Posted in Growth, Spirituality

Learning to Surrender to Something More

What Does it Mean to Surrender?

The two forces constantly at play in your live are resistance and allowance. Both resistance and allowance show up as energy that propels your thinking, behavior, and even your emotional state. If you are choosing a state of resistance you are refusing to accept life circumstances as they are. Your energy flows where your attention goes, and your attention is what you focus on. Therefore, by focusing on what you lack, dislike, and find unpleasant you are choosing a resistant energy to handle what’s happening. Of course suffering is a part of the human experience, negative emotions are always going to surface and that’s not necessarily a bad thing, even though it may feel that way. The point isn’t to rid yourself of low vibration emotions entirely, but instead to notice when you are fueling the fire that burns them.

By choosing a state of allowance you are opening yourself to recognize what is happening. You allow yourself to experience life as it is, without comparing or fixating on alternative ways it could or should have played out. Instead of investing your energy on what you don’t want to happen, your focus is instead on accepting it already has happened. There is nothing that can be changed except your point of view and relationship to that experience. This is what it means to surrender, to completely accept what is and release your grips on the idea that it could have been any different.

Whatever you focus on you invite more of into your experience. And although you don’t control all of what is happening outside of you, there is control over what is happening within you. As the emotions begin to surface whether pleasant or unpleasant, you can choose what you’d like to focus on. The sensations in your body, the thoughts in your mind, your overall experience, or what is happening outside of you. See, there are multiple facets of experience, each having a unique lesson to teach if you’re willing to pay attention to it. The attention is your investment of energy, that which you focus on is where your energy flows, ultimately amplifying your experience of that thing. Usually, the mind will focus on the most intense feelings occurring in the present moment, it’s up to you to tune in and shift gears.

Letting Go For What?

Surrendering your resistance to allow implies that you are giving up, and in a way you are. By choosing to resist the life in front of you, because you’re stuck on the thought that it could have been different, you are wasting time and energy. You’re giving up that way of thinking for a different way of seeing things. It’s not that you’re quitting on yourself or your plans, but you’re deciding to acknowledge that life has knocked you off course. Instead of pushing forward with your original plan, you’re opening yourself to the changes that have found you and the possibilities that follow. In order for true change to occur, you must step into the shoes of the now and not at the moment when life veered off the course that you designed for it.

To surrender means to release, let go, relinquish your hold of someone or something. Surrendering takes a certain set of attitudes to practice such as curiosity, openness, non-judgment, and detachment. By practicing curiosity and non-judgment you are bringing a mindful focus to your circumstance while dropping your opinion of what should be. Paying attention to what is happening without expectation of what will follow, or doubts about this moment. While openness and detachment help you release the belief that what is happening is personal. Choosing to see beyond the world created inside your mind and expanding to life within the universe, filled with intricate connections and divine timing that’s a part of a much larger picture.

It’s important to recognize unpleasant experiences are not happening to you, they are just happening. Because if you see yourself as helpless against life than you do not see your responsibility to how you respond to it. Instead, start seeing it as if life is happening for you to practice leveling up. Open your mind to the possibility that you are here to evolve into your greatest self and that adversity is here to help you do that. Although life cannot be undone, and there are plenty of experiences outside of your realm of control, you are the one that decides the mindset that moves you forward. So each time you find yourself experiencing unpleasantness or negative emotions, you are faced with the choice of resistance or allowance. You can choose to resist the reality of what is happening right now, ultimately perpetuating a limit that doesn’t need to exist in your life. Or you can choose to allow the reality of what is happening right now, and the difference is acceptance. You have to let go of the belief that whatever happens to you is personal, only then can you choose to allow yourself to practice acceptance.

But what are you surrendering to?

A higher intelligence. You don’t need to be religious or spiritual, you don’t have to have specific beliefs about the universe, energy, or life. All that you need to understand is you don’t have all the answers, so surrender to that fact. Release the idea that you have to have everything figured out and that life must flow according to your mind map. Lean into the belief that it is happening for you to grow, because even when it’s the worst feeling in the world this belief will move you in the right direction. There’s a difference between what is happening and your relationship to what is happening, which is where your energy gets stuck every time. Focusing primarily on the emotional pain you’re experiencing rather than prioritizing how you’re going to bounce back. If something pains you heal it, always, that’s a pivotal part of the process but it’s not the end of the road. Never allow pain to keep you resistant of what else is out there for you.

Expand your awareness beyond the thoughts and emotions that hold you in an unpleasant place. Open up to the idea that this could be used as a way of bringing you closer to a pleasant place. Create space in your mind for the possibility that there is a higher intelligence that can be tapped into and that you have a say in the direction of your life. Allow yourself to explore the opportunity of surrendering when you feel like you’re doing too much, because you most likely are, and surrender it to something that can handle the magnitude. Become mindful of your relationship with whatever or whoever you are surrendering too, and nourish it. Let go of the idea of what society says this higher intelligence is and seek that for yourself. Start believing that you are here for a reason and get curious about it. Contemplate the person you are, who you’d like to become, and what all of this means to you. Give yourself the opportunity to have an incredible life, allow it into your experience by letting go of resistance so you can receive it.

Open up and Allow Life in

Where there is another cycle of breath entering your lungs, there is another chance to choose a more expansive and evolutionary path. Choosing again starts by becoming aware of how resistance is impacting your overall wellbeing and focus. Throughout any given day you’ll be faced with the choice to resist the reality of your circumstance or to accept it’s truth. Accepting where you are in this moment, especially if it’s not where you desire to be, is not a commitment to stay stagnant. It’s simply a practice of awareness without clutching to the thought that the present moment can be any different that it is.

Open yourself up and allow life to flow in and find you where you are. Start trusting your ability to change directions when life throws you an obstacle. Instead of seeing it as something that’s meant to stop you, or that these things are happening to you, open your heart and allow yourself to see the magical opportunity to evolve higher. By choosing acceptance over resistance, you are choosing to create a magnificent life for your future self. Each time the world outside of you causes suffering, look within for the strength to allow this experience in and transcend your darkness into light. The changes you are asking for may show up disguised as pain, transformation, loss, or vulnerable exposure. Acknowledge and honor your feelings, while simultaneously using them as a compass to seek ways to adapt and overcome. There is nothing you cannot be, do, or have in this life once you get out of your own way. Take a deep breath and choose again.

Love. Heal. Grow.

Posted in Practices

5 Conscious Choices to Improve Humanity

Feeling good and living well ultimately comes down to choices. How you care for the body that carries you through the day, the consideration you put into connecting with others, whether you choose to be of service to a group of people, and the contribution you choose depends on the decisions you make every day. Believe it or not, it doesn’t only involve you. By making a conscious effort to live a life of service and fulfillment you impact the people you interact with every day. 

So what if you put some intention behind those actions?

 

If everyone made conscious choices for themselves and invited others to experience these joys humanity would thrive! By making conscious choices for ourselves while considering others we have the potential to grow happier and healthier, together.

5 Ways to Impact Others

1. CONNECT

 

Support others

When you support others in their work, life, or personal journey you create a healthy and safe foundation. This connection is powerful because it allows you to grow as a person while helping others do the same; creating an endless amount of possibilities. So PLEASE let your friends and loved ones know that you believe in what they are doing and that you’ll be there for them through it. Sometimes it isn’t implied simply because you are in their life, sometimes it does need to be said.

 

Explore your interests

Remember doing sports as a child and all of the fun you had interacting with your teammates? Being an adult doesn’t have to take that fun away. Get to know others who enjoy the same sport, past time or activity as you. Expand on your hobbies and invest some time into developing your skills and understanding together. Spending time with people who can relate to you and your interests is a great way to build friendships.

Disconnecting from the virtual world

Put down your phone, close the laptop for a while and connect with those around you. At bus stops, in elevators, while you’re standing in line at the grocery store you have the opportunity to meet someone new. All new things bring with them the potential for the unknown. You may form a relationship or just learn a valuable lesson from each other. Look up and open your eyes to all the wonder around you.

2. BE ACTIVE

 

Daily intentional movement

Your body should be celebrated every day because it truly is a miracle. All of the dreaded movement, such as exercise or walking up multiple flights of steps, should be viewed through the eyes of gratitude. Each day make a conscious effort to get a morning or evening stretching in. Reward your muscles for how hard they are constantly working for you by treating them with relaxation and replenishment.

What activity makes you happy?

Think about what kind of movement makes you the happiest. If you’re an athlete it may be the preparation for your competition or hitting the gym. Others enjoy running or taking a walk with beautiful scenery. Personally I absolutely love dancing and make sure I do a little bit each day. Whatever movement makes you feel alive and grateful be sure to prioritize time to do so. Improve your mood with an exciting activity.

 

Long and short term benefits

The benefits of exercise are physical, mental and emotional. Along with keeping your heart healthy with cardio and building strength with weights, you are boosting your energy levels and reducing your stress levels. Those weekly workouts start to add up into a happy and healthy lifestyle. Finding an accountability partner or group creates an atmosphere that you look forward to every week. When you commit to your goals with others it builds a strong bond both in and outside of the fitness world.

3. TAKE NOTICE

 

Practice mindfulness

Every day that you wake up is a blessing in itself, yet with busy lives, it’s easy to take it for granted. How often are you aware of your breath and the miracle of life? How often are your thoughts where your body is, in the present moment? Make a conscious effort to notice daily habits that contribute deeply to your day. For instance brushing your teeth in the morning, getting into the shower with clean hot water and having a home where all of this takes place. Say thank you every day, for everything. 

 

Thoughts and feelings

When you take the time to notice your thoughts and how they make you feel it saves the trouble of worry and stress. Getting familiar with your mind is the start of a better relationship with yourself. As the relationship grows and gets deeper, practice letting go of all that is weighing you down. The more you practice being aware of emotions the more enjoyable life becomes.

 

Practicing gratitude

Gratitude is known to amplify happy thoughts and positive circumstances. By practicing gratitude for all of the good in life and the lessons the bad taught you, the doors for great things ahead are opened. Expand your gratitude beyond your personal life and into the world around you. Appreciate the sky with both clouds and stars, be aware of the trees and water surrounding you and consider how much nature contributes to your life.

4. KEEP LEARNING

 

Learning through experience

A favorite outlet of mine is reflective writing about the day, how I’m feeling and what I’d change next time. Pick up a notebook and write down how you’re feeling or what you’re currently involved in. One day you can look back and be humbled by your mental growth. Or maybe even help someone in a similar situation. Continue to remind yourself how far you have come by triumphing the easy and difficult experiences.

 

 

The power of a good read

READERS ARE LEADERS! Whether you are a leader on a team, a leader in your business or leading your life in the best direction possible reading will get you there faster. Understanding the perspectives of others helps us avoid making similar mistakes and gives insight into another person’s struggle. Try swapping out a Netflix show for a 30-minute reading session this week. 

 

 

Allowing the wisdom of others to teach you

Listen to those who are willing to offer loving and caring advice. Don’t judge them if they are older, and especially if they are younger, because everyone experiences life at a different pace. Stay open-minded to those who are willing to help. You may be humbled and able to avoid some mistakes in the future.

5. GIVE

 

Be kind

Being kind to others is the most inexpensive way to make the world a better place. Treating people the way you wish to be treated is just as contagious as a negative behavior toward others. The choice is always yours and it’s often much simpler than you make it out to be. It could be holding the door open for someone, saying hello to a stranger or wishing someone a beautiful day. Keeping others in mind is a powerful attribute and echoes throughout humanity.

 

 

Give back

It’s important to remember where you were and how it felt to struggle. Giving back is one of the sincerest forms of gratitude and there is never enough of it. Everyone is at different stages in their life and there’s always a way to give back. Choose what you are able to give that can help someone’s life improve. Whether it’s clothes that no longer serve you, money if you have some to spare, a lesson learned from a tough road in your life, and most importantly give someone your time. Be present with those you are speaking or listening to, give them your undivided attention, and when possible give them peace of mind.

 

 

To Forgive is to give

Forgiveness means letting go of what is weighing you down, accepting what has happened and choosing to move forward. This does not mean to excuse whatever action or person hurt you, this does not mean that you’ll allow it to happen again. Forgiveness is an act of freedom. To forgive means to create more space in your heart for love and in your mind for understanding. When you forgive you give humanity another chance to show you their innate goodness. Always make room for that.

The Power To Improve Humanity

Imagine a world that everyone participated in these actions each day. Some small, some big, but everyone is involved. Imagine a world where the ripple effects of kindness, gratitude, forgiveness, honesty, movement, knowledge and love were felt on a massive scale. I don’t believe the world is too far off from living this life as a whole, but it begins with the choices made each day.

When you choose to open your hearts to others you grow in compassion and understanding. Through deep connection, an active lifestyle, noticing the world around us, giving to others and continuing to learn you are contributing positively to humanity. Making conscious decisions to be better versions of yourself allows you to collectively help the world become a better place. The happier you are the more you want to spread it to others, all while increasing our wellbeing.

 

 

Stay positive, keep moving, be open-minded, contribute selflessly, and build relationships. Remember, it’s good for your health and the wellbeing of humanity.