Learn How to Respond Consciously

Posted on December 8, 2019 by Sabrina Renee

When a person is thinking with their emotional mind rather than their logical mind they are essentially under the influence. They have been tricked into believing that their emotions are in control instead of themselves. Or may not be able to tell the difference between emotions and themselves, identifying with each by reciting the phrase I am.

Negative emotions almost feel amplified and more powerful than logic or any type of reasoning. Sadness, for example, can grow into a debilitating physical emotion if left unattended. The body feels heavier and a person’s perception of the world becomes dim. The more we feed into this way of thinking the deeper we get sucked into the realm of negativity. The struggle with emotions is that our thoughts are their fuel. If we do not have control over our thoughts our emotions will continue to stampede through our lives, relationships and our overall wellbeing.

Unless we are conscious of what we are feeling and when it begins to arise it is easy to get stuck in this way of thinking.

Responding to something takes mental strength, effort and mindfulness.

Mental Strength

The mental strength of holding onto the original thought, phrase or event with the potential to send one spiraling into a predetermined reaction. Picture a set of brain muscles holding on for dear life to a pole in a storm. That pole is the reason your emotions began to arise in the first place. The storm is the thoughts and scenarios that follow the initial thought. They will bombard you, tempt you, upset you and make you consider letting go of the pole and holding on to them instead. The thought storm, has been groomed over the years to be powerful instantly leading you to believe you are weak against it. However, your mental strength uses the tool of patience to weather any storm and patience will always outlast anguish.

Effort

Effort is the second step to responding rather than reacting. Effort is a form of determination, meaning it must be constant and not only be present when the thought storm isn’t as harsh. It must persevere and always continue moving forward, even if at a slow paced speed. Some storms you will have to face multiple times and each time you will grow in mental strength and effort. These may become easier in time to overcome but there will continue to be obstacles and strong storms waiting to test you. Effort comes in right after mental strength and plays a bit of a bigger role. It’s the constant reminder to come back to this way of coping with emotions. It’s the determination to stay with the discomfort face it head on every time. Effort is coming back to something you know may not be a pleasant experience but doing it time and time again knowing it will make you a stronger person mentally.

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is the third step in responding rather than reacting and you will constantly be using all three, at different and sometimes the same times. Although the concept of these three steps is a simple one it does not mean it will be easy. Mindfulness is observing this moment without passing judgment or wishing it were different. This does not mean you will be at peace with it instantly. It does mean, however, you are no longer trying to change what has already happened or wishing for a better outcome. You will be deciding to leave unnecessary mental anguish and suffering behind you for this new way of coping.

You have the choice to respond to the emotions that arise within you. What makes you believe you aren’t in control is the power behind your thinking habits. It takes an incredible amount of mental strength to believe in your ability to change, and an unending amount of effort to never give up and multiple doses of mindfulness to stay present with how you’re coping with emotions. When you choose to pause our regularly scheduled rumination, thinking or behavior pattern you interrupt autopilot. Allowing you to tune into what the mind and body are up to and become present with what is happening.

So pause, take a deep breath, and remember you’re in control.

Practices

3 Evening Routine Tips to Increase Your Daily Productivity

Posted on October 17, 2019 by Sabrina Renee

Having an Intentional Routine

Everyone talks about the importance of a morning routine meanwhile, the evening is neglected. Although I am an advocate for having an intentional and considerate routine once that alarm goes off, I also know the importance of preparing for rest in the evening.

A routine at the beginning of the day emphasized the importance of getting ahead of the day. But as the day goes on you collect energies, experiences, and beliefs about what transpired. Some days are likely going to be more demanding than others, which can often cause people to come home without the thought of dealing with what they’re feeling. Instead, they say “I can’t wait for this day to end” while looking forward to crashing in bed and hoping tomorrow will be better. But as the great Rachel Hollis says, hope is not a strategy. If you want things to go in a more progressive direction it takes planning and conscious effort to execute those actions.

If you’re being intentional about how you start the day and careless about how you end the day, what are you bringing to bed with you every night?

Releasing the day

The subconscious mind is retaining information at all times and is most susceptible once you wake up and before you go to sleep. Therefore the behaviors you engage in at the end of the day are making a massive impact on your belief system. Let’s say you had a negative interaction with a co-worker or classmate before heading home that left a bad taste in your mouth. By choosing not to unpack what happened, how it made you feel, and what behavior occurs as a result, you are adding a sense of heaviness to your evening. All of which you take to sleep with you among the thousands of other thoughts.

Start letting go of whatever you are holding onto. Each night reflect on what has affected you the most emotionally, how it weighs on you mentally, and decide how you can begin to release its mental grip on you. The way to invite a more peaceful way of thinking is to ask yourself questions that guide you toward calm. After you allow yourself the chance to accept what has already happened, you can begin to detach from the worry or false sense of control that follows. Bring to mind all the ways you gave your all and acknowledge that at this moment the best thing you can do is be at peace with what has already occurred.

What am I willing to improve?

For most people letting go is a challenging thought, so it helps to put it into practice by considering the ways the can improve next time. Whether you can anticipate the situation arising again soon or down the road at some point, bring to mind what is giving you the most difficulty. How did you handle it this time around? What worked for you and what didn’t? If you could go back and make a better decision, what would it be?

Before getting to the part where you ask questions on how you are willing to improve, you have to come to an understanding that what’s done is done. There is no going back and changing the past but you do have the opportunity to learn from it. Take that drop of wisdom and apply it to your mental arsenal for the next time you come across a similar circumstance. At the end of each day, your checklist isn’t always going to prove you did your best, but you can always learn to be better by checking in.

Morning Routine Starts at Night

The responsibilities of tomorrow begin hours before they are completed. Some people visualize their results, others plan out meticulously, some people do both of these and more. Preparing the night before is a successful habit to ensure you get the most of your time each morning. If you wake up early plan your outfit the night before, have an idea of what you’ll have for breakfast and what you’ll dedicate your first hour doing/having or being.

After practicing what to release and how you’ll improve, you have a clear idea of the type of person you want to become. Maybe you’ve realized you’re lacking patience or that you could practice more kindness to yourself and others. Maybe after reflecting on your day you see that you’re just going through the motions and wish to be more intentional. Maybe you’re exhausted and want to find pockets of the day to recharge so that you may be your best self. Whatever you choose to bring attention to at night could easily be your focus the following day.

Let’s Review

The three things to incorporate into your evening routine to increase your productivity the next day are: releasing the day, asking yourself where you are willing to improve, and starting your morning routine at night. It’s time that you prioritize your evening routine as much as your morning routine because both of these times are sacred. Each routine provides a sense of stability, reflection, awareness, and the opportunity to become a better version of who you are. If you’re allowing the evening to be driven by the demand of the day you’re missing out on the chance to be more productive and mindful being. Start your evening routine tonight and set yourself up for a better tomorrow.

Healing, MindBody

Practices of a Healthy Mind

Posted on October 11, 2019 by Sabrina Renee

What is Meditation?

“A quality of high attentiveness and concentration. An attitude of open mindedness and curiosity.”

Meditation is the disciplined practice of concentration and focus, whether it be on the breath, a movement, a repeated phrase or an object. It can be done while sitting in a chair or on a mat, standing, lying down, practicing yoga or taking a walk. Essentially, it is the act of paying attention and increasing your focus muscle, inviting a sense of calm and clarity to the mind. This is often misinterpreted as clearing the mind of all thought, but that’s definitely not the point of meditation. It’s about practicing the art of slowing down both mentally and physically.

There is no end goal to meditation. It is a practice meant to be applied throughout your life. The more you practice the better you become at practicing stillness. It’s important not to become discouraged by any difficulty in the beginning. One of the biggest challenges when starting a meditation practice is that there is no instant gratification. The world we live in thrives on immediate answers to questions and solutions to problems. Moreover, our emotions are lacking regulation because we simply don’t take the time to experience them as they occur. It isn’t easy to face the reasons why we feel pulled in 6 different directions at one time, however it is important to get in touch with those reasons.

Slowing down and paying attention is exactly what we need to balance us out in such a fast paced society. It allows us the chance to be present and appreciate what we have in the midst of striving for more. The mind won’t function at a higher rate with the same mentality that burns it out. The definition of insanity is repeating the same actions and expecting new results.

So what is Mindfulness?

Mindfulness is a practice of awareness. Practicing awareness is bringing your focus to either your thoughts, physical sensations or breathing, whatever is occurring at this moment. When you are being mindful you are utilizing the traits of patience, acceptance, forgiveness, nonjudgment and having a beginner’s mind toward yourself and others. Whether in the form of anxiety or a difficult emotion, we need to start paying attention to our emotions and learn to regulate them in the moment.

Although mindfulness and meditation are both practices they are not one in the same. Mindfulness incorporates the principles listed above and can be practiced at any moment. It is the simple act of paying attention to the minor details that are normally glanced over. Brushing your teeth, showering and walking out of your house, just to name a few. For instance, have you ever driven from one place to another and didn’t remember the actual driving process? After learning how to drive it becomes habitual. The mind kicks in when it’s necessary, like an emergency brake or when traffic breaks so we speed up. But for the majority of the time we allow our autopilot to take over.

If we can allow our awareness to shut off when we are operating a vehicle daily,

how many other vital moments are we missing?

Mindful Awareness Meditation

This is a simple discipline that will both challenge and change you, combining both mindful awareness and meditation into one very powerful practice. First you need something to focus on and in this case it will be your breath. The only way to know when you are distracted is if your attention is on one thing to begin with. The breath is portable, easily accessible and always in the present moment-making it the ideal single point of focus.

Next you’ll need to find a comfortable posture. If you’re choosing a chair I would recommend one without arms to practice proper posture, feet flat on the floor. Placing your palms on your knees, facing the ceiling or resting on your lap (pretend you’re holding a giant imaginary wheel.) Remember you can also lay down and practice on a mat. I wouldn’t suggest doing so on your bed; your body understands that comfort zone as place to sleep, not pay attention.

Finally set a duration of time, preferably 10 minutes to start, and focus on your breath. Your thoughts will absolutely interrupt you and pull you away from your purpose. Some may be unpleasant or fantastical, continue to remind yourself gently why you are sitting here. Keep coming back to the breath. Losing your train of thought is just another form of practicing patience with yourself. Don’t attach expectations of disciplined stillness onto this practice when this is something you’ve never done. And don’t give up at the first sign of frustration!

Struggling to sit in stillness for 10 minutes is why you should continue to practice sitting still.

Practicing Discipline and Responding to Distraction

When you first begin to meditate your thoughts will be running wild. Your mind thinks this way 24/7. The only difference is now you are paying attention to those rapid thoughts. That’s a HUGE step in the direction of progress. Remember meditation is a disciplined practice. Be kind, patient and forgiving toward yourself when losing track of the breath. Keep coming back to the breath over and over and over again.

The time of day you choose to meditate varies for each person. Most of the books I’ve read recommend doing it first thing in the morning to set the tone of the day. I’ve found it helps pairing meditation time with a responsibility or chore. My morning practice takes place after I brush my teeth. I sit on a chair or mat for at least ten minutes, focusing on my breath and visualizing the day ahead. On the days that I am extremely distracted struggling to stay still, I gain the most from my practice. With that experience in mind I know it’s important to continue checking in on my moods and thoughts throughout the day.

Keep coming back! This advice can not be said enough. Come back to your breath, the chair, the reason why you sat still to begin with. Only then will responding to the mental distractions become easier. It’s not about clearing your mind but rather working toward peace of mind. Committing to meditation, even just ten minutes a day will build your awareness of self and increase your ability to regulate emotions.

TRY THIS AT HOME!

If there were a way to slow the chatter of your mind, learn to control your moods, and ultimately become a better person you’d jump on the chance. Meditation is that practice. It is not a quick fix because it’s the journey that is meant to change you. Only in experiencing moments of discomfort are you pushed to fulfill your potential. Practicing stillness makes you grow through what you go through.

Whatever success looks like in your life meditation will only help you get there. Commit to your future self’s mental health and practice meditation for one week, 10 minutes a day. Pay attention to the challenges, not with a judgmental mind but with an open awareness- get to know the real you.

Meditation is not just for religious people, spiritual people, or those who believe in something higher. It’s for those who wish to function optimally in an ever-changing world.

Healing, MindBody

Coping With Anxious Mind

Posted on October 7, 2019January 24, 2023 by Sabrina Renee

“Problems cannot be solved with the same mindset that created them.“

-Albert Einstein

If you’ve experienced the power of anxiety you understand that it can often paralyze your mind and body. When your thinking gets hijacked by anxious thoughts it can create havoc in your life and quickly destroy inner peace. It’s possible to understand how to cope with an anxious mind but first, you have to get ahead of it. Taking back your thoughts starts with changing your thinking.

The time to learn how to redirect your thoughts isn’t in the midst of an anxious moment. It isn’t when you’re body is reacting to the emotion you’re experiencing. It definitely isn’t when you’ve already taken a negative action toward yourself or another person. The right time to understand the importance of redirecting your thoughts and shifting your focus is before it arises again.

Coping With An Anxious Mind

Coping with an anxious mind is a marathon, not a sprint and the training is extensive. The mental exhaustion caused by the creation of hypothetical scenarios is enough to keep you indecisive and filled with fear. That same amount of energy can be utilized to rewire the mind to focus the attention on the present moment.

As with all change, it begins with awareness of yourself. It requires a practice of separating the components of anxiety, understanding the mind and body connection, and implementing pause to practice responding appropriately to the experience. The separation exercise is what I use and teach my client, to break anxiety into 3 tangible parts: Thoughts, Physical Sensations, and Behaviors.

Each person’s level of anxiety differs from manageable to debilitating, with multiple levels in between. By understanding the cycle of anxiety you can acquire the tools to combat it when it rears its ugly head, no matter how intense it is. It’s essential to separate yourself from anxiety-producing thoughts such as self-doubt, fear, angst, scarcity, etc. The thinking mind is one of the first things to get hijacked when under anxiety’s grip, therefore it’s important to practice noticing when it begins creeping up.

How to Take Action

The trick to communicating positively with your thinking mind is to ask the right questions. If you ask “why do I feel this way?” you’ll typically start spiraling even quicker into whatever negative emotion you’re feeling. However, if you try asking yourself “how can I feel better?” you’ll get a more direct answer leading you away from how you feel and toward where you want to feel.

What thoughts are you experiencing right now?
What questions am I willing to do to heal from here?
How can I feel stronger? Happier? In control? More confident?

Physical sensations in the body are connected to the thoughts you are thinking, emotions you are feeling, or behaviors you are choosing to act on. An example of this anxiety would be heart palpitations, sweaty palms, dry mouth, tight chest, clenched fists, etc. This is the body reacting to warn you of danger or protect you because it perceives your anxiety as life-threatening.

When you zoom out of the severity of the situation, or when you’ve finally calmed down, it seems silly to have jumped to such intense conclusions. But the truth is the mind and body were working together to keep you safe and protected, from yourself.

The solution? Start paying attention to your body like it’s a science experiment through mindful awareness. This exact process helped me combat debilitating anxiety and I believe with some consistent practice, patience, and a smidge of humor you could do the same.

Start by taking notice of how your body is reacting. State it to yourself without judgment, be curious, open, and present at this moment. Avoid words like good, bad, scary, always, never, happy, sad, exciting, nervous, etc. Describe your experience with facts only, not emotion or past experience.

“My heart is beating very fast, interesting.”

“My palms are sweaty, huh.”

“My breath is shallow.”

“My stomach/chest feels tight.”

After each observation, take a few deep breaths, inhaling through the nose and exhaling through the mouth. Make your exhalation a bit longer than the inhalation to relax the muscles, letting your mind and body know you are taking control now.

Behaviors are decisions you come to after your thoughts have driven you to choose a particular path. However, behaviors under the influence of anxiety are intoxicated with whatever emotion you are feeling.

For instance, if your anxiety is fueled by fear of public speaking, your thoughts will trick you into thinking you are inadequate, and your physical sensations may be a closed throat and trembling body, therefore your behavior will be to never practice public speaking. Because you were under the influence of fear you’ve lost out on the opportunity to rise to the occasion of trying something new.

To be sure you are choosing your behaviors with a wise mind practicing pause is a significant practice. Before you make a choice under the influence of anxiety pause. Run through the ‘thought questions’, check in with your physical sensations, and decide if you’re capable of making a conscious decision right now.

When your thinking mind has been hijacked by anxiety everything has a sense of urgency, time is flying by, and each decision feels as if it needs to be made quickly. More than likely there is plenty of time to take time to sober up your thinking through deep breaths, come back to the present moment, and make a conscious effort to think clearly again.

Let’s Review

The thoughts in your thinking mind are influenced by the emotions you have or currently are experiencing. These emotions are what fuel the behaviors and decisions you choose. By practicing the separation exercise each day you can get a better understanding of what your triggers are, how they influence your decisions, and what it will take to take control over your thinking.

Remember, you don’t want to consider your exit strategy when the building is already on fire. Start working on your thoughts and noticing what experiences they lead to before you fall into the tight grips of anxiety.

Dealing with anxiety is in no way an easy feat, and rewiring your thinking process won’t be either. The choice you need to make is, which difficult road will bring you closer to solutions and peace of mind?

Love. Heal. Grow.

Learn how to manage your reactions to stress. Click here to join my free Stress Relief Workshop.

MindBody

How to Manage Your Energy and Own The Day

Posted on September 27, 2019September 19, 2022 by Sabrina Renee

There will be days that you wake up ready to take on everything with a positive attitude and assertive attitude. There will be days that you wake up focused on the tasks and responsibilities you’re reluctant to show up for.

If the energy of your day is left to chance or fleeting moods, you’ll surrender your power to the environment, people, and happenings that surround you. You’ll be led by their intentions, their agendas, and you’ll be swallowed up in their world. Meanwhile, you’re feeling lethargic and misaligned, chalking it up to just another bad day. But the truth is your approach to the day is what labels it positive, negative, or indifferent.

Thought Management

Thoughts will lead the way if they are given the power. Considering the fact that most people are unaware of their thought patterns or even how to notice their thought patterns, it’s likely the thoughts are unconsciously calling the shots. Mindful awareness is a practice of bringing nonjudgmental attention to who and how you are being in this moment. Practicing mindful awareness is the bridge between the discontent you’re experiencing inside your mind and making a conscious change in your mindset.

Becoming aware of the thoughts you are constantly focusing on is a simple task. Start by noticing the first 5 thoughts you have in the morning. Sounds easy right? Actually, it is! The challenging part is bringing attention to them without judging them by placing labels like a negative, positive, or indifferent. Instead, practice choosing an approach of curiosity. Rather than allowing the feelings related to these thoughts to morph into the mood you choose for the day, practice choosing a thought that is aligned with your higher self.

Without getting too deep into spiritual teachings, your higher self is the very best version of who you already are. Each of us has innate goodness within, which is all deserving of an abundance of well-being and joy. The more life you experienced the harder those feelings of goodness came naturally, and the more they become undone and interrupted by the stimuli being consumed daily.

As you got older it seemed easier to adapt the defeated attitudes that excuse you from doing the difficult stuff, and that began taking a toll on your overall well-being. The higher self version of you is simply waiting for you to take off the layers blocking your success, but only you can take action and begin removing what no longer serves you.

The higher self is the version of you that’s in alignment with what is best for the mind, body, and spirit’s health. Every person’s higher self is essentially a more evolved and wise version. Although you are the same person, there is a path of growth and change separating you. That path begins with the awareness you choose to bring to the parts of you that are burdening your progress. The opportunities to make progress lie in your thinking, choices, in the daily habits and behaviors you choose every day.

Thought management becomes easier to understand and digest once you’ve accepted that you can absolutely control what you focus your attention on. If this concept is difficult to accept I encourage you to make a conscious effort to focus your attention on how you want to think and feel.

Managing your thoughts does not mean falsely believing the opposite of your current thought, and it’s certainly not about ignoring the emotions that surface as a result. Thought management is becoming aware of the thinking pattern that already exists within your mind, releasing judgment of it, and learning how to choose a different route of thought.

Remember the speed and intensity of your thoughts are not new, you’re just finally deciding to tune in, which is the first step toward taking back your control. After you’ve practiced noticing the patterns and the judgmental labels attached to them, it’s time to shift your attention to how you want to feel. Maybe you don’t know yet, and that’s the beauty of self-awareness, there is always more ground to cover.

Energy Management

Throughout the day the energy you experience is influenced by a multitude of factors. Nevertheless, the energy you experience is entirely your responsibility. Specifically, if you are wearing different hats throughout the day (partner, parent, boss, employee, student, friend) you have to hold yourself to a higher standard of energy.

The type of energy you bring into a work meeting is extremely different from the type of energy you bring home to your family. In order to manage the energy, you’re experiencing, as well as prepare your energy levels for an approaching task, you need to know how you want to feel.

There are a few ways to get to know more about your energy. You can start by getting in touch with the energy you are already experiencing, and get curious about how you feel and what it took to get to this point. When transitioning from one task to another, it’s essential that you check in with the energy you are bringing.

Be intentional about the energy you are expressing with yourself, with others, and emitting out into the world. Start by asking “How do I want to feel?” and “How do I want to invite others to feel?” If you’re experiencing happiness or joy ask yourself what thoughts and/or experiences brought you to this level? After you experienced something did you continue to fuel those thoughts and ignite the flames generating more intensity around the emotion?

Another way you can understand your energy better is by reverse engineering. Start by focusing on the energy, feeling, and/or emotion you want to feel. For some people, it’s easy to jump right into that state just with the thought of it, while others struggle with matching that feeling. If it’s difficult to shift break down what it would take to get you into that state, starting with effective questions such as:

How can I get closer to an elevated mood?
What thoughts will bring me to increase my energy?
When I struggle to stay in this state, what should I bring my focus to?
What word, phrase, or thought could I use as an anchor in this feeling?
It’s also important to dive deep into your answer because saying you want to feel good isn’t specific enough.

Let’s Review

Life circumstances can rarely be controlled, if ever. Your personal power lies in how you show up and the response you choose. Working to improve both your mindset and vitality is the greatest investment of your time. The reward will be a healthier mind, an energized body, and a fulfilled soul that impacts the lives of those they encounter.

Thoughts create things and energy never dies, it only transforms. Both thoughts and energy will lead the way if you surrender internal power. But if you consciously choose to make time and energy management a priority, the reward will show up in your life ten times over. Stop leaving your days to change and start preparing for the days of lower vibrations and negative emotions. Don’t wait until the building is on fire to think of an exit strategy, stay two steps ahead of the stimuli around you, and always consider what serves your higher self.

Love. Heal. Grow.