come naturally to someone who does so much for other people.

It can feel selfish to consider your own feelings because the obligation to others is so deeply rooted. The people who invest a considerable amount of time and energy into the needs of others are wired by service.

If left unchecked this can be a driving force toward resentment or anxiety about what you do and who you do it for. By tuning into your personal experience and choosing to be present you can tap into the truth of how this affects you.

Self-Care is Necessary

When caring for others more often than not the mind is wired to focus on them, considering their needs before your own comes with the territory. But when you aren’t at your best you can’t deliver your best self to them.

Your performance may suffer, your energy levels may deplete, you may be physically present while your mind is somewhere else. Something as rewarding as serving, providing, and caring for others shouldn’t have to come at the cost of your mental health.

What I would love for you to take away is that there is most likely something in your life that isn’t getting the attention it deserves.

Maybe it’s the lack of healthy food your eating or movement you giving your body. Maybe it’s the way you deal with the hardest challenge in your life or the troubling emotions that feel too impossible to handle. I’m telling you to pay attention.

Look at how you treat the unpleasantness in your life, and how it returns the favor in your lifestyle. Notice the lack of attention you give yourself, while you glorify the attention you give others.

Raise your level of self-awareness so that you can truly begin to deal with and heal from whatever is going on in your life. This is the first step to being better for yourself and for those who need you most.

Love. Heal. Grow.

Growth, Spirituality

Learning to Surrender to Something More

Posted on May 17, 2020 by Sabrina Renee

What Does it Mean to Surrender?

The two forces constantly at play in your live are resistance and allowance. Both resistance and allowance show up as energy that propels your thinking, behavior, and even your emotional state. If you are choosing a state of resistance you are refusing to accept life circumstances as they are. Your energy flows where your attention goes, and your attention is what you focus on. Therefore, by focusing on what you lack, dislike, and find unpleasant you are choosing a resistant energy to handle what’s happening. Of course suffering is a part of the human experience, negative emotions are always going to surface and that’s not necessarily a bad thing, even though it may feel that way. The point isn’t to rid yourself of low vibration emotions entirely, but instead to notice when you are fueling the fire that burns them.

By choosing a state of allowance you are opening yourself to recognize what is happening. You allow yourself to experience life as it is, without comparing or fixating on alternative ways it could or should have played out. Instead of investing your energy on what you don’t want to happen, your focus is instead on accepting it already has happened. There is nothing that can be changed except your point of view and relationship to that experience. This is what it means to surrender, to completely accept what is and release your grips on the idea that it could have been any different.

Whatever you focus on you invite more of into your experience. And although you don’t control all of what is happening outside of you, there is control over what is happening within you. As the emotions begin to surface whether pleasant or unpleasant, you can choose what you’d like to focus on. The sensations in your body, the thoughts in your mind, your overall experience, or what is happening outside of you. See, there are multiple facets of experience, each having a unique lesson to teach if you’re willing to pay attention to it. The attention is your investment of energy, that which you focus on is where your energy flows, ultimately amplifying your experience of that thing. Usually, the mind will focus on the most intense feelings occurring in the present moment, it’s up to you to tune in and shift gears.

Letting Go For What?

Surrendering your resistance to allow implies that you are giving up, and in a way you are. By choosing to resist the life in front of you, because you’re stuck on the thought that it could have been different, you are wasting time and energy. You’re giving up that way of thinking for a different way of seeing things. It’s not that you’re quitting on yourself or your plans, but you’re deciding to acknowledge that life has knocked you off course. Instead of pushing forward with your original plan, you’re opening yourself to the changes that have found you and the possibilities that follow. In order for true change to occur, you must step into the shoes of the now and not at the moment when life veered off the course that you designed for it.

To surrender means to release, let go, relinquish your hold of someone or something. Surrendering takes a certain set of attitudes to practice such as curiosity, openness, non-judgment, and detachment. By practicing curiosity and non-judgment you are bringing a mindful focus to your circumstance while dropping your opinion of what should be. Paying attention to what is happening without expectation of what will follow, or doubts about this moment. While openness and detachment help you release the belief that what is happening is personal. Choosing to see beyond the world created inside your mind and expanding to life within the universe, filled with intricate connections and divine timing that’s a part of a much larger picture.

It’s important to recognize unpleasant experiences are not happening to you, they are just happening. Because if you see yourself as helpless against life than you do not see your responsibility to how you respond to it. Instead, start seeing it as if life is happening for you to practice leveling up. Open your mind to the possibility that you are here to evolve into your greatest self and that adversity is here to help you do that. Although life cannot be undone, and there are plenty of experiences outside of your realm of control, you are the one that decides the mindset that moves you forward. So each time you find yourself experiencing unpleasantness or negative emotions, you are faced with the choice of resistance or allowance. You can choose to resist the reality of what is happening right now, ultimately perpetuating a limit that doesn’t need to exist in your life. Or you can choose to allow the reality of what is happening right now, and the difference is acceptance. You have to let go of the belief that whatever happens to you is personal, only then can you choose to allow yourself to practice acceptance.

But what are you surrendering to?

A higher intelligence. You don’t need to be religious or spiritual, you don’t have to have specific beliefs about the universe, energy, or life. All that you need to understand is you don’t have all the answers, so surrender to that fact. Release the idea that you have to have everything figured out and that life must flow according to your mind map. Lean into the belief that it is happening for you to grow, because even when it’s the worst feeling in the world this belief will move you in the right direction. There’s a difference between what is happening and your relationship to what is happening, which is where your energy gets stuck every time. Focusing primarily on the emotional pain you’re experiencing rather than prioritizing how you’re going to bounce back. If something pains you heal it, always, that’s a pivotal part of the process but it’s not the end of the road. Never allow pain to keep you resistant of what else is out there for you.

Expand your awareness beyond the thoughts and emotions that hold you in an unpleasant place. Open up to the idea that this could be used as a way of bringing you closer to a pleasant place. Create space in your mind for the possibility that there is a higher intelligence that can be tapped into and that you have a say in the direction of your life. Allow yourself to explore the opportunity of surrendering when you feel like you’re doing too much, because you most likely are, and surrender it to something that can handle the magnitude. Become mindful of your relationship with whatever or whoever you are surrendering too, and nourish it. Let go of the idea of what society says this higher intelligence is and seek that for yourself. Start believing that you are here for a reason and get curious about it. Contemplate the person you are, who you’d like to become, and what all of this means to you. Give yourself the opportunity to have an incredible life, allow it into your experience by letting go of resistance so you can receive it.

Open up and Allow Life in

Where there is another cycle of breath entering your lungs, there is another chance to choose a more expansive and evolutionary path. Choosing again starts by becoming aware of how resistance is impacting your overall wellbeing and focus. Throughout any given day you’ll be faced with the choice to resist the reality of your circumstance or to accept it’s truth. Accepting where you are in this moment, especially if it’s not where you desire to be, is not a commitment to stay stagnant. It’s simply a practice of awareness without clutching to the thought that the present moment can be any different that it is.

Open yourself up and allow life to flow in and find you where you are. Start trusting your ability to change directions when life throws you an obstacle. Instead of seeing it as something that’s meant to stop you, or that these things are happening to you, open your heart and allow yourself to see the magical opportunity to evolve higher. By choosing acceptance over resistance, you are choosing to create a magnificent life for your future self. Each time the world outside of you causes suffering, look within for the strength to allow this experience in and transcend your darkness into light. The changes you are asking for may show up disguised as pain, transformation, loss, or vulnerable exposure. Acknowledge and honor your feelings, while simultaneously using them as a compass to seek ways to adapt and overcome. There is nothing you cannot be, do, or have in this life once you get out of your own way. Take a deep breath and choose again.

Love. Heal. Grow.

Healing, Practices

Transcending Darkness Into Light

Posted on March 15, 2020September 11, 2022 by Sabrina Renee

In what ways are you loving yourself?

A great way to find the answer to that question is to listen to the voice inside your head that responds to the question. Take a moment to be the awareness behind the answer that pops up for you.

Was the voice defensive?

How did it feel to answer that question?

Were you able to answer quickly or was it something to think about?

Are you happy or displeased with the answers?

Truthfully the answers that surface for you are neither right nor wrong. This exercise is simply expanding your awareness of how your thinking already works. As humans, we layer up our experiences with judgments that later turn into beliefs that ultimately decide the course of our growth. Either people are growing toward loving themself deeper or they are moving further away. Only by asking questions about your relationship with yourself can you begin to expand your awareness of self. Learn who you are, who you were, and start to create the visual of who it is you wish to become.

The dark is costing you the light

By remaining in the same spot, with the same knowledge, surrounded by the same energy all of which are holding you back from thriving, you are living in the dark. The dark is a great place to hide. Plenty of people turn the lights off to particular parts of their life because it hurts too much to face, or rocks the very foundation of who they’ve chosen to be. But just because something is placed in the dark doesn’t remove it from existence. It simply means it’s taking up more dark energy than light. You are feeding the energy of lack, resistance, negativity, and denial of your truth.

The light, however, is a place of creation and higher frequency. The light in your life shines to help illuminate the way ahead. In order to live in a world of light, all things must surface and be acknowledged. All things that have been pushed away in the deepest corners of your past have the capacity to transcend into the light. Once you allow the dark to surface, it can be seen for what it truly is and loved entirely, not in spite of anything.

Choosing light over darkness is the way to unconditional love. Therefore when you express love to the dark parts of who you are, love will embody that experience. The more you choose to love, the more you choose to feed the energy of abundance, allowance, growth, and acceptance of your true self.

When you choose love you choose to steer yourself toward a healthy relationship with yourself, first and foremost, and then with others. When you choose to see the light where there is darkness you slowly begin to build a peaceful resilience within yourself. Being able to forgive your past pain while simultaneously allowing it to create a more evolved version of self. Both light and love are principle foundations for a successful, compassionate, and strong relationship with who you are, as well as who you’re becoming. Which will, in turn, open the doors of opportunity to thrive in relationships with family, friends, and loved ones. Being at peace with yourself means not letting things outside of you define you because you are confident in the person you are. The power over your emotions and mindset will always reside within you.

So what is it costing you?

Now that you understand the power of bringing the darkness to light, it’s time to do just that. Take stock of the areas of life you haven’t been ready to face, handle, or deal with properly. There is a proper season for living in darkness, life gets hard and sometimes unexpectedly crippling, but it’s not meant to be a forever destination. At some point, you have to shine the light on your needs, your desires, and the inner healing it will take to get there.

Focus on the voice inside that answers your questions. Start asking yourself more proactive questions about how you’re treating yourself.

Are you neglecting your needs and desires for the benefit of others?

When you neglect your needs, what are you losing and gaining?

When pouring from an empty cup, how is it impacting the person you are becoming?

What values are you aligning with?

What are you losing as a result?

Shifting from a dark season of life into one of light and love will not be easy. It will challenge the parts of you that haven’t built up immunity yet. You’ll feel tired, weak, and possibly want to quit on yourself. Keep going. It’s in these moments of exhaustion that you’re building the next version of yourself. The result of loving yourself by transcending darkness into light is a glorious and peaceful place to live. The road to it, however, may not feel as such. Keep the end result in mind and honor the struggle that this journey brings. Each hard decision you make, each time you cut out negative behavior, each time you set a boundary to keep yourself safe, you teach yourself a lesson. If you’re being aware of these lessons you won’t make the same mistake twice.

There is so much to learn and so much to love about yourself. Turn the lights on to your true self.

**Check out this podcast episode titled Love vs Fear: Seeing is Believing**

Healing

How Caregivers Cope

Posted on March 8, 2020 by Sabrina Renee

In this season of my life, I am one of the primary caregivers for my mother who was recently paralyzed. The complications that followed have piled high, requiring a great deal of care, energy, and time invested every day. With personal challenges for the caregiver and health challenges for the person in need of care, it’s essential to create boundaries to make sure well-being is a priority.

As a mindfulness teacher and a student of self-improvement, I understand the significance that my mindset brings. Starting each day without thinking about what I need to be at my best is a recipe for personal neglect. The more I make a habit out of pushing my needs to the back burner, the harder t will become to provide excellent care for those who need me most. Although I’ve lived by these principles for years, and even began teaching others, my mother’s physical trauma pushed me out of alignment with my core beliefs. So I went back to the drawing board to get to know myself and all the ways I could improve.

For the last few months, I’ve noticed a pattern of unhealthy habits and choices. Most days I find my energy to be sluggish even with a full night’s sleep. The mornings are the most challenging for me when they used to be when I was at my most creative. My appetite has dwindled while my headaches have increased. This dip in energy causes other areas of my life to suffer such as memory, organ health, and overall mood changes. Before this major lifestyle change, I would get the occasional headache and sinus infection, but now I felt more ill than well often. I knew that this was a trying time for my family and me, but I also knew I wasn’t living as my best self. In order to provide the best level of care possible for my mom, I needed to make my health a priority.

I began to take stock of what was helping and hindering my overall health. Looking into the foods I was eating, my level of hydration, the information I was consuming, the environmental factors playing a part in my mood, the media I was focused on, the community I was in contact with and what it was doing to my performance. It was shocking to see just how much I was aiding to my own discomfort and dis-ease without even being aware of it. Once I knew there were choices being made each day making me sick, I knew how to go about making changes.

Coping Mechanisms

Each morning had a ritual of coffee on an empty stomach, sometimes with almond milk and sugar, sometimes just black. Afterward, I didn’t eat for a couple of hours and didn’t hydrate for even longer than that. While each cup of coffee was dehydrating my body I was running on empty wishing for the energy to push through, so I’d had another cup. This cycle continued for a few months.

At the end of the day when I was no longer needed by other people, I would overindulge in relaxation. I’d roll a joint or pack my bong and smoke the evening away. Now I’d like to make it clear that marijuana has been an incredible factor in helping me cope with anxiety, gain my appetite back, and when used with intent, given me a boost of creativity for my writing. But for months I wasn’t using it with the intention to come back to myself, to release the day or to gain focus on what was important. I was medicating so that I didn’t have to feel, deal, or handle life at the end of the day, only to wake up each morning to the reality that it was all waiting for me again.

Every few months I would finally muster up the energy to go out with friends. I’d look forward to grabbing drinks and not talking about what my daily life was like. Caregiving isn’t necessarily an easy thing to bond over because, thankfully, not many people live in that world. So when I made plans with friends it wasn’t to vent about the tough times or celebrate the triumphs my family made together. In my mind, getting together with friends became about stepping into an alternate reality where life wasn’t as hard and I could drink my troubles away.

As I took a non-judgmental view of my coping mechanisms I realized I was hurting myself; putting my body through the pain of not enough nutrients and hydration, putting my mind through the ups and downs of stimulants, putting my spirit through the pain of never being still. If I were going to be a better daughter for my mother, I had to become a better self for me. Because in a world where the circumstances are out of my control, the response to it all is in my hands. Rather than facing the terror, pain, fear, and unknown head on I was choosing not to face it at all. Instead, I chose to numb myself to the reality I was living in through cups of coffee, staying high, and drinking the pain away. I saw the toll it was taking on my daily routine, how long it took me to recover from everything and decided to make a change.

After lots of prayers, self-compassion, and forgiveness of my own actions I decided to cleanse for 40 days. Taking coffee away and staying sober to gain clarity on how to maneuver this season of life. Giving things up to challenge myself is a common theme. It pushes my personal limits, cracks the shell of limiting beliefs I hold, and starts to pave the way for even more possibilities. This, however, is probably going to be the most all of nothing personal challenge I’ve given myself because I’m removing the outlets I use to cope with pain. The pain will still be there, waiting for me, like an annoying family member who wants to retell that awful story for the 35th time. It’s going to test my patience, causing me to question what I can and can’t handle on my own. But being my mother’s caregiver has taught me a few lessons:

1.) Resilience is a choice and you can choose it every day.

2.) Learn to laugh at the difficult stuff and it’ll begin to sting a little less.

3.) Your emotions are trying to tell you something, sit with them and listen.

4.) Stop letting your thinking mind rule your life, not everything is a catastrophe.

5.) Even if it’s the worst news you’ve ever received, you can move with grace and love.

The point of this post is not to judge yourself on how you cope with pain and suffering. It’s not about how healthy you are or all of the things you’re not doing for your mind and body. It’s absolutely not about the right and wrong ways of dealing with responsibility, because girl let me tell you I’m still trying to navigate these waters myself.

What I would love for you to take away is that there is most likely something in your life that isn’t getting the attention it deserves. Maybe it’s the lack of healthy food your eating or movement you giving your body. Maybe it’s the way you deal with the hardest challenge in your life or the troubling emotions that feel too impossible to handle. I’m telling you to pay attention. Look at how you treat the unpleasantness in your life, and how it returns the favor in your lifestyle. Notice the lack of attention you give yourself, while you glorify the attention you give others. Raise your level of self-awareness so that you can truly begin to deal with and heal from whatever is going on in your life.

You owe it to yourself to face your life head on, and you can start today. Start by forgiving anything you’ve done that may have hurt you. Start by flooding yourself with love and understanding for doing the best you could. Just start paying attention to all of the things you’re neglecting. Because nobody needs you more than you need you.