Learn to Lead with Love

Posted on October 20, 2019 by Sabrina Renee

“Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything, maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.”

–Paulo Coelho

When you watch an innocent child enter this world you can see them for what they truly are, love. As you look forward to their future it’s filled with hope, endless possibilities, and limitless potential to be chased. Yet somehow, the more you lived your life, that perception of yourself was lost amongst experiences. Hope was traded in for fear, endless possibilities for the known territory of safety, limitless potential for the limited skill set you’ve already acquired.

So what is the difference between your life and the life of a brand new human arriving into the world? They haven’t been shaped by the opinions, restrictions, and defeatist attitudes of the environment around them. But there is something that you have that they must wait years to attain and that’s the wisdom to know you always have a choice.

Humans have the greatest compass of all- emotions, yet we are rarely taught how to utilize them for our benefit. If you are happy, excited, satisfied you are enjoying the moment. If you are sad, afraid, frustrated you are not enjoying the moment. The problem lies with where you place your focus during this time. Most people don’t allow themselves to appreciate and live in the positive feeling emotions because they begin to shift their attention to the fact that it is fleeting. Rather than basking in all the goodness flowing, the focus is on knowing it will be over soon. For the most part, people treat negative emotions differently with way more attention to detail, visualizing future outcomes and fueling the emotion’s fire. Rather than acknowledging that this emotion is also fleeting, the attention instead is focused on how much worse it can get.

Leading with Love or Fear

There are only two choices we make: those rooted in love or in fear. Choices made in fear are a combination of not knowing what will happen next and allowing the outside world’s opinions to penetrate your beliefs. The fearful ones will keep you sheltered from the unknown as a means of protection. The mind and the body have evolved to keep you safe and out of harms way, therefore it is constantly on the lookout for what makes you feel uneasy. Whether it’s a life-threatening reason to be afraid or one that will be incredibly embarrassing, it’s registered as something to stay away from. The mind speaks to the body by sending physical sensations to the body as signals that something wrong is about to happen, such as sweaty palms, tightening of the chest or heart palpitations. The goal of the mind and body system is to keep you away from what you fear, even if life is completely safe.

The choices rooted in love come from the heart and the soul, speaking to the desires that are innate within your being. When you make a decision to lead with love you bring yourself closer to who you’re becoming, which is really who you’ve always been. This doesn’t necessarily mean that each choice made in love will be easy to walk toward but they will feel right. Choices in love are led by your inner voice or intuition, this is different from the self-talk that happens in the mind. Intuition is a feeling of alignment or misalignment about behaviors or choices being made, whereas self-talk can be a mixture of doubt, fear, insecurity, and curiosity. To understand whether you are leading with love or with fear, bring awareness to your body as you consider your choices. If you’re feeling tension, dis-ease, and contracting your muscles-that is rooted in fear. If you’re feeling open, relaxed, and embracing the thought-that is your intuition. Always move forward with love and you’ll be led to what’s meant for you.

How to Use Your Emotional Compass

As always the first step to creating change, particularly an emotional or behavioral one, is by becoming aware of that which needs changing. Considering this is a habit you’ve picked up throughout your life it’ll be difficult to even remember to try and shift your thinking on it. So you need a trigger.

A trigger is something that alerts you when an emotion or behavior is prompted to occur. Personally I’ve struggled with emotional eating, whenever I began to feel a strong emotion occur I feel the urge to eat something. It’s a momentary pleasure that tricks my mind into thinking I’ll feel better once I act on the impulse. The trigger is the emotion, the impulse is to eat. Once I began to raise my awareness of what was causing the urge I was able to stay ahead of the feeling. Now it’s time to find what it is that’s triggering you, the following practice can be used for negative or positive emotion.

Practice

In your mind’s eye begin to think of a time in the past where you were happy. Get as specific as possible with this memory by bringing your 5 senses into the mix. Bring to mind what you were wearing, if you were eating or drinking something, take note of the temperature and any sounds around you. Remember how long that feeling of happiness lasted and whether it ended abruptly.

Did a thought interrupt it? If so, what was the thought?

Was it a physical sensation in your body that shifted your focus?

Make the connection that once you’ve taken your mind off of what delivered you happiness you are now taken into your thinking mind.

You are no longer in the present moment and it’s always waiting there for you again.

Bring yourself back to the now with a deep inhale recalling the happiness you felt.

As you exhale release the focus of the thinking mind and any tension in your body.

Staying True To Who You Always Were

The babies that enter this world are at their purest form, created by, embodying, and deserving of unconditional love. They are beings of wonder, curiosity, and emerging awareness. As they enter a world they know nothing about, it is the job of the parents and loving community to nurture this child. Nurturing extends far beyond food, water, warmth, and safety- these are the essential baselines.

Another type of nourishment is allowing them to embrace the song that sings in their hearts, dance to the message within their soul, explore the world with an open curiosity in an attempt to understand without judgment. But most importantly, those who are growing up need to understand that this journey will shape them, the world around them will try to change them, people will work tirelessly to instill fear and doubt into their precious minds.

These babies that grow into the people reading this post need to know they always have a choice to remain true to who they are. The choice begins when you acknowledge that you are enough, complete, and whole as you are at this moment. I pray that you choose to believe that, today and always.

MindBody

How to Manage Your Energy and Own The Day

Posted on September 27, 2019September 19, 2022 by Sabrina Renee

There will be days that you wake up ready to take on everything with a positive attitude and assertive attitude. There will be days that you wake up focused on the tasks and responsibilities you’re reluctant to show up for.

If the energy of your day is left to chance or fleeting moods, you’ll surrender your power to the environment, people, and happenings that surround you. You’ll be led by their intentions, their agendas, and you’ll be swallowed up in their world. Meanwhile, you’re feeling lethargic and misaligned, chalking it up to just another bad day. But the truth is your approach to the day is what labels it positive, negative, or indifferent.

Thought Management

Thoughts will lead the way if they are given the power. Considering the fact that most people are unaware of their thought patterns or even how to notice their thought patterns, it’s likely the thoughts are unconsciously calling the shots. Mindful awareness is a practice of bringing nonjudgmental attention to who and how you are being in this moment. Practicing mindful awareness is the bridge between the discontent you’re experiencing inside your mind and making a conscious change in your mindset.

Becoming aware of the thoughts you are constantly focusing on is a simple task. Start by noticing the first 5 thoughts you have in the morning. Sounds easy right? Actually, it is! The challenging part is bringing attention to them without judging them by placing labels like a negative, positive, or indifferent. Instead, practice choosing an approach of curiosity. Rather than allowing the feelings related to these thoughts to morph into the mood you choose for the day, practice choosing a thought that is aligned with your higher self.

Without getting too deep into spiritual teachings, your higher self is the very best version of who you already are. Each of us has innate goodness within, which is all deserving of an abundance of well-being and joy. The more life you experienced the harder those feelings of goodness came naturally, and the more they become undone and interrupted by the stimuli being consumed daily.

As you got older it seemed easier to adapt the defeated attitudes that excuse you from doing the difficult stuff, and that began taking a toll on your overall well-being. The higher self version of you is simply waiting for you to take off the layers blocking your success, but only you can take action and begin removing what no longer serves you.

The higher self is the version of you that’s in alignment with what is best for the mind, body, and spirit’s health. Every person’s higher self is essentially a more evolved and wise version. Although you are the same person, there is a path of growth and change separating you. That path begins with the awareness you choose to bring to the parts of you that are burdening your progress. The opportunities to make progress lie in your thinking, choices, in the daily habits and behaviors you choose every day.

Thought management becomes easier to understand and digest once you’ve accepted that you can absolutely control what you focus your attention on. If this concept is difficult to accept I encourage you to make a conscious effort to focus your attention on how you want to think and feel.

Managing your thoughts does not mean falsely believing the opposite of your current thought, and it’s certainly not about ignoring the emotions that surface as a result. Thought management is becoming aware of the thinking pattern that already exists within your mind, releasing judgment of it, and learning how to choose a different route of thought.

Remember the speed and intensity of your thoughts are not new, you’re just finally deciding to tune in, which is the first step toward taking back your control. After you’ve practiced noticing the patterns and the judgmental labels attached to them, it’s time to shift your attention to how you want to feel. Maybe you don’t know yet, and that’s the beauty of self-awareness, there is always more ground to cover.

Energy Management

Throughout the day the energy you experience is influenced by a multitude of factors. Nevertheless, the energy you experience is entirely your responsibility. Specifically, if you are wearing different hats throughout the day (partner, parent, boss, employee, student, friend) you have to hold yourself to a higher standard of energy.

The type of energy you bring into a work meeting is extremely different from the type of energy you bring home to your family. In order to manage the energy, you’re experiencing, as well as prepare your energy levels for an approaching task, you need to know how you want to feel.

There are a few ways to get to know more about your energy. You can start by getting in touch with the energy you are already experiencing, and get curious about how you feel and what it took to get to this point. When transitioning from one task to another, it’s essential that you check in with the energy you are bringing.

Be intentional about the energy you are expressing with yourself, with others, and emitting out into the world. Start by asking “How do I want to feel?” and “How do I want to invite others to feel?” If you’re experiencing happiness or joy ask yourself what thoughts and/or experiences brought you to this level? After you experienced something did you continue to fuel those thoughts and ignite the flames generating more intensity around the emotion?

Another way you can understand your energy better is by reverse engineering. Start by focusing on the energy, feeling, and/or emotion you want to feel. For some people, it’s easy to jump right into that state just with the thought of it, while others struggle with matching that feeling. If it’s difficult to shift break down what it would take to get you into that state, starting with effective questions such as:

How can I get closer to an elevated mood?
What thoughts will bring me to increase my energy?
When I struggle to stay in this state, what should I bring my focus to?
What word, phrase, or thought could I use as an anchor in this feeling?
It’s also important to dive deep into your answer because saying you want to feel good isn’t specific enough.

Let’s Review

Life circumstances can rarely be controlled, if ever. Your personal power lies in how you show up and the response you choose. Working to improve both your mindset and vitality is the greatest investment of your time. The reward will be a healthier mind, an energized body, and a fulfilled soul that impacts the lives of those they encounter.

Thoughts create things and energy never dies, it only transforms. Both thoughts and energy will lead the way if you surrender internal power. But if you consciously choose to make time and energy management a priority, the reward will show up in your life ten times over. Stop leaving your days to change and start preparing for the days of lower vibrations and negative emotions. Don’t wait until the building is on fire to think of an exit strategy, stay two steps ahead of the stimuli around you, and always consider what serves your higher self.

Love. Heal. Grow.

Healing

Where It All Began For Me

Posted on September 9, 2019 by Sabrina Renee

Have you ever become a version of yourself that is cringe-worthy to acknowledge?

Have you ever struggled to face yourself in the mirror and the choices you’ve made?

Have you ever lost yourself in someone else’s world?

Where do you even begin to pick up the pieces?

For me it started with the breath.

Sit With Yourself

My journey begins with a life shattering heartbreak, and by life shattering I mean the world as I knew it no longer existed. I didn’t leave because I fell out of love, in fact that’s what made it so hard. The love I felt for my partner was deeper than the love I felt for myself, that’s why I left. My intuition grew so loud that I could no longer ignore the call to walk away, even though I had no idea what life would be like on the other side. Something told me it was time to take the first step away from pain and into something new, even if I couldn’t see the next 100 feet in front of me.

Leaving a toxic relationship left me sad, fragile, and unhealthy. My soul knew I was meant for more, my mind couldn’t escape the life I had just left, and my body was too tired to make a move. After months of anxiety, depression, and essentially living in fight or flight mode, I knew a change needed to be made. There would be no divine intervention, or magical sign from above. It wouldn’t happen if I moved to another country to begin a new life. No matter where I went or what I did, the suffering would follow me, so I knew the change needed to happen from within.

I’ll never forget the day I decided to make a conscious effort to heal my broken self. Lying in a bed with tear soaked tissues and sheets that stunk like me, I finally asked myself “what can you do in this moment to get closer to something better, and away from this feeling?” The answer was to sit. Whether this is the right answer or not I’ll never know, but that was the answer that surfaced for me. I only had energy to change positions, so I went from lying down to sitting up.

It didn’t seem like much but it got my mind working in a different direction, a voice inside my head responded to my action by asking “now what?” Suddenly it hit me. In that moment I realized asking yourself the right questions will lead you to get answers that move you forward. Questions are what either fuel the rumination of negative thoughts or what fuel the momentum in a positive direction. I finally began to see that I did have some control over what I was going through, but I still felt overwhelmed by change. So the next thing I did was close my eyes and let out a huge sigh. I decided to sit and just breathe.

I didn’t know much of what meditation was, or the benefits, or even if I understood at that moment that I was meditating. But I was aware that the only thing I had control over in that moment was my position and my breath, so I went with it. What felt like an hour was most likely just short of 10 minutes, and when I opened my eyes nothing around me changed. I still felt sad, bitter, anxious- although slightly less; but each time I brought my attention back to the exhale something was different. It was in those brief moments that I wasn’t defined by my emotions, my experience, or even my physical sensations. In those tiny glimpses of a second that I could focus on my breath I became the awareness behind my experiences.

Just a glance at a different way of thinking, a simple taste of a slightly better perception, was all I needed to believe my life was in my hands. I started to see the next 100 feet.

And So The Self-Discovering Journey Begins

After that day I vowed to always come back to my breath, no matter where my thoughts take me or what my body wishes we were doing instead of being still. I promised I would sit with my discomfort until it revealed what it was here to teach me. I began to understand that I was operating from 3 different points of view: my past, my present, and my future self. So I decided to explore all of me and get to know my true self. In order for me to heal I needed to know who was controlling my thinking mind in the moment, and how to align it with my current actions. Getting to know my three selves allowed me to accept my painful past, come back to the present moment, and accept the possibility that I could create an even brighter future.

The more I began to control my mindset and attitudes the more my goals of health expanded. It was challenging to look in a mirror, put on clothes, and carry conversations with others because I was so deeply uncomfortable in my own skin. I started asking myself how I wanted to feel, rather than focusing on how low I was feeling, and that began my journey of 3 fold health.

Focusing on health as a three-fold process meant mental, physical, and spiritual healing. In all of these ways I was weak, learning how to use muscles that have been dormant for so long took patience and consistency. I started meditating and writing about my journey daily, while working out 3 times a week. Just getting to the gym on some days was the accomplishment, but as time went on I increased the duration of workouts and amount of times I exercised weekly.

Fitness became an outlet for me to express my strength, growth, and ability to push my own limits. I loved who I was becoming, not because I was putting more weight on or because I was finally using double digit weights, but because I remembered where I started. I knew I wanted to help others find this personal power within themselves, so I began studying to become a personal trainer.

The more I got to know my true self the more I understood I’m not alone in this struggle of self. And just like with the journey of getting stronger physically, I wanted to help others dig deep into their personal power of knowing and loving themselves unconditionally. The deeper I got to know myself the more passionate I became about sharing my knowledge, insights, and experiences with other women who were just as lost as I once was. This sparked the idea to pursue a career of teaching women the power of 3 fold fitness, so I began studying to become a mindfulness teacher.

That Person Led Me Here…

My solution was to forgive myself, accept myself, and become the greatest version of myself- because I owed that to me. I promised the fragile girl crying on the bed I’d grow into the person she needed most that day, a healer. In that moment I would have never believed it to be possible to be who I am today, sharing these messages, loving what I do all while creating positive ripple effects in the world. It’s not about knowing the outcome or having a set deadline for your aspirations. It’s about sitting with yourself, getting to know who that is, having the courage to release all that burdens you and start holding onto what brings you closer to your purpose. The more I aligned my choices, decisions, and daily habits with my future self’s lifestyle, the more I began to attract that way of being into my life. My mission is to help lead you inward to your personal power by opening up and sharing what led me to mine. I don’t believe we all have to hit rock bottom to find our true purpose, and my wish is that you have the courage to believe that whoever you are, and where ever you start, you are enough to make it happen today.

Know Better: Magic vs Logic

Since childhood my head has been filled with extraordinary ideas. Any idea that I was passionate about I held on to tight. I would dream about it, write about it, talk about it and begin to work towards it. Thinking it through with logic and dissecting what could go wrong if I pursued it was never a strong suit of mine. In fact I don’t believe any child should follow a dream with that kind of thinking. If I wanted it and believed in it there was no reason in sight why it couldn’t become a reality. Having others share my excitement and enthusiasm for these ideas was of great importance to me, sometimes just as important as my own opinion. If someone close to me did not agree, or see the possibilities, I allowed the negativity to take over.

When I would share these thoughts I held high expectations to the responses people gave me. If I didn’t receive positive feedback it felt as if someone let the air out of my dream. I was discouraged, frustrated and let down. I allowed other people’s reaction to validate my way of viewing the world. Some couldn’t fathom how it could be done while others gave me reasons as to why it would be too hard to accomplish. After a while the points were making complete sense and logic seemed so much stronger than magic ever could be.

In order for me to truly be happy and keep my passion alive I knew had to change my idea of acceptance. It took years for me to see how detrimental it is to give anyone that type of power over a decision that is ultimately my own to make. Everyone has different mindsets to go with different dreams and no one needs to agree for it to be possible. I decided I was no longer going to allow approval or validation to come from anywhere other than within.

As a grown woman I have vowed to keep the passionate child within me alive. The difference is now I am careful who I share my ideas with. I am conscious of the energies that wish me well and those who do not. At times I still find myself becoming discouraged due to the actions or beliefs of others, particularly if they are hurtful. Instead of getting frustrated I have decided to thank myself for being able to notice when my emotions take the lead, forgive myself and begin again.

It has not always been easy to turn a negative circumstance into a positive lesson. It takes moments of stillness to collect my thoughts and constant reminders to forgive and be kind. It takes a great amount of mental discipline to keep all of this in mind while remembering never to take it personal. I must extend these feelings of love and acceptance to those around me as well, especially for those who do not wish the same for me. Being mindful of my sensitivity toward actions out of my control has proven to be a way of strengthening my patience and understanding. It has also taught me that the intentions of others are not to prohibit me from striving toward my ultimate goal. This obstacle continues to appear in different times and events along my path, helping me grow into the person who is capable of becoming successful while remaining full of compassion, empathy and love.

Logic states something is valid within a particular set of principles and/or strict rules.

Magic gives us the freedom to believe anything is possible.

Believe.

#StayMindful