Posted in Growth

Being Purpose Driven in 2020

What is Your Purpose?

Such a loaded question for some and so simple for others. For all of us, finding your purpose equals finding meaning in your life and the moments you invest in. When you’ve identified your purpose life choices get narrow, the trajectory of your life becomes a bit more clear. Life’s purpose is not what you do but rather who you innately are.

My purpose is to be a healer, to heal myself so that I may teach others the tools to heal themselves. Although it took years and years to redefine it in such simple terms, it remained true through all occupations. As someone working the stock room in retail, as a server at Applebee’s, as a child care attendant and as a personal trainer, this was who I have always been at the core. So whether you know exactly what your purpose is or you have absolutely no clue, or even if you’re somewhere in between the two here is my advice to you: don’t allow your current life circumstance to define your purpose for you.

Creating a Purpose Driven Life

Creating a purpose-driven life means understanding the values that align with it. Once those values are identified they become the focal points of your thinking and decision making. Deciding to live a life on purpose sounds simple enough but it comes with the price of self-discipline. These values may reveal themselves or match easily with the life you visualize, but the hard work comes when those values clash with any current belief system. The biggest challenge for me was identifying that one of my values was respecting my self-worth which often meant putting my needs before others. Until an opportunity to help a friend, family member, or even someone I was dating went against that value. The belief system I had for so long made me feel that putting myself first was a form of betrayal of those I love. Therein lies the choice: change or familiarity?

Now, of course, each circumstance and person is different. There are no right answers across the board for any core values defined. But it will more often than not invite an inner conflict into your life. One that forces you to choose between who you’ve always been and who you wish to be. It’s about strengthening your intuition and trusting what feels like the best way to go. When this happens don’t judge yourself by labeling one answer right or wrong. Just remember only ONE choice can bring you closer to living a life on purpose. Choose wisely.

Not a Destination, A Way of Living

The more you challenge your belief system the more self-aware you become. Self-awareness is a tool that allows you to confront thoughts before they become actions. If practicing self-awareness becomes a habit than so does the opportunity to create change. Because change doesn’t happen once you declare you’re ready for it. Change doesn’t occur because you’ve clearly defined your core values or proclaimed a particular way of living. Life begins to change when you interrupt the pattern of behavior or thinking to shift the trajectory of your path. When you decide to trust your gut over the nostalgic and all too familiar choice that is insisting to be chosen. Change shows up in life when you constantly and consistently show up with the tool of self-awareness.

Here are 5 ways to show up on purpose:

  1. Set intentions before taking actions

  2. Check-in with your thoughts and experiences throughout the day

  3. Question the beliefs that challenge your defined values

  4. Say no to what does not align with your purpose

  5. Be kind to yourself as you grow through each experience

Remaining True to Yourself

Staying the course will be filled with hard choices and lessons learned, so move forward with compassion. Taking responsibility for where you are in life is just as important as forgiving yourself for mistakes made. There will be parts of yourself that will be surfacing for the first time, invite them with kindness. Use that as a chance to study them with nonjudgmental awareness and make a purpose-driven decision. Appreciate the journey each day rather than focusing on the destination because the more you grow the further it becomes.

Being on purpose is a daily choice that invites more love, joy, fulfillment, and gratitude. Pay attention to what each day has to offer. Practice living a purpose-driven life through the 5 tips and grow through what you go through with awareness.

Posted in Healing, MindBody

Practices of a Healthy Mind

What is Meditation?

 

“A quality of high attentiveness and concentration. An attitude of open mindedness and curiosity.” 

Meditation is the disciplined practice of concentration and focus, whether it be on the breath, a movement, a repeated phrase or an object. It can be done while sitting in a chair or on a mat, standing, lying down, practicing yoga or taking a walk. Essentially, it is the act of paying attention and increasing your focus muscle, inviting a sense of calm and clarity to the mind. This is often misinterpreted as clearing the mind of all thought, but that’s definitely not the point of meditation. It’s about practicing the art of slowing down both mentally and physically.

There is no end goal to meditation. It is a practice meant to be applied throughout your life. The more you practice the better you become at practicing stillness. It’s important not to become discouraged by any difficulty in the beginning. One of the biggest challenges when starting a meditation practice is that there is no instant gratification. The world we live in thrives on immediate answers to questions and solutions to problems. Moreover, our emotions are lacking regulation because we simply don’t take the time to experience them as they occur. It isn’t easy to face the reasons why we feel pulled in 6 different directions at one time, however it is important to get in touch with those reasons.

Slowing down and paying attention is exactly what we need to balance us out in such a fast paced society. It allows us the chance to be present and appreciate what we have in the midst of striving for more. The mind won’t function at a higher rate with the same mentality that burns it out. The definition of insanity is repeating the same actions and expecting new results.

So what is Mindfulness?

 

Mindfulness is a practice of awareness. Practicing awareness is bringing your focus to either your thoughts, physical sensations or breathing, whatever is occurring at this moment. When you are being mindful you are utilizing the traits of patience, acceptance, forgiveness, nonjudgment and having a beginner’s mind toward yourself and others. Whether in the form of anxiety or a difficult emotion, we need to start paying attention to our emotions and learn to regulate them in the moment.

 

Although mindfulness and meditation are both practices they are not one in the same. Mindfulness incorporates the principles listed above and can be practiced at any moment. It is the simple act of paying attention to the minor details that are normally glanced over. Brushing your teeth, showering and walking out of your house, just to name a few. For instance, have you ever driven from one place to another and didn’t remember the actual driving process? After learning how to drive it becomes habitual. The mind kicks in when it’s necessary, like an emergency brake or when traffic breaks so we speed up. But for the majority of the time we allow our autopilot to take over. 

 

 

If we can allow our awareness to shut off when we are operating a vehicle daily,

how many other vital moments are we missing?

 

 

 

Mindful Awareness Meditation 

This is a simple discipline that will both challenge and change you, combining both mindful awareness and meditation into one very powerful practice. First you need something to focus on and in this case it will be your breath. The only way to know when you are distracted is if your attention is on one thing to begin with. The breath is portable, easily accessible and always in the present moment-making it the ideal single point of focus.

Next you’ll need to find a comfortable posture. If you’re choosing a chair I would recommend one without arms to practice proper posture, feet flat on the floor. Placing your palms on your knees, facing the ceiling or resting on your lap (pretend you’re holding a giant imaginary wheel.) Remember you can also lay down and practice on a mat. I wouldn’t suggest doing so on your bed; your body understands that comfort zone as place to sleep, not pay attention. 

Finally set a duration of time, preferably 10 minutes to start, and focus on your breath. Your thoughts will absolutely interrupt you and pull you away from your purpose. Some may be unpleasant or fantastical, continue to remind yourself gently why you are sitting here. Keep coming back to the breath. Losing your train of thought is just another form of practicing patience with yourself. Don’t attach expectations of disciplined stillness onto this practice when this is something you’ve never done. And don’t give up at the first sign of frustration! 

 

Struggling to sit in stillness for 10 minutes is why you should continue to practice sitting still.

Practicing Discipline and Responding to Distraction

When you first begin to meditate your thoughts will be running wild. Your mind thinks this way 24/7. The only difference is now you are paying attention to those rapid thoughts. That’s a HUGE step in the direction of progress. Remember meditation is a disciplined practice. Be kind, patient and forgiving toward yourself when losing track of the breath. Keep coming back to the breath over and over and over again.

The time of day you choose to meditate varies for each person. Most of the books I’ve read recommend doing it first thing in the morning to set the tone of the day. I’ve found it helps pairing meditation time with a responsibility or chore. My morning practice takes place after I brush my teeth. I sit on a chair or mat for at least ten minutes, focusing on my breath and visualizing the day ahead. On the days that I am extremely distracted struggling to stay still, I gain the most from my practice. With that experience in mind I know it’s important to continue checking in on my moods and thoughts throughout the day.

Keep coming back! This advice can not be said enough. Come back to your breath, the chair, the reason why you sat still to begin with. Only then will responding to the mental distractions become easier. It’s not about clearing your mind but rather working toward peace of mind. Committing to meditation, even just ten minutes a day will build your awareness of self and increase your ability to regulate emotions. 

TRY THIS AT HOME!

If there were a way to slow the chatter of your mind, learn to control your moods, and ultimately become a better person you’d jump on the chance. Meditation is that practice. It is not a quick fix because it’s the journey that is meant to change you. Only in experiencing moments of discomfort are you pushed to fulfill your potential. Practicing stillness makes you grow through what you go through. 

Whatever success looks like in your life meditation will only help you get there. Commit to your future self’s mental health and practice meditation for one week, 10 minutes a day. Pay attention to the challenges, not with a judgmental mind but with an open awareness- get to know the real you. 

Meditation is not just for religious people, spiritual people, or those who believe in something higher. It’s for those who wish to function optimally in an ever-changing world.

Posted in MindBody

How to Manage Your Energy and Own The Day

There will be days that you wake up ready to take on everything with a positive attitude and assertive attitude. There will be days that you wake up focused on the tasks and responsibilities you’re reluctant to show up for.

If the energy of your day is left to chance or fleeting moods, you’ll surrender your power to the environment, people, and happenings that surround you. You’ll be led by their intentions, their agendas, and you’ll be swallowed up in their world. Meanwhile, you’re feeling lethargic and misaligned, chalking it up to just another bad day. But the truth is your approach to the day is what labels it positive, negative, or indifferent.

 

 

Thought Management

Thoughts will lead the way if they are given the power. Considering the fact that most people are unaware of their thought patterns or even how to notice their thought patterns, it’s likely the thoughts are unconsciously calling the shots. Mindful awareness is a practice of bringing nonjudgmental attention to who and how you are being in this moment. Practicing mindful awareness is the bridge between the discontent you’re experiencing inside your mind and making a conscious change in your mindset.

 

Becoming aware of the thoughts you are constantly focusing on is a simple task. Start by noticing the first 5 thoughts you have in the morning. Sounds easy right? Actually, it is! The challenging part is bringing attention to them without judging them by placing labels like a negative, positive, or indifferent. Instead, practice choosing an approach of curiosity. Rather than allowing the feelings related to these thoughts to morph into the mood you choose for the day, practice choosing a thought that is aligned with your higher self.

 

Without getting too deep into spiritual teachings, your higher self is the very best version of who you already are. Each of us has innate goodness within, which is all deserving of an abundance of well-being and joy. The more life you experienced the harder those feelings of goodness came naturally, and the more they become undone and interrupted by the stimuli being consumed daily.

 

As you got older it seemed easier to adapt the defeated attitudes that excuse you from doing the difficult stuff, and that began taking a toll on your overall well-being. The higher self version of you is simply waiting for you to take off the layers blocking your success, but only you can take action and begin removing what no longer serves you.

 

The higher self is the version of you that’s in alignment with what is best for the mind, body, and spirit’s health. Every person’s higher self is essentially a more evolved and wise version. Although you are the same person, there is a path of growth and change separating you. That path begins with the awareness you choose to bring to the parts of you that are burdening your progress. The opportunities to make progress lie in your thinking, choices, in the daily habits and behaviors you choose every day.

 

Thought management becomes easier to understand and digest once you’ve accepted that you can absolutely control what you focus your attention on. If this concept is difficult to accept I encourage you to make a conscious effort to focus your attention on how you want to think and feel.

 

Managing your thoughts does not mean falsely believing the opposite of your current thought, and it’s certainly not about ignoring the emotions that surface as a result. Thought management is becoming aware of the thinking pattern that already exists within your mind, releasing judgment of it, and learning how to choose a different route of thought.

 

Remember the speed and intensity of your thoughts are not new, you’re just finally deciding to tune in, which is the first step toward taking back your control. After you’ve practiced noticing the patterns and the judgmental labels attached to them, it’s time to shift your attention to how you want to feel. Maybe you don’t know yet, and that’s the beauty of self-awareness, there is always more ground to cover.

 

 

Energy Management

Throughout the day the energy you experience is influenced by a multitude of factors. Nevertheless, the energy you experience is entirely your responsibility. Specifically, if you are wearing different hats throughout the day (partner, parent, boss, employee, student, friend) you have to hold yourself to a higher standard of energy.

 

The type of energy you bring into a work meeting is extremely different from the type of energy you bring home to your family. In order to manage the energy, you’re experiencing, as well as prepare your energy levels for an approaching task, you need to know how you want to feel.

 

There are a few ways to get to know more about your energy. You can start by getting in touch with the energy you are already experiencing, and get curious about how you feel and what it took to get to this point. When transitioning from one task to another, it’s essential that you check in with the energy you are bringing.

 

Be intentional about the energy you are expressing with yourself, with others, and emitting out into the world. Start by asking “How do I want to feel?” and “How do I want to invite others to feel?” If you’re experiencing happiness or joy ask yourself what thoughts and/or experiences brought you to this level? After you experienced something did you continue to fuel those thoughts and ignite the flames generating more intensity around the emotion?

 

Another way you can understand your energy better is by reverse engineering. Start by focusing on the energy, feeling, and/or emotion you want to feel. For some people, it’s easy to jump right into that state just with the thought of it, while others struggle with matching that feeling. If it’s difficult to shift break down what it would take to get you into that state, starting with effective questions such as:

 

  • How can I get closer to an elevated mood?

  • What thoughts will bring me to increase my energy?

  • When I struggle to stay in this state, what should I bring my focus to?

  • What word, phrase, or thought could I use as an anchor in this feeling?

  • It’s also important to dive deep into your answer because saying you want to feel good isn’t specific enough.

 

Let’s Review

Life circumstances can rarely be controlled, if ever. Your personal power lies in how you show up and the response you choose. Working to improve both your mindset and vitality is the greatest investment of your time. The reward will be a healthier mind, an energized body, and a fulfilled soul that impacts the lives of those they encounter.

 

Thoughts create things and energy never dies, it only transforms. Both thoughts and energy will lead the way if you surrender internal power. But if you consciously choose to make time and energy management a priority, the reward will show up in your life ten times over. Stop leaving your days to change and start preparing for the days of lower vibrations and negative emotions. Don’t wait until the building is on fire to think of an exit strategy, stay two steps ahead of the stimuli around you, and always consider what serves your higher self.

 

Love. Heal. Grow.

Posted in Growth

Achieve Your Goals: Prioritization and Time Management

Setting Goals Pt. 2

Let’s get familiar with the expected distractions and prepare for the unexpected halts in progress. The road to achieving anything is winding, covered in hidden pitfalls, and obstacles waiting for the chance to derail you. The wise choice would be to prepare both mentally and physically for what lies ahead. Listed below are the most common problems, issues, and self-defeating habits people come across after goal setting. 

 

Lacking prioritization

  • Time

  • Energy

  • Travel

 

Lack of results

  • Not quick enough

  • Seems like the opposite result

  • Focusing on the external only

 

Lack of motivation

  • Laziness and procrastination

  • Not being surrounded by those who want the same as you

  • Missing accountability and visualization

 

Derailed by short term pleasures

  • Choosing fun over discipline

  • Choosing sleep over work

  • Choosing doubt over courage

 

Anxiety and overwhelm

  • Thinking about getting too much done at once

  • Not thinking about it because it makes you anxious

  • Believing you won’t get it done by a projected date 

 

These distractions, setbacks or weak points do not define you. Instead, they highlight the areas that lack awareness and give you the opportunity to rise to the occasion. Just by reading them and starting the internal conversation you are closer to achieving whatever your heart desires. Don’t stay stuck in being aware of them, it’s time to own your part and stop giving away your control. Choose 1 struggle within each 5 category and brainstorm ways you can gear your behaviors toward productivity.

When you’re done reading this blog I STRONGLY urge you to come back to this list. Read and pause at each category. Ask yourself which of these are impeding the most on your progress. OWN IT. Be honest with yourself and your shortcomings, once you are aware you can make the shift toward progress

How to Stay Focused

Write it down daily, focus on the feeling

In big bold letters write down your goal, followed by THANK YOU. Make a conscious effort daily to look at it and believe in yourself. Practice gratitude as if it’s already on it’s way to you. Focus on the appreciation and satisfaction you’ll feel once you’ve accomplished all you’ve set out to. We spend so much time thinking about the future yet it’s rarely positive. Change that and allow your perspective to drive you. 

 

Affirm it every morning and evening out loud

There is an incredible amount of stimulus throughout each day, some necessary and some insignificant. It’s important to remind yourself of the direction you are meant to be headed. As reviewed before there are plenty of distractions ready to pull your attention away to something easier, something simpler, or something with instant gratification. Affirming your goals each morning and night will embed success in your mind, eventually bringing you back to what is important. 

 

Visual reminders

Never underestimate the power of a sticky note on the refrigerator, bathroom mirror, or dashboard of your car. Take a moment to think about what rooms you spend the most time in. Write out your goal, a phrase to keep you on track, or a positive affirmation to keep you focused. There may come a day you experience self-doubt- until you come across this note. Use it as a reminder of just how capable, confident and strong you are.

 

Weekly check-ins on your progress

Pick a day and time to have a weekly meeting with yourself-never miss this meeting! Ask yourself about this week’s thoughts and behaviors: Did you do your best? Did your trigger points get the best of you? Practice accepting your choices, forgive your shortcomings and recommit to your goals. Finally, ask yourself how can you improve this week? Create an intention from the answer, move forward confidently in the week and repeat again next week.

 

 

Accountability partner/group

Choose wisely who you share your goals, dreams, and visions with. Let it be someone who loves and supports you, who believes in your abilities and provides you encouragement. Ask this person to hold you accountable in a way you are both comfortable with. It could be a simple weekly call reminding you to stay focused and positive. Never underestimate the power of external love, support, and belief. 

 

Learn how to read your mental and physical cues (rest don’t quit)

Check-in with yourself, particularly on the days you lack motivation. Get to know what switches off your positive momentum and shifts you toward doubt. Accept that these days will happen, and even if you’re prepared that negative momentum can knock you down. Learn to accept how you’re feeling, what you’re experiencing at this moment and ask yourself “what do I need right now?” Rest is an essential part of making progress, but quitting will never get you there. Learn the difference. 

Create an Accountable Routine

The steps above are very simple to implement, it’s the consistency that is hard. Your fears and insecurities grow louder the bigger the desire becomes. But don’t let them take the power over your vision. Be mindful of your momentum- when it begins to fade or shift toward a decline. Accept that it’s happening, forgive yourself for the slipup. Remember this moment is only part of your journey, not your destination. 

 

Pick at least 3 out of the 6 practices above and create an accountability routine for yourself. Make sure the 3 you choose are realistic for you and that it’s possible to remain consistent. Practice this routine at the same time daily and twice a day when your feeling discouraged. Remember: it’s all about momentum.

 

Make the effort to assure yourself that you can ALWAYS get right back on track, you are never too far off. See your goal clearly and say it aloud daily. Remind yourself as much as you need to that everything will work out in the best possible way. Shifting self-defeating thoughts to motivating ones can be challenging but with practice comes patience and mental strength. These are the superpowers that will continue to push you forward.

 

 

Keep going, keep growing and stay mindful.