Learn How to Respond Consciously

Posted on December 8, 2019 by Sabrina Renee

When a person is thinking with their emotional mind rather than their logical mind they are essentially under the influence. They have been tricked into believing that their emotions are in control instead of themselves. Or may not be able to tell the difference between emotions and themselves, identifying with each by reciting the phrase I am.

Negative emotions almost feel amplified and more powerful than logic or any type of reasoning. Sadness, for example, can grow into a debilitating physical emotion if left unattended. The body feels heavier and a person’s perception of the world becomes dim. The more we feed into this way of thinking the deeper we get sucked into the realm of negativity. The struggle with emotions is that our thoughts are their fuel. If we do not have control over our thoughts our emotions will continue to stampede through our lives, relationships and our overall wellbeing.

Unless we are conscious of what we are feeling and when it begins to arise it is easy to get stuck in this way of thinking.

Responding to something takes mental strength, effort and mindfulness.

Mental Strength

The mental strength of holding onto the original thought, phrase or event with the potential to send one spiraling into a predetermined reaction. Picture a set of brain muscles holding on for dear life to a pole in a storm. That pole is the reason your emotions began to arise in the first place. The storm is the thoughts and scenarios that follow the initial thought. They will bombard you, tempt you, upset you and make you consider letting go of the pole and holding on to them instead. The thought storm, has been groomed over the years to be powerful instantly leading you to believe you are weak against it. However, your mental strength uses the tool of patience to weather any storm and patience will always outlast anguish.

Effort

Effort is the second step to responding rather than reacting. Effort is a form of determination, meaning it must be constant and not only be present when the thought storm isn’t as harsh. It must persevere and always continue moving forward, even if at a slow paced speed. Some storms you will have to face multiple times and each time you will grow in mental strength and effort. These may become easier in time to overcome but there will continue to be obstacles and strong storms waiting to test you. Effort comes in right after mental strength and plays a bit of a bigger role. It’s the constant reminder to come back to this way of coping with emotions. It’s the determination to stay with the discomfort face it head on every time. Effort is coming back to something you know may not be a pleasant experience but doing it time and time again knowing it will make you a stronger person mentally.

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is the third step in responding rather than reacting and you will constantly be using all three, at different and sometimes the same times. Although the concept of these three steps is a simple one it does not mean it will be easy. Mindfulness is observing this moment without passing judgment or wishing it were different. This does not mean you will be at peace with it instantly. It does mean, however, you are no longer trying to change what has already happened or wishing for a better outcome. You will be deciding to leave unnecessary mental anguish and suffering behind you for this new way of coping.

You have the choice to respond to the emotions that arise within you. What makes you believe you aren’t in control is the power behind your thinking habits. It takes an incredible amount of mental strength to believe in your ability to change, and an unending amount of effort to never give up and multiple doses of mindfulness to stay present with how you’re coping with emotions. When you choose to pause our regularly scheduled rumination, thinking or behavior pattern you interrupt autopilot. Allowing you to tune into what the mind and body are up to and become present with what is happening.

So pause, take a deep breath, and remember you’re in control.

Spirituality

Learn to Lead with Love

Posted on October 20, 2019 by Sabrina Renee

“Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything, maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.”

–Paulo Coelho

When you watch an innocent child enter this world you can see them for what they truly are, love. As you look forward to their future it’s filled with hope, endless possibilities, and limitless potential to be chased. Yet somehow, the more you lived your life, that perception of yourself was lost amongst experiences. Hope was traded in for fear, endless possibilities for the known territory of safety, limitless potential for the limited skill set you’ve already acquired.

So what is the difference between your life and the life of a brand new human arriving into the world? They haven’t been shaped by the opinions, restrictions, and defeatist attitudes of the environment around them. But there is something that you have that they must wait years to attain and that’s the wisdom to know you always have a choice.

Humans have the greatest compass of all- emotions, yet we are rarely taught how to utilize them for our benefit. If you are happy, excited, satisfied you are enjoying the moment. If you are sad, afraid, frustrated you are not enjoying the moment. The problem lies with where you place your focus during this time. Most people don’t allow themselves to appreciate and live in the positive feeling emotions because they begin to shift their attention to the fact that it is fleeting. Rather than basking in all the goodness flowing, the focus is on knowing it will be over soon. For the most part, people treat negative emotions differently with way more attention to detail, visualizing future outcomes and fueling the emotion’s fire. Rather than acknowledging that this emotion is also fleeting, the attention instead is focused on how much worse it can get.

Leading with Love or Fear

There are only two choices we make: those rooted in love or in fear. Choices made in fear are a combination of not knowing what will happen next and allowing the outside world’s opinions to penetrate your beliefs. The fearful ones will keep you sheltered from the unknown as a means of protection. The mind and the body have evolved to keep you safe and out of harms way, therefore it is constantly on the lookout for what makes you feel uneasy. Whether it’s a life-threatening reason to be afraid or one that will be incredibly embarrassing, it’s registered as something to stay away from. The mind speaks to the body by sending physical sensations to the body as signals that something wrong is about to happen, such as sweaty palms, tightening of the chest or heart palpitations. The goal of the mind and body system is to keep you away from what you fear, even if life is completely safe.

The choices rooted in love come from the heart and the soul, speaking to the desires that are innate within your being. When you make a decision to lead with love you bring yourself closer to who you’re becoming, which is really who you’ve always been. This doesn’t necessarily mean that each choice made in love will be easy to walk toward but they will feel right. Choices in love are led by your inner voice or intuition, this is different from the self-talk that happens in the mind. Intuition is a feeling of alignment or misalignment about behaviors or choices being made, whereas self-talk can be a mixture of doubt, fear, insecurity, and curiosity. To understand whether you are leading with love or with fear, bring awareness to your body as you consider your choices. If you’re feeling tension, dis-ease, and contracting your muscles-that is rooted in fear. If you’re feeling open, relaxed, and embracing the thought-that is your intuition. Always move forward with love and you’ll be led to what’s meant for you.

How to Use Your Emotional Compass

As always the first step to creating change, particularly an emotional or behavioral one, is by becoming aware of that which needs changing. Considering this is a habit you’ve picked up throughout your life it’ll be difficult to even remember to try and shift your thinking on it. So you need a trigger.

A trigger is something that alerts you when an emotion or behavior is prompted to occur. Personally I’ve struggled with emotional eating, whenever I began to feel a strong emotion occur I feel the urge to eat something. It’s a momentary pleasure that tricks my mind into thinking I’ll feel better once I act on the impulse. The trigger is the emotion, the impulse is to eat. Once I began to raise my awareness of what was causing the urge I was able to stay ahead of the feeling. Now it’s time to find what it is that’s triggering you, the following practice can be used for negative or positive emotion.

Practice

In your mind’s eye begin to think of a time in the past where you were happy. Get as specific as possible with this memory by bringing your 5 senses into the mix. Bring to mind what you were wearing, if you were eating or drinking something, take note of the temperature and any sounds around you. Remember how long that feeling of happiness lasted and whether it ended abruptly.

Did a thought interrupt it? If so, what was the thought?

Was it a physical sensation in your body that shifted your focus?

Make the connection that once you’ve taken your mind off of what delivered you happiness you are now taken into your thinking mind.

You are no longer in the present moment and it’s always waiting there for you again.

Bring yourself back to the now with a deep inhale recalling the happiness you felt.

As you exhale release the focus of the thinking mind and any tension in your body.

Staying True To Who You Always Were

The babies that enter this world are at their purest form, created by, embodying, and deserving of unconditional love. They are beings of wonder, curiosity, and emerging awareness. As they enter a world they know nothing about, it is the job of the parents and loving community to nurture this child. Nurturing extends far beyond food, water, warmth, and safety- these are the essential baselines.

Another type of nourishment is allowing them to embrace the song that sings in their hearts, dance to the message within their soul, explore the world with an open curiosity in an attempt to understand without judgment. But most importantly, those who are growing up need to understand that this journey will shape them, the world around them will try to change them, people will work tirelessly to instill fear and doubt into their precious minds.

These babies that grow into the people reading this post need to know they always have a choice to remain true to who they are. The choice begins when you acknowledge that you are enough, complete, and whole as you are at this moment. I pray that you choose to believe that, today and always.

Healing, MindBody

Coping With Anxious Mind

Posted on October 7, 2019January 24, 2023 by Sabrina Renee

“Problems cannot be solved with the same mindset that created them.“

-Albert Einstein

If you’ve experienced the power of anxiety you understand that it can often paralyze your mind and body. When your thinking gets hijacked by anxious thoughts it can create havoc in your life and quickly destroy inner peace. It’s possible to understand how to cope with an anxious mind but first, you have to get ahead of it. Taking back your thoughts starts with changing your thinking.

The time to learn how to redirect your thoughts isn’t in the midst of an anxious moment. It isn’t when you’re body is reacting to the emotion you’re experiencing. It definitely isn’t when you’ve already taken a negative action toward yourself or another person. The right time to understand the importance of redirecting your thoughts and shifting your focus is before it arises again.

Coping With An Anxious Mind

Coping with an anxious mind is a marathon, not a sprint and the training is extensive. The mental exhaustion caused by the creation of hypothetical scenarios is enough to keep you indecisive and filled with fear. That same amount of energy can be utilized to rewire the mind to focus the attention on the present moment.

As with all change, it begins with awareness of yourself. It requires a practice of separating the components of anxiety, understanding the mind and body connection, and implementing pause to practice responding appropriately to the experience. The separation exercise is what I use and teach my client, to break anxiety into 3 tangible parts: Thoughts, Physical Sensations, and Behaviors.

Each person’s level of anxiety differs from manageable to debilitating, with multiple levels in between. By understanding the cycle of anxiety you can acquire the tools to combat it when it rears its ugly head, no matter how intense it is. It’s essential to separate yourself from anxiety-producing thoughts such as self-doubt, fear, angst, scarcity, etc. The thinking mind is one of the first things to get hijacked when under anxiety’s grip, therefore it’s important to practice noticing when it begins creeping up.

How to Take Action

The trick to communicating positively with your thinking mind is to ask the right questions. If you ask “why do I feel this way?” you’ll typically start spiraling even quicker into whatever negative emotion you’re feeling. However, if you try asking yourself “how can I feel better?” you’ll get a more direct answer leading you away from how you feel and toward where you want to feel.

What thoughts are you experiencing right now?
What questions am I willing to do to heal from here?
How can I feel stronger? Happier? In control? More confident?

Physical sensations in the body are connected to the thoughts you are thinking, emotions you are feeling, or behaviors you are choosing to act on. An example of this anxiety would be heart palpitations, sweaty palms, dry mouth, tight chest, clenched fists, etc. This is the body reacting to warn you of danger or protect you because it perceives your anxiety as life-threatening.

When you zoom out of the severity of the situation, or when you’ve finally calmed down, it seems silly to have jumped to such intense conclusions. But the truth is the mind and body were working together to keep you safe and protected, from yourself.

The solution? Start paying attention to your body like it’s a science experiment through mindful awareness. This exact process helped me combat debilitating anxiety and I believe with some consistent practice, patience, and a smidge of humor you could do the same.

Start by taking notice of how your body is reacting. State it to yourself without judgment, be curious, open, and present at this moment. Avoid words like good, bad, scary, always, never, happy, sad, exciting, nervous, etc. Describe your experience with facts only, not emotion or past experience.

“My heart is beating very fast, interesting.”

“My palms are sweaty, huh.”

“My breath is shallow.”

“My stomach/chest feels tight.”

After each observation, take a few deep breaths, inhaling through the nose and exhaling through the mouth. Make your exhalation a bit longer than the inhalation to relax the muscles, letting your mind and body know you are taking control now.

Behaviors are decisions you come to after your thoughts have driven you to choose a particular path. However, behaviors under the influence of anxiety are intoxicated with whatever emotion you are feeling.

For instance, if your anxiety is fueled by fear of public speaking, your thoughts will trick you into thinking you are inadequate, and your physical sensations may be a closed throat and trembling body, therefore your behavior will be to never practice public speaking. Because you were under the influence of fear you’ve lost out on the opportunity to rise to the occasion of trying something new.

To be sure you are choosing your behaviors with a wise mind practicing pause is a significant practice. Before you make a choice under the influence of anxiety pause. Run through the ‘thought questions’, check in with your physical sensations, and decide if you’re capable of making a conscious decision right now.

When your thinking mind has been hijacked by anxiety everything has a sense of urgency, time is flying by, and each decision feels as if it needs to be made quickly. More than likely there is plenty of time to take time to sober up your thinking through deep breaths, come back to the present moment, and make a conscious effort to think clearly again.

Let’s Review

The thoughts in your thinking mind are influenced by the emotions you have or currently are experiencing. These emotions are what fuel the behaviors and decisions you choose. By practicing the separation exercise each day you can get a better understanding of what your triggers are, how they influence your decisions, and what it will take to take control over your thinking.

Remember, you don’t want to consider your exit strategy when the building is already on fire. Start working on your thoughts and noticing what experiences they lead to before you fall into the tight grips of anxiety.

Dealing with anxiety is in no way an easy feat, and rewiring your thinking process won’t be either. The choice you need to make is, which difficult road will bring you closer to solutions and peace of mind?

Love. Heal. Grow.

Learn how to manage your reactions to stress. Click here to join my free Stress Relief Workshop.

Healing

Where It All Began For Me

Posted on September 9, 2019 by Sabrina Renee

Have you ever become a version of yourself that is cringe-worthy to acknowledge?

Have you ever struggled to face yourself in the mirror and the choices you’ve made?

Have you ever lost yourself in someone else’s world?

Where do you even begin to pick up the pieces?

For me it started with the breath.

Sit With Yourself

My journey begins with a life shattering heartbreak, and by life shattering I mean the world as I knew it no longer existed. I didn’t leave because I fell out of love, in fact that’s what made it so hard. The love I felt for my partner was deeper than the love I felt for myself, that’s why I left. My intuition grew so loud that I could no longer ignore the call to walk away, even though I had no idea what life would be like on the other side. Something told me it was time to take the first step away from pain and into something new, even if I couldn’t see the next 100 feet in front of me.

Leaving a toxic relationship left me sad, fragile, and unhealthy. My soul knew I was meant for more, my mind couldn’t escape the life I had just left, and my body was too tired to make a move. After months of anxiety, depression, and essentially living in fight or flight mode, I knew a change needed to be made. There would be no divine intervention, or magical sign from above. It wouldn’t happen if I moved to another country to begin a new life. No matter where I went or what I did, the suffering would follow me, so I knew the change needed to happen from within.

I’ll never forget the day I decided to make a conscious effort to heal my broken self. Lying in a bed with tear soaked tissues and sheets that stunk like me, I finally asked myself “what can you do in this moment to get closer to something better, and away from this feeling?” The answer was to sit. Whether this is the right answer or not I’ll never know, but that was the answer that surfaced for me. I only had energy to change positions, so I went from lying down to sitting up.

It didn’t seem like much but it got my mind working in a different direction, a voice inside my head responded to my action by asking “now what?” Suddenly it hit me. In that moment I realized asking yourself the right questions will lead you to get answers that move you forward. Questions are what either fuel the rumination of negative thoughts or what fuel the momentum in a positive direction. I finally began to see that I did have some control over what I was going through, but I still felt overwhelmed by change. So the next thing I did was close my eyes and let out a huge sigh. I decided to sit and just breathe.

I didn’t know much of what meditation was, or the benefits, or even if I understood at that moment that I was meditating. But I was aware that the only thing I had control over in that moment was my position and my breath, so I went with it. What felt like an hour was most likely just short of 10 minutes, and when I opened my eyes nothing around me changed. I still felt sad, bitter, anxious- although slightly less; but each time I brought my attention back to the exhale something was different. It was in those brief moments that I wasn’t defined by my emotions, my experience, or even my physical sensations. In those tiny glimpses of a second that I could focus on my breath I became the awareness behind my experiences.

Just a glance at a different way of thinking, a simple taste of a slightly better perception, was all I needed to believe my life was in my hands. I started to see the next 100 feet.

And So The Self-Discovering Journey Begins

After that day I vowed to always come back to my breath, no matter where my thoughts take me or what my body wishes we were doing instead of being still. I promised I would sit with my discomfort until it revealed what it was here to teach me. I began to understand that I was operating from 3 different points of view: my past, my present, and my future self. So I decided to explore all of me and get to know my true self. In order for me to heal I needed to know who was controlling my thinking mind in the moment, and how to align it with my current actions. Getting to know my three selves allowed me to accept my painful past, come back to the present moment, and accept the possibility that I could create an even brighter future.

The more I began to control my mindset and attitudes the more my goals of health expanded. It was challenging to look in a mirror, put on clothes, and carry conversations with others because I was so deeply uncomfortable in my own skin. I started asking myself how I wanted to feel, rather than focusing on how low I was feeling, and that began my journey of 3 fold health.

Focusing on health as a three-fold process meant mental, physical, and spiritual healing. In all of these ways I was weak, learning how to use muscles that have been dormant for so long took patience and consistency. I started meditating and writing about my journey daily, while working out 3 times a week. Just getting to the gym on some days was the accomplishment, but as time went on I increased the duration of workouts and amount of times I exercised weekly.

Fitness became an outlet for me to express my strength, growth, and ability to push my own limits. I loved who I was becoming, not because I was putting more weight on or because I was finally using double digit weights, but because I remembered where I started. I knew I wanted to help others find this personal power within themselves, so I began studying to become a personal trainer.

The more I got to know my true self the more I understood I’m not alone in this struggle of self. And just like with the journey of getting stronger physically, I wanted to help others dig deep into their personal power of knowing and loving themselves unconditionally. The deeper I got to know myself the more passionate I became about sharing my knowledge, insights, and experiences with other women who were just as lost as I once was. This sparked the idea to pursue a career of teaching women the power of 3 fold fitness, so I began studying to become a mindfulness teacher.

That Person Led Me Here…

My solution was to forgive myself, accept myself, and become the greatest version of myself- because I owed that to me. I promised the fragile girl crying on the bed I’d grow into the person she needed most that day, a healer. In that moment I would have never believed it to be possible to be who I am today, sharing these messages, loving what I do all while creating positive ripple effects in the world. It’s not about knowing the outcome or having a set deadline for your aspirations. It’s about sitting with yourself, getting to know who that is, having the courage to release all that burdens you and start holding onto what brings you closer to your purpose. The more I aligned my choices, decisions, and daily habits with my future self’s lifestyle, the more I began to attract that way of being into my life. My mission is to help lead you inward to your personal power by opening up and sharing what led me to mine. I don’t believe we all have to hit rock bottom to find our true purpose, and my wish is that you have the courage to believe that whoever you are, and where ever you start, you are enough to make it happen today.

MindBody

Overcoming Self-Doubt: A Mini Guide to A Healthier Self

Posted on September 6, 2019January 26, 2021 by Sabrina Renee

A thought that is fed emotion gains a super strength. From there it has the ability to create possibilities or limitations, depending on the quality of the feeling. Experiencing doubt is a mental virus that spreads through all aspects of your life. A thought as simple as “I don’t think I can do this” starts to attract other defeating thoughts until you begin believing them.

Changing a particular way of thinking is not going to happen quickly, and that’s a good thing. While you practice positive thoughts layers of your own mind will be uncovered, as you get to know the REAL you.

The authentic self that is innately good, healthy, happy and free of worry. It took years of past experiences to accumulate your self doubt so be patient as you begin to shift toward a mindset of belief.

It’s time to start ripping out the negative weed

and replace it with an affirming seed.

What to Do in Moments of Doubt

All goals must have a plan, discipline is a fundamental principle of that plan. Lasting behavior change takes constant action toward becoming the healthier version of you. If you want to be, do, and think better than you are today it takes practice.

Practice thinking with confidence, practice making the optimal choice, practice being aware of your thoughts and actions. If you are struggling to gain control over thoughts start by shifting your mind’s attention.

Here is a list of questions, affirmations, and tips that will help you slowly begin thinking healthier thoughts about yourself. Ask yourself these questions when the mental chatter becomes overbearing, and continue asking until you reach something positive.

There are no right or wrong answers.

**Only responses that either propel you toward your goal or hold you back from it.**

Questions: Check in with the mind

Inner dialogue: Am I listening to my inner critic or an inner companion? Which voice is bringing me closer to the mindset I wish to acquire?

Affirming the life you want for yourself: Am I focusing on what I want or what I’m afraid of? If the focus is on all that can go wrong, what are three things that can go right?

Practice healthy disciplines: What can I do to start and end my day on a positive note? How can I stay on track daily even when life gets busy?

Tips: Check in with your body

Importance of posture

Slouching is a good indicator that your thoughts are running wild. Take a deep breath, straighten out your back, exhale, relax your jaw, and drop your shoulders.

Fueling your body vs filling it up

Plan your meals so you aren’t stuck eating something that will leave you tired, sluggish, and further from feeling better about yourself. Fruits, veggies, and nuts are quick snacks to help give you more energy. And of course, stay hydrated, drink plenty of water throughout the day especially when working out.

Intentional movement

Working out is good for your mind, body, and soul. If you don’t have the time for a workout you can always go for a walk outside, stretch out your body, or dance around to your favorite playlist. Reward your muscles for keeping up with your demands.

Past present future self

Remember where you came from, but don’t live in those memories. Let go of your mistakes and learn from them for your future self. Consider how you want your future to unfold and the actions you’re taking to get there.

Be present with the people around you and the places you visit. Rather than focusing on how long is left on the journey to your goals, express gratitude for where you are and how far you’ve come. Appreciate the moments that fly right by.

**Practices: Implementing simple and fun healthy habits**

It’s important to prioritize your time wisely, especially for having fun. This way you don’t feel guilty for indulging and you still get things accomplished. You deserve a healthy life balance and you also have to be the one to create it.

Do something FUN

When was the last time you did something INTENTIONALLY because it made you happy?

Moving your body and taking care of your mind can feel fun, but there’s a deeper meaning of health behind it. It’s easy to sit behind television and allow a program to make you happy, so challenge yourself to find happiness within an activity. Try something like coloring, journaling, listening to music, or anything else that makes you engage. Prioritize time for something that will help elevate your mood. If you can’t think of anything think about what you loved to do as a kid and go from there.

Stillness between activities(meditation)

Transitioning your mindset from busy to relaxed or sleeping to active is essential to achieve optimal results.

Take the time to pay attention to your mental chatter and the emotional direction it is pulling you in. When you have a handle on your mood there is a better sense of control over whatever situation arises. Be prepared mentally, physically, and emotionally for what you are transitioning to throughout the day.

Visualization

Set aside 10-20 minutes to set intentions for the day

Each day you are given a fresh set of opportunities to be happier, healthier and more successful than yesterday. To create that life you must visualize what it looks like and the ways it can unfold. Think about how you want to feel and how you wish to impact others. Planning your day each morning makes it easier to adapt to various obstacles. Consider the choices you can easily make today that will push you closer to your best self until you’re there!

These questions, tips, and practices are a great starting point to begin shifting your mindset toward confidence. Overcoming self-doubt won’t happen quickly, but in time and with consistent practice you will begin to see massive changes. Be relentless in your pursuit of confidence and peace of mind. Keep pushing your mind into a positive space until it turns into a habit. Watch how easily your life begins to flow.

Moving Through Life With Confidence

Planting seeds of faith takes time and consistent practice, so does becoming aware of where self-doubt lives. So check in with your body: what does it need right now? Keep asking yourself the questions that bring you closer to living with confidence and clarity. Visualize the lifestyle, feelings, and circumstances you want to walk through in life. Allow yourself to be still so that you spirit can catch up to how busy your mind moves.

LOVE.HEAL.GROW.